My bf of 3 years work all the time. Sometimes I feel as if I don't even know him anymore. Imagine marrying the guy. I need to know how the experience is treating you girls in simular situations and how you cope with it? Thanks.
2006-12-30 15:39:30 · 12 answers · asked by roxylee11782 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
at first before i married him, i felt i had found someone truly meant for me, but after marriage he changed and i often felt i never knew him. communication is the key, if u have problems communicating or he shuts u down when u try, soon u will avoid any kind of communication with them and the marriage will fail.
2006-12-31 02:44:55 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Face a fact here. Even when you dont feel that you are, you still are. The most that we ever really know of someone else is what they tell us, what they show us in general and what they want us to think at times.
Funny, but if you think about it, you have shown that you dont know yourself as well as you thought you did, at least in some circumstances. Right? Well, most people go through that in some ways and under some conditions. So if you dont know yourself at times or can suprise yourself with some things or thoughts, how can you really know anyone else?
Next, we all change over time, as to some of our thoughts, beleifs, reasonings, etc. I am not the guy I was at 20. Now, I still have the same core values and beliefs, still have my general personality and so forth, but I have learned things that have caused me to be less strong about one thing, more strong about another. I am more certain about some things, less certain or concerned about others.
2006-12-30 15:47:31 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, I've been married for 6 yrs and my hubby was not that way when I married him. People do change , but if he is that way now don't marry him you will be miserable. My husband -when I'm off-doesn't spend hardly any time with me. And I don't ask for a lot of his time, but some would be nice. I have tried to talk to my guy and that is getting me no where quick. New year is coming and I think that its time for some changes
2006-12-30 15:53:58 · answer #3 · answered by firefly06 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot depends on what your husband does. If his job entails frequent travelling, yup, you might be married to a "stranger". But you need to build a life together from the very beginning. After the passion has worn down, real life begins and thereon - many issues have to be handled on a down to earth situation everyday. We have to learn to accept and expect marriage cannot be a life time bed of roses. Thorns are always going to be the cause of some obstacles and pain but we just have to learn to accept/overcome them.
2006-12-30 15:51:34 · answer #4 · answered by PikC 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes. And after 10 years, he's still a stranger to me. I hate it: Frustration, loneliness, occasional suspicion.
Get out while you can. The way he's treating you now is as good as it's gonna get. No, it's better than it will be after marriage. So if it's intolerable now, imagine the misery in the future.
2006-12-30 15:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by LisaFlorida 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
:) No, but then again we have been married for almost 4 years and together 2 years before that. There are always things we find out about each other, but we do not feel like strangers.
2006-12-30 15:42:51 · answer #6 · answered by Kelly s 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't have this problem however in a previous relationship I did I always say a little prayer...God please remove all those things in my life that may not lift me up as the person you planned for me to be, even if it may make me sad allow me to get over it quickly and still be a loving person.
If this person is not treating you the way you desire to be treated as a gf what makes you think he will be the best man to be your husband?
Start living your life and loving the person you are.
Best Wishes
2006-12-30 16:20:02 · answer #7 · answered by hawleysangel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
im in a similar, yet different situation. i have been married to my husband for a year and he doesnt ever spend time with me. he goes to work and comes straight home to get on a ps2 until he passes out and there is not any time for me. i have friends that give me the emotional support that he doesnt but that isnt healthy for a marriage. so if you are considering marrying this guy you should ask yourself if you can deal with it. marriage doesnt make it easier. it actually makes it more difficult. good luck and happy new year!!
2006-12-30 15:45:30 · answer #8 · answered by punkins_wife121705 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This might be the time for both of you to spend some quality time together. If he is unable to take much time away from work you could both schedule some time for yourselves. You can try being subtle in letting him know whats going on. It would be nice if you could plan a vacation together. It can be as close as travelling out of town or just simply going to a hotel for the weekend. (a nice resort with ammenities) If he travels for work mabye you can accompany him on one of his trips. Perhaps he is so taken up with work he doesnt even realize what's happening.Bring it to his attention.
2006-12-30 16:23:16 · answer #9 · answered by L.Sincere 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You get one life Roxy, no rehearsals, this is it !
You are not happy, the guy doesn't give you any of his time, so you are not that important to him, he gets sex when he wants it, so he is doing exactly as he wants and too bad about you or what you want out of life. Talk to him about it, say you'd like to spend more time with him. If he agrees , good, if he puts up a fight and says it's to get ahead etc,then dump him he doesn't have your best interest at heart. Good Luck.
2006-12-30 15:50:58 · answer #10 · answered by Cheryl K 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋