I am friends with two sisters who have toddlers near my age, and I don't have the energy to continue our friendship. Their kids are examples of what happens when you are a lazy parent. (screamers, bullying, etc) And every time they come visit we all get sick. I just feel worn out every time I meet up with them. Their family asks to borrow money from me, and I always pay for everything.
Last time I went to visit one of them their controlling husband only let her come see me for maybe a few hours out of my three day visit, and only on his terms. I took them out to dinner, and he ordered a steak dinner with crab cakes and alcohol without bothering to ask and expecting me to pay. Since then I have only talked to one of the sisters but I don't even want to deal with her anymore.
Should I just stop picking up the phone and responding to emails? I have already done this since my visit with one sister but she doesn’t seem to get the clues. Is there something nice I could say?
Thanks =)
2006-12-30 14:44:07 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I recently read an advice column (like Dear Abby or something) that said you should break up with friends the way you break up with a boyfriend or girlfriend. I don't know if that works though; it seems awkward to me to sit down with someone and specifically tell them "I don't want to see you any more". At the very least, though, you will need to be able to say "no, I can't" to any more requests for money. They don't need to know whether you can't afford it, or just don't want to give it to them - so don't let them press you for that kind of an answer.
However, if you still like these sisters & would like to continue some friendship with them - and just can't take the extra family members - try to arrange a regular "girls' night out" every month or every-other-month. That way you get to spend time with those people who are really your friends, without the screaming kids or husband(s). You might still have to foot the bill for that, unless you can convince them to chip in each time. If money's an issue you can come up with less expensive things to do, like a poker night at your house with fake money and a simple dinner the 3 of you prepare together. If that works out, it will keep you in touch with them - and give them a little occasional escape - until their kids are older and maybe more sociable.
Good luck.
2006-12-30 14:54:07 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Seems like you've been taken advantage of ... it happens so often to those willing to help a little .... then those you help expect it all the time ...
I think you should just distance yourself by stop responding to emails and screening your calls ... when they ask why they haven't been able to contact you ... reply you have found other intrests and are out living YOUR life not waiting around to help others live theirs
If they truly are friends they'll understand ... if they don't ... it's their loss and you can get on with your life
Good Luck
P.S. ... What are you doing next Thursday ;) ...lol
2006-12-30 14:49:48 · answer #2 · answered by deadkelly_1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well that really sucks.. if they like hanging out with you.. But i justt you should just stay away from them alot.
2006-12-30 14:45:39 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
respond by explaining just like you did to us. that will take care of your whole problem, one way or the other. what are they going to do? refuse to be your friend? do you care?
2006-12-30 14:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by angel1 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell them that you feel used and that you dont want a part in it anymore . then ignore them and they will get the message.
2006-12-30 14:47:56 · answer #5 · answered by punkins_wife121705 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
just tell them you dont have any money to spear, besides, your telling the truth! i mean, its your money to spend, and your money to keep, so you dont have any money to spear, and DONT answere there e-mails, and dont associate with them
2006-12-30 14:49:38 · answer #6 · answered by mogi 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
sleeping with the husband should end the friendship
2006-12-30 14:47:38 · answer #7 · answered by cheezie72 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋