Why do we as gay people need to "come out of the closet?"?

Question

As gays, I think all of us realize that homosexuality is completely normal and something we can't control. If homosexuality is just as normal as heterosexuality, then why do we need to come out to everyone that we're gay? Straight people don't come out saying they're straight. It's not as though I'm afraid to come out to people, it just seems that if we didn't come out to people it would put homosexuality along the same lines as heterosexuality.

Answer 1

I don't think your sexuality is anybody else's business. I don't advertise my sexuality, why should you advertise yours? Sexuality isn't something to be proud or ashamed of. We all are who we are whether or not other people like it. Some closed minded people are just going to have to learn how to deal.

Answer 2

That is the way things SHOULD be. Problem is, there's a large difference between the way things should be and the way things are. And acting as though things are the way they should be won't do a thing to getting them there. If you pretend that we don't face oppression every day simply because we shouldn't, that's not helping anything. If you pretend, in this case, that people aren't automatically assuming that EVERYONE is straight ("compulsory heterosexuality"), you're not doing yourself any favors. No one would put homosexuality along the same lines as heterosexuality; they'd just pretend it didn't exist because we'd be letting them.

Answer 3

It is a fact that some people do not accept gays. This can cause some gays to keep their sexuality a secret, thus they are in the closet. At some point many of these gays will decide that it is ok to be open about their sexuality, this is when they come out of the closet.

Answer 4

Heterosexuals do come out as straight by showing affection in public, holding hands, having children getting married. Gay people need to come out because to remain in the closet would mean giving up everything that is meaningful to you. TO never be able to show affection to our loved ones, to deny who we really are. Don't think for a minute that keeping your true identity hidden does anything but lie to everyone you know. Come out and be true to yourself. You deserve it.

Answer 5

I agree with you, some random person doesn't walk up to you and say "Hey I'm straight!" So why should anyone expect you to walk up to someone and say "Dahling I'm gay!" It's just not something thats so important. The only people you should really tell that youre gay..responsible for telling youre a homosexual is your spouse, love interest and sometimes.. family. So long as you are comfortable with your lifestyle and choices, it's noone elses business. Besides, flamboyanting yourself around can get you harrass, beat up, raped, killed, fired from work and placed on lawsuits. It's just not worth it. Remember, don't ask, don't tell.

Answer 6

Well, straights do come out saying that they're straight. They show you pics of their spouse and kids. They wear a wedding ring and if you go in their house they usually have their wedding photo prominently displayed. And tons of other little things like that. It's not like they're purposely shoving it in your face. They're just living their lives openly. But living your life openly IS being out.

So for me coming out of the closet just means being as visible and open as straight people. That means if someone assumes that I'm looking for "a nice man to settle down with" I politely correct them. If I'm chatting with people about what we did over the weekend I'll tell them what bar I went to instead of being vague about it.

Having to constantly monitor my speech so that I'm not perceived as throwing my lifestyle in a straight person's face is no way to live, unless we suddenly as a society agree that straight people also have to monitor their speech. If they agree to use gender-neutral pronouns, be vague about significant others, and not put pictures on their desk of the hubby and kids then there will be no need for Anyone to come out. :)

Answer 7

No one seems to pick on straight people. We need to come out so that the world remembers we are here and demand equality. Plus a lot of gays, maybe even the majority, will be influenced by homophobic persuasion. So many of them actually are tormented by their sexuality and need to come to terms with it themselves and then to others.

Answer 8

just as I used to be, gays/bis can get extremely stressed while they are in the closet because they feel they are lying to everyone else, even if they act in a way that allows everybody else to be able to guess it. Thus, coming out is a way for gays/bis to get rid of that stress and to be more ok with themselves. I had to force myself to act "normal" and not "weak" or any of the other stereotypes put on guys who act girly, which caused me a lot of additional stress. When I came out, I was able to act more my personality and know who really cared about me and who only cared about me if i was str8. It allowed me to know who my real friends were and got rid of the social pain of being in the closet; I no longer needed to fake anything.

Answer 9

It's interesting that most of the answers saying that we shouldn't 'flaunt' are from straight people, who have no idea what it is like to be closeted. As has already been pointed out, straight people do 'come out' all the time with their words and actions. Which is great - everybody should be would they are. But I have that same right. Imagine spending your days as a closeted lesbian. You might censor the way you look or dress - you might have to wear a 'disguise' to work. While your colleagues talked about their lives and families you might say nothing, or you might change the sex of your partner in your stories You might not have photos of your family or children, for fear you would have to explain. You might feel pressured to date or spend time with men in whom you had absolutely no interest in order to 'cover'. You might hide who you were when applying for a loan or a house in order to avoid discrimination. And forget about health insurance or any of those rights straight spouses take for grantedYou might deny who you were in order to avoid being hassled or gay bashed. If your or your partner was hospitalized you might be kept from comforting one another by a family that hadn't been involved in years. If your partner died without a will you might be kept from inheriting, even if you had been together with entwined finances for years. Your children might be taken from you. You might feel the need to censor the art on your walls or the books in your library. Does this sound like any way to live?

Being out gives us power. Ask any older person. I came out thirty years ago, and it was a piece of cake compared to people who came out fifty years ago. If you can look around and see other lesbians and gay men in all walks of life, people who are good role models for their courage and compassion and creativity, it empowers us all. Also, if we don't come out, if people around us are not aware of us as their friends and neighbors, then the only portrait of lesbians and gay they have are those presented by the media and Focus on the Family, and you know how they are. Asking a gay or lesbian person to stay closeted because you are not comfortable with them coming out is equivalent to asking a light skinning black person to pass.

Answer 10

Most people today automatically assume that some one is straight. So people would just think we are straight if we didn't come out.