Me and my girlfriend kinda grew up together but shes a few years older then me.Now that im 18, we just started going out to gay bars together.She seems to have phobia to butch girls and is a total *** about it.This ads to my issue with her because I would say im a little butch myself I dunno.I wear guys clothing sometimes moslty cause im tall and have a strait frame,they look better on me+ its just more like me.So my girlfriend has been trying to dress me differently ,style my hair more fem,and almost forcing me to wear more make up.She says she dosent get me because and this is a quote"you dont act like a guy in the streets or in the sheets,so i dont understand why wont you look girly to".and she wont quit.Its like she trying to change me.And now that I am kinda introduced to the gay scene.There seems to be a ton more open minded people,and to be quite honest,there are a quite a few girls who really want to be with me the way i am.I dunno maybe i am messed up what do you think?
2006-12-30 13:34:09 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
I've been with the same woman for about 11 years - ups, downs and in betweens - the best thing about our relationship is that we love who the other one is - regardless of what that looks like. As long as my partner isn't doing something that is self destructive then she should do and look like whatever works for her. She used to be a lot more "butch" than she is now (we're older than you), but I don't care what she looks like as long as she feels good in her own skin (fortunately for me she's beautiful, but I see the inside of her, too, and the outside is insignificant). Also, at your age, you really will miss out on a lot of experience if you stay with one person and never experience anything else - especially if the one your with doesn't want you to be who you are. I love my girlfriend in guys clothes or in my clothes - she wears both - and looks great in both (sometimes better than me since she's thinner and has bigger b**bs!). Yikes, too much info. ANyhow, I say explore the scene - carefully - but you may do well to start expanding your horizons. It'll be tough for your girlfriend, but you'll both get through it and probably you'll both end up better for it (and maybe back together, too). Good luck!
2006-12-30 13:58:53 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 4⤊ 0⤋
Trying to make a butch dress girly is like having a beautiful diamond and dying it red because what you really want is a ruby. Lots of women love butches - find one who will appreciate you. Trying to make you less butch is like someone trying to make you less gay. There are all kinds of lesbians in the world - it's not one size fits all. Also, if you put a space after every period in your sentence your questions will be easier to read.
2006-12-30 19:02:11 · answer #2 · answered by jane7 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WoW..interesting..I went out with a Mexican girl and she did the exact same thing altho she wanted me to start dressing more butch than I was accostomed to..I guess u could say she dressed me from head to toe..she introduced me to her family and it was all cool I hanged out with her father, brothers, uncles, and cousins I guess she was preping me up for the part..I eventually broke up with her because she was not for me..and having me trained like a little Chihuahua was just not a very happy time for me because I loved her and I wanted to make her happy but it just wasn't gonna work when she wanted to mold me into someone she wanted instead of appreciating the person I already was..my g/f now loves everything about me and I don't have to change a thing..talk to your gal hopefully u can reach a middle ground without losing the relationship..good luck~
2006-12-30 23:21:50 · answer #3 · answered by Charmer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's not good that your girlfriend is trying to change you. if she can't love you and accept you for who you are, then maybe it's time for a change.
nothing wrong with looking "butch" or masculine. be yourself and dress however you want to dress in order to feel comfortable and to feel good about yourself.
it's always sad when relationships have to come to an end, but i think you wil both be happier if you move on..
hopefully, you can stay friends since you've known each other for so long. but you may need a break first, if she's hurt over the break up.
best of luck!
2006-12-30 13:44:19 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think before breaking up with her you should talk to her about it and let her know that this is the way you are and she needs to accept that. And if she continues to try to change you into what she wants you to be than i think you should break up with her if you don't want to change. Also if she really cares about you than it shouldn't matter how much make up you wear or how you dress. But that is just my opinion. Hope everything works out OK!!!
2006-12-30 13:47:21 · answer #5 · answered by blkbarbie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are that in 10 years you won't have anything in common with her anymore. By the time you are near or in your 30's you will be a totally different person, with different interests, tastes, ect. This is the time in your life when you should be out there checking out different people, dating and looking for the one true love of your life. Obviously she isn't it!
2006-12-30 14:43:07 · answer #6 · answered by pinkrosegreeneyes bluerose 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't' know ... maybe you two a have just grown up and apart. Perhaps you have gone as far you can with her. May I ask is her opposition to you dressing more butch because she's worried that people will know you two are couple???
2006-12-30 13:55:08 · answer #7 · answered by yeah , yeah whatever 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is time to break up with her. If she is trying to change you into being her little femmebot, then she needs to be told in no uncertain terms that this relationship will not work. Break up with her stat and be sure she knows the reason. Life is too short to be with someone who is neurotic, controlling, and weird.
2006-12-30 15:13:45 · answer #8 · answered by dani_kin 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Only you know when it is time to move on, but love does not try to change a person into something they are not. You are young and hate to break it to you, but you will most likely move on sooner or later. Take this time to enjoy yourself and to expeirence life!
2006-12-30 16:33:36 · answer #9 · answered by aimeramy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Eww, forget her. Youre 18! Live it up! Perhaps its time to move on to, like you said, a girl who actually accepts you the way you are. It's too hard to deal with growing up AND dealing with her **** too. You'll have more fun with someone who likes you for you. Dont forget to be who you are.
2006-12-30 14:00:25 · answer #10 · answered by hermosa 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋