OK....i want to talk to someone, but i dont know wat to say...i know who i want to talk to, but want to say something without getting you are not fat, or ugly sentance...well, i mean i dont mind hearing it, but want to hear something else...a confidance booster...also, why is it sometimes easier to talk to someone else other than your parents? jw...u dont have to answer that question...but i just want some tips on what to say.
2006-12-30 16:24:07 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Parents are good ego boosters until you are about the age of 8 or 10. By then (or whatever age you start), you really start caring about other people's opinions, and your parents seem biased.
It's the difference between your mom saying your cute/handsome/whatnot and the boy/girl of your dreams saying the same to you. When you realize the difference of that, and the impact it makes, then your parents opinion doesn't carry as much authority.
Trying to talk with someone about body/weight/image problems is tricky because everyone is afraid (or at least the people who care, that is) that their stray comment will be the one that pushes the person over the edge into perpetual self-loathing.
Make it known that you aren't going to jump off a building if they mess up, but that you do need to have outside confirmation of your self-worth. Say you need a reality check, and reality says that everyone has worth and value, but that sometimes it can be hard to see. Also, ask for specifics. The more specific they are, the more satisfying the answer will be. Someone saying you have a 'great personality' is saying the same as you did 'great' on a test, when you only got a C-. If you are smart, tell them to name some smart things you have done. If you have great taste, get them to name some great things you have made. The more specific they get, the clearer you will be able to visualize what you haven't been recognizing, and that 'evidence' will get you to where you need to be.
Of course, if I have completely misunderstood this question, then I do apologize.
2006-12-30 18:02:34 · answer #1 · answered by Khnopff71 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well it's a little confusing but... I think that you are telling whomever you talk to that YOU think you are fat and ugly or something to that affect. If a person wants to compliment you, they will. People tell you what they really feel about you as far as complimenting goes. - If you want an opinion about your body image according to your question; ask them what do they think. You'll get a faster and more satisfying response without all the "beating around" questions. I think it would be best to just ask your questions out forward. Everyone wants a opinion sometimes of what others think, so go in and don't feel weird about it.
2006-12-31 00:36:41 · answer #2 · answered by Angela 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
not to sure what you mean, if the image you want to discuss is their body then don't even go there, as I am sure they are more than aware of any and all their so called flaws. If it is your own again if you believe that you have a problem and truly wish to change it, then seek professional counselling, because it is entirely possible the body you have is the one you were meant to have, and you need to have a mental adjustment to accept your self, were are all unique and beautiful and to those who see us as less are the true loosers. It is all how you see your self, and if you do not like it get a new mirror, one that shows not only your body, but you character, your soul, and all the other wonderful beautiful things God ever created, Remember that God doesn't create imperfections, we just believe we have them and in doing so , we do have them.
2006-12-31 00:37:38 · answer #3 · answered by rkilburn410 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So from what I understand, you want the truth, but only if it's good? If you want to delude yourself, simply ask "how do I look?" if you want truth ask "Seriously, truthfully, how do I look?" when both of you aren't busy. As for why it's easier to talk to strangers then your parents, you put lots of more weight into the words of your parents then you do a stranger.
2006-12-31 00:36:29 · answer #4 · answered by Cory W 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mmmm , you need to write down what you expect from your self ,
do u wish to be fat , thin etc , in your own mind,you know what you want to look like right? work toward what you want ,not what every one else expect you to be .
2006-12-31 00:29:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋