Does having a baby mean your relationship has to change?

Question

my boyfriend just had a baby by his now ex about 2 weeks ago and ever since then so many things have changed, i expected a few things to change, but not the way he treated me. He treats me so differnetly now we fight just about every day he doesnt call me any of those cute little nicknames he used to call me and he doesnt say he love me like he used to..it just doesnt sound the same he used to call me back after just hanging up just to hear my voice one more time before he went to sleep, but its not at all like that anymore..he shows me no affection at all. i feel like i've become last since his baby has gotta here, and like i really don't matter anymore. i know once you have a child that baby becomes first in your life before anything, but is that an excuse on him acting like this towards me? and why do you think he acts like this now what should i say to him to voice how i feel?

ITS NOT MY BABY ITS HIS WIT ANOTHER GRL...HIS EX

NO HE DIDNT CHEAT ON ME...HE GOT HER PREGNANT BEFORE I KNEW HIM SHE BROKE UP WIT HIM AND WE GOT TOGETHER

Answer 1

It doesn't have to but you have to work to find your balance. I'm in a similar situation but I'm the one with the baby. They very well may have feelings for the other that resurfaced now. Give him some time or approach it with an open mind and very SENSITIVELY! Perhaps she's being demanding on him and he's just trying to find a way to balance his new responsibilities with his relationship with you. Always remember that the story he tells may not be what's really happening as I said I'm there now. Can you find a way to approach him without him taking it the wrong way? Also you have to understand that you put yourself in this situation. Neither one of you knew what you were getting yourselves into. It's going to be hard but if he loves you he will work hard and acknowledge your feelings all while taking care of his child.

Answer 2

Wow, what a huge change. Yes, every relationship does change with babies. There is another sweet Little one who needs your attention much much more than your boyfriend. He likely is feeling left out and wants more attention than you could possibly give him right now. I don't want to come across as judgmental, but if he didn't marry you, he was not committed to the pregnancy or the new baby to begin with and is probably put off by the whole thing.

In a marriage, it is hard enough to not feel like your relationship is out of whack when the first child comes. It is easy to be resentful of the past and your old relationship before the baby.

If he is not violent towards either of you, you could sit down together at the dinner table or living room (not the bedroom) and tell him how you feel. Use "I" statements like "I feel... I see...I think" so that you are talking about your feelings and not his actions. Maybe you two could also go to your doctor for your checkup. The dr. can discuss in a neutral way how the baby affects the two of you and more importantly, your hormones and your needs.
If he does have any violent tendencies and you are afraid of what he may do if you talk with him, have the conversation at your parent's home or another trusted family member.
good luck to you and don't let it wear you down. Rest when you can and know that this little child loves you more than you could ever know right now. You and your baby have a very wonderful relationship that no one can take away.

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to you.

Answer 3

You should have a talk with him. I want to ask you one question first. Do you want all of this drama in your life? Your boyfriend just had a baby with an ex. That other chic is gonna be after your man for some money or she may try to get him back. Another problem is that maybe he wants to be with his ex. Having a baby brings on some strong feelings and he's probably wanting to be in that child's life and that means being in the child's mother's life too. Just think about this. Do you want to stay in this relationship? Are you prepared for all the crap that will happen in the near future. He will either go back with his ex or go to court to set up child support. This could get ugly. I'm sorry your going through all this crap! Just do what you feel is best. If you love this guy, then talk to him and work things out.

Answer 4

not only after you've had a baby, the longer you've been together, the sex slows down too.
Maybe you can be a little more patient with your boyfriend. Give him some attention too. Hug him a lot, ask how his day was. Cook his favorite meals.
Clean up if you live with your boyfriend if your place is messy. Messy places causes chaos. I'm not sure if you've done these things already cuz I don't know you, but it has worked for me in my relationship.
If he's stressed out and you feel like he's in a bad mood, leave him alone until he cools down. Don't be in the same room when he's in a bad mood, he will take it out on you! Go to a different room to chill until it gets better. Ask him if he needs anything, afterwards. If you feel he is still stressed out, offer to massage him.
Do not voice your problems to men when they are in a bad mood. Wait till your man is calmed down and when you are massaging him, ask him that you would appreciate some attention too because you feel neglected. You can also mention it after you've cooked his favorite meals or baked his favorite desserts. When men are in a good mood they will reciprocate positively.
I know I was in the verge of my spouseleaving me because I expected everything from him. I nagged often when he was stressed out and I wasn't doing my part. I fixed that part and our relationship improved.

I hope it works out for you too.

Answer 5

i'm not probably a sturdy answerer to this question on the grounds that i did not extremely have any buddies in the previous I had young little ones yet I even have found out that persons are much less probably to be my pal while they locate out I even have young little ones. I had my son while i became 15 years previous and the place i became living on the time wasn't the final place to be for it. i don't think of everywhere is *sturdy* to have a toddler at 15 yet I moved to my mom's the place there became extra help. I acutally did have a pair ultimate buddies the 4 years i became there yet they the two had young little ones too or had lots of little brothers and sisters so they have been used to it. i'm lower back living the place i became while i became 15 and nevertheless have a 5 a million/2 month previous daughter and that i'm interior a similar spot...have some "buddies" at artwork yet never consult from them except i'm at artwork. i stumble on myself striking out with older women folk as a results of fact i think so grown up and that i'm basically 22. My "ultimate pal" has 2 young little ones my age yet we are on a similar "point". human beings do not comprehend what it somewhat is want to have young little ones, and human beings that have not have been given young little ones do not want to be "afflicted" via people who do. it somewhat is often that way from what I even have considered and that i'm specific it somewhat is going to continuously be like that...regrettably.

Answer 6

Try to be patient with him right now. He's got a lot of pressure on him and a lot of things going on and the fact that he's not with his baby's mother is probably complicating things as well, what with access and visitation and custody and support and everything that goes along with it. If she broke up with him he may still have some residual feelings for her, especially now that baby is actually here. Give him a little time and space to sort things out, while letting him know that you are here to support him emotionally, when he's ready.

Answer 7

Try and make him notice how he is treating you. Throw little hints at him. If he doesnt get the clues then ask questions. He may have a little more feeling for his baby's momma than he intended and doesnt know how to tell you. When u have a baby by someone they become a big part of of your life. So he probably just needs to be shown what he has and let him decide where he wants to be.

Answer 8

He is under stress, lack of sleep and the child comes first. Too expect different is not fair to him or his child. His treatment of you though is not fair either. Babies change things but if he cared about you he wouldn't be rude. Talk to him about your feelings but remember his child comes first. He may have changed his feelings towards you, he is a dad now and growing up to be responsible. Encourage and support his being a responsible father.

Answer 9

This is really stressful and scary time, neither of yo know what to expect, babies can make your relationship stronger or destroy them. I would have a mediation counsuling session to find out what is going on. He might be worried that when the baby comes you will have no time for him which is most likley true. Keeping a relationship open to communication is key. Best of luck to you and your soon to be new baby

Answer 10

He has a child now, you're going to have to get used to the idea that YOU are no longer number one in his life. He has other priorities now, if you don't like the way you are being treated get out of the relationship.