Roommate troubles?

Question

I live with my best friend and a few things have started to bother me
1. I close my door to my room but when i come home from work, the door is opened and the lights are turned on, telling me that she was in there. I dont go into her room when shes not home, and i thought that was the respectful thing to do.
2. I have a bathroom in my room and she has one in her room. But instead of using her own, she uses mine. Now it would be different if we shared a bathroom, but i dont see why she feels the need to use mine when she has her own. Ive asked her not to use it, but she still does, not to get ready, but to piss.
3. In the laundry room there are piles of clothes of hers that have been there for about 5 months. All of her dressers are down there instead of being in her room. I can live with the dressers but the piles of clothes are just crazy.

shes my BF and helps me out alot with money and stuff but shouldnt my personal space be respected? Or am i just overreacting to all of this?

I couldnt put everything down but its not like she pays for everything, shell buy groceries once in a while and so will i, i still pay my portion of the rent, but if i need to borrow like 20 bucks shell give it to me and i pay her back, so its not like im living off of her or anything, just irritates me, dont want a huge fight over it but shes really sensitive lol

Answer 1

Well, here's a major life lesson that we all need to get better at:
confrontation.
There's no getting around it--you have to plainly state your "complaints". She might get defensive, but that's normal-try not to take it personally. Living with other people means compromise and respecting others.
Good Luck

Answer 2

You're definitely not overreacting. If this is your best friend, you should be able to sit down and talk like two adults. Let her know that although you two are sharing a home, you still need your personal space. Tell her that she is violating that space by coming into your room and using your restroom.Also bring up the fact that dirty clothes cause mildew and mold. Mildew and mold attracts insects and rodents. Maybe you guys can come to some kind of agreement with the laundry. My roommate and I had laundry days. We took turns doing laundry on the weekends.You can also try getting a doorknob for your room that can lock. Keep the key with you. That way she can't get in your room or bathroom.

Answer 3

No you are not overreacting... man... My roomie used to do the exact same thing... so then I started locking my door... I also hated it when she would leave her UNDERWEAR in my room for some reason after she changed... I would always take all her junk and put it in her room...You have every right to personal space... she has hers....right? Why not tell her to clean up after herself... ask her how she would like it if u threw all ur stuff in her "space"....without being harsh about it... and if it really doesnt work... remind her that you do pay 1/2 of everything and you can always find another roomie... tell her nicely that you 2 being roomies may start coming in between your friendship and you think it might be a good idea if she goes... lol then she is sure tto ask why... just tell her... YOU ARE DRIVIN ME NUTS!!!

Answer 4

Have you tried talking to her about it? Also you have to be careful in how you confront her because you don't want to put her on the spot where she gets defensive either.

Try saying to her that you respect her and that it's important that you have your own private space. Be honest with her by saying I don't want to ruin a perfectly good relationship and this is something I would like to bring to your attention. Get it off your chest and tell her because if it's goes on too long you may end up resenting her.

I don't think you are overreacting because you want your own private space and there is nothing wrong with that.

If you don't feel comfortable being direct maybe you can throw a hint at her and ask her if it's okay if you could use her washroom?

Also for that laundry problem ask her to sit down and together and watch "How clean is your house"? Maybe you could watch the show and discuss it. It gives the whole picture on how horrible a person house looks because they actually analyze a persons home to show the bugs and what not. Who knows maybe she will get the picture?

Maybe hints like that may get her to think about why is he asking me this?

http://www.wnetwork.com/tv_shows/shows/how_clean_is_your_house/index.asp

Answer 5

1. Put a lock on your bedroom door. When you leave your place for work, school ,etc., lock the door. That will eliminate her going into your bedroom and your bathroom.

2. There is nothing too much you can do about her sloppy housekeeping in the laundry room. Work around it. If it gets too bad, wait until the lease is up and leave the place.

Answer 6

She likes your neatness, you must be a very neat person. I know how it is to have to use a clean rest room. That is when I'm on the road. I keep my restroom clean at home because it makes me fell comfortable, But you are right it is all about your space and your feelings. She should respect that..... good luck...

Answer 7

You're not overreacting and it's common for friends to get on each others nerves when they actually live together.You guys just need to talk about this in a polite manner,it sounds annoying but nothing to cause a big fight over.

Answer 8

Sounds like she doesnt have manners. Maybe you should try telling her that even though you guys are friends, she needs to respect your privacy. Even best friends have bounderies. If that doesn't work you need to install a lock on your door and take the key with you to work.

Answer 9

You have a right to your privacy and if you have approached her with this and nothing has changed maybe you need to find another roomate.
On the other hand it is not a good idea to borrow money from a friend.
.
Take care!
Have a Happy New Year.

Answer 10

Get a lock for your door. Sit her down and tell her face to face how you feel. Try to work something out with the laundry.. dont be harsh (I hate doing laundry too). Good luck!