Marriage for financial security that is non-existant?

Question

My husband is a friend, has allowed me the opportunity to home-school my daughter and basically allowed me to "slack." As of late, he has decided to "limit" me on my spending, while he controls all of our finances. I am frustrated, am new to my area and have submitted my resume to several places with no avail. How can I make him respect my needs? My daughter is in school now, and I am more than willing to go back to work to contribute to our household. The problem, really, is that I would rather swing it as a single than deal with a control issue. So now what?

Answer 1

Depending on how long you have been in your new home, you may be having the usual feelings that come with a major relocation. I find myself in a somewhat similar situation but would never reject my husband. Unless there is something truly bad in your marriage my suggestion would be to find a hobby to occupy your time until you can a job (hell, I can't find one either).
Give it time and make sure you are taking care of yourself and talk to your husband about what you are feeling, it's working for me.

Good luck : )

Answer 2

Take a good look at your credit card debt. You might understand where your hubby is coming from. You need to work with him to set up a budget and quit regarding it as a control issue.

Find yourself a job and keep 50% of that money for your mad money. Contribute the other 50% directly toward paying off the household debt.

Before you think seriously about going the single route, you need to know how expensive rents are in your area, what kind of job you can get that will help make ends meet (if you are unemployed now you'd better have college behind you and job experience), and exactly HOW you will make it. DO NOT INCLUDE CHILD SUPPORT in the equation. It's never enough to live on. Welfare isn't either. You have to have a job before you do anything so you can calculate how you will make it.

Answer 3

NON-EXISTANT?? You have a home, being taken care of, allowed to slack, and you say there is not security?
From what you said, it sounds like you married this man just for his money. Now that you've spent it all and he has put a limit on it, you want to hit the road.

I say, give your husband the child, and everything else, and hit the road, maybe you will find some other man willing to let you spend all you want.

Answer 4

As a husband, my first question is why did he start limiting your spending? What were you buying that you can no longer?

Second is, what are your needs? Safety, shelter, ample supply of clean food and water, affection, self-esteem? Do you have to spend to gain self-esteem or are you self-actualized?

Is this control he is exerting out of necessity or is it just a control issue? Was there a potential power struggle in your marriage before your daughter was born? If so, was it settled or is it now resurfacing?

Think of your daughter, what would she say?

Answer 5

Sit down and talk to him about your issues. Keep at it, you are not necessarily going to work it out right away. Let him know what bothers you and what you would like to do. Ask him why he does the things that bother you. You are a couple you owe it to each other to work it out. Good Luck.

Answer 6

if its so easy to leave you dont love him; if you do then get back to that and work it out ; things change over time; maybe for the better.

Answer 7

Tell him how you feel and that you will get a lawyer at his expense ,certain things have to be spoken out loud

Answer 8

You CAN do it on your own, He may have a girl on the side, Watch your back. TRUST ME ! You CAN do it you dont need a man.