my friend started bleeding today and she was 13 weeks preggars. The fetus came out. It was very tiny. I'm with her now she refuses to go to the emergency room. I can't make her do what she doesn't want to do. She's resting and drinking lots of fluids and eating meat for iron. I told her to prop up her legs.
Now the problem is, what do we do with the fetus? It is in a pan. Do we discard it? *No judgemental answers please!
2006-12-30 16:05:46 · 7 answers · asked by peppermint 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
again, no judgemental answers. Our concern right now is what to do with the fetus. My friend didn't have any prenatal care. She just got an ultrasound from clinic several weeks ago.
2006-12-30 16:09:44 · update #1
I'm so sorry for your friend's loss. I had a 12 week's spontaneous miscarriage, so I know what it's like.
Please wrap the baby in a soft clean cloth, along with the placenta. This looks like a bloody, liver-looking mass with the umbilical cord attached.
You should help her by kneading her uterus from the top downward to encourage any afterbirth to be expelled. She'll have large bloody clots. However, if the blood is bright red and lots of it, get her into the doctors ASAP.
Take your friend to the emergency room at the hospital or to her Oby/Gyn tomorrow. She's not thinking clearly, sorry. If all the afterbirth didn't come out she is at risk for life-threatening infections. This used to kill women all the time after giving birth, so it IS serious.
Take the baby and placenta along with you to the doctors so they can inspect it to see it's all out. You can choose to let the doctor dispose of it, or have a quiet, private funeral and bury the baby and placenta on your property, depending on your beliefs.
When I had my miscarriage, I was not allowed to even touch the tiny baby, and the grieving process lasted a lot longer than it could have.
2006-12-30 16:26:24 · answer #1 · answered by Mmerobin 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
If your friend refuses to go to the hospital, then that is her choice, nothing you can do. Just be there for your friend, that's what she needs right now. Don't leave her alone.
Start kneading on your friends stomach starting from the top and downward, to expel any remains, keep doing it until there is no more "stuff" coming out.
There is an article for unassisted miscarriage, there is stuff your friend can take so she can feel better------> http://www.unhinderedliving.com/ucmiscarriage.html
If the organic or herb store is closed, go tomorrow as early as possible.
If her condition gets worse today call 911 or drag her to the hospital.
As for the fetus, then I've heard that women who have had unassisted miscarriage bury their "baby" privately.
If you call the hospital in regards to the fetus, they will want to see the mother as well and probably call an ambulance on her (they can find out your friends address by just her phone number). She probably will not able to keep the fetus. The fetus will be used for examination in the lab. Any fetus up to 24 weeks and up is considered a stillborn and the parents have the option to bury the baby.
I hope these tools will help you and your friend. Email me if you need any help.
2006-12-30 16:31:24 · answer #2 · answered by choosinghappiness 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get your friend to a doctor, there might be a medical reason she had the miscarriage, also they will probably do a D & C to make sure she doesn't get an infection, if she doesn't go to the doctor she stands a good chance at getting an infection and then will have to go to the emergency room and possibly stay over in the hospital. When you take her take the fetus with you. That way the doctors will be able to make a better determination as to what happened, (unless this was a self induced abortion in which case it is IMPERATIVE that she gets to the hospital NOW or she could wind up bleeding to death internally)
2006-12-30 16:09:54 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
if your friend wont go to the emergency room then call the hospital and ask them what to do with the fetus. But your friend really needs to go to the hospital and get checked out.
2006-12-30 16:10:17 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I'm so sorry. I would put the baby in a plastic bag to preserve it for lab tests. The MD's might be able to determine the cause of the miscarriage.
I'm praying for her and for you.
2006-12-30 16:15:46 · answer #5 · answered by Jujube 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
go to the doctor.. take the fetus with you.. don't throw it out... there could be a serious reason why your friend had a miscarraige...
2006-12-30 16:55:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
go to the hospital she needs to be seen by doctors
a miscarriage is a very painful theng to through they will give her something to make her comfortable
2006-12-30 16:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by angie c 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋