please help, im pregnant and...?

Question

hi, um im 17, and my boyfriend is 20. we just started having sex about 2 month ago, and im pregnant, and i know my father and mother will kick me out of our home if i tell him im pregnant, and kick me out of the family. i dont know how to tell my boyfriend im pregnant, and im scared, can i get an abortion with out my parents knowing? please, i dont want an abortion, i want ti to be a last option, but what else can i do? please, help me! i dont need ypu telling me im stupid, i know im stupid, just help me!

my boyfriend already told me that if i ever got pregnant, and he wasnt positive it was his, he wouldnt help until there was proof it was his, and i know it's his b/c i have only had sex with him, and no one else. i dont have enogh money for a DNA test.

christi n, u are an insensitive women.

thank you guys

i know i have to tell my boyfriend, but my dad WILL kick me out. he did it to my sister, i havent seen her fr 3 years. he will kick me out, im so afraid, please help =(

he is a very old fashoned person; a woman is to be a virgin when she marries, and has children when she is married. i know my dad loves me, but if i tell him he will kick me out.

Answer 1

Sounds to me like your dad's anger over certain things, like a daughter getting pregnant, is one of the things that fueled your fire for getting involved in a sexual relationship. You're not the first one to fall into this mistake. I know you're scared. Look up a crisis pregnancy center in your area. Don't have an abortion. You will regret it the rest of your life. These pregnancy centers will offer counseling, will be with you as you tell your parents (they often write letters for you), and can help if you are kicked out. Contact your local churches for help. Many larger churches have support groups that can help you. Visit the link below I've posted for more information on centers near you. I love you and will be praying for you, seriously.
Based on what you told me, your boyfriend does not love you the way you need him to. He used your emotional vulnerability to satisfy his own desires. You need love. God will never kick you out. He accepts you with open arms and will not condemn you. You may have made a mistake (we all screw up, let's face it), but He is forgiving and wants you to follow Him. Seek him and you will find him and have peace no matter what happens to you.

Answer 2

Don't have an abortion hunny especially because you say you want that to be a last option so it sounds like you would regret it for the rest of your life. This happened to my best friend when she was 16. She came from a very religious family and she was scared to tell them, but she made a doctors appointment at her regular doctor and let the doctor tell. It took a little bit of the pressure off of her. Her little boy is going to turn six in January and even though it has been difficult she had made it through. You need to tell the dad you never know he may decide to grow up and be a man and take responsibility for his actions. You've got to tell both your parents and the dad. Since they kicked your sister out you might want to be prepared for that and try to find somewhere to go before you tell them. There should be some kind of place that you could go or maybe another family members house.

Answer 3

I'm so sorry you're in this mess, but it's good that you know you're in a mess! Yes, you can get a confidential abortion, check with Planned Parenthood. Telling a parent is only required in states with mandatory parental involvement laws. But if you don't want an abortion, think about it for a while because once it's done, you can't change your mind. Are you sure you can't tell your parents, not even your mom? Your parents love you and you may be surprised at how understanding they can be if you give them a chance. They will be upset at first, but once everyone cools down a little, you might even be able to put the baby up for adoption with their help. I think you should try telling your boyfriend too, he has a right to know and maybe he'll be more supportive than you think. Otherwise, is there another trusted adult that you can talk to, maybe a teacher, who will support you while you're making your decision? Good luck to you, I'll be thinking of you.

Answer 4

If you do not know how to tell your boyfriend, you and he are obviously not mature enough to be having sex. Did you even have a discussion about what either of you wanted to do if this occurred before having sex? If your boyfriend is 20, and you are under 18, there is a risk that your parents could charge him with rape in some states and he should be smart enough to know that. If it has been recent, unprotected sex, get the Morning After Pill. Otherwise, seek counseling at Planned Parenthood. If you don't want to abort the pregnancy, adoption is always an option. Hopefully your parents will be supportive and loving and you can discuss with them what you want to do, but I really question what this guy is going to do. Is he financially stable enough for you to move out of your house and live with him? Would he be mature enough to handle this responsibility? Do you have an aunt or uncle that can advise you before you talk to your parent? In the future, get on the Pill.

Answer 5

I think that you need to tell your boyfriend and your parents. You say that you don't want to have an abortion and I don't think you should do that if it's not something that you want to do. Or it will become something you will regret for the rest of your life. And what makes you think your father will kick you out of the house and not let you be in the family anymore? I think that you should tell your parents. I'm sure they will be upset at first but I believe that they will come around. I know a lot of girls that have thought their parents would kill them but it never happened. A majority of the time teenagers expect their parents to react worse than they actually do. So just tell them. You shouldn't deal with a pregnancy alone.

Answer 6

First, don't think you are stupid. No one is perfect and we are all entitled to make mistakes. You can't get an abortion alone at 17. You need an adult with you. If you don't want an abortion and you want to have this baby, go ahead and tell your boyfriend. It is going to be hard I know but he has to know. You and him should be the one to go the the crisis pregnancy clinic together as Thomas K said. They can help you decide what your options are. But if your bf is willing to be there and help you take care of the baby, then you should talk to someone in your family that you trust and that will also help you with your child. Also if you want the baby you should be the one to tell your parents. It will hurt them even more hearing it from someone else. They will be mad at first but they will get over it eventually.
Take care of yourself.

Answer 7

Would you consider going to a home for mother's putting their children up for adoption? I believe there are still some around. Also if you are not going to keep the baby approach your parents with that. Say that you made a mistake, and you know it, and you are going to give the baby up for adoption so you can finish growing up before you become a mom. They may be more understanding.

Talk to Planned Parenthood they will know what support there is for pregnant teens in your area, and may have counsellors to help you talk to your parents.

If you do not want to have an abortion, don't do it. You will regret it for the rest of your life.

Answer 8

Fear is your greatest enemy here... I know that your parents have expressed so many things trying to keep you from going astray in their eyes, but you are their daughter, and it is their grandchild you are carrying. My kids did not get into this kind of dilemma as they were growing up, but from what they tell me now it was more luck then anything else. Yes! You know your parents, and none of us do. But there is a precidence set here where most parents dread this happening, but then you go on from there. Deal with this one day at a time. Trying to imagine what will happen days and weeks after your tell them is impossible to predict. I know what you think will happen, but there are so many suicides where the victim had such fear that they could not imagine any other scenario, so they went through with their suicide, only to have us find out that it was the permanent solution to a temporary problem. Even Shakespeare had Romeo and Julliete so fearful and confused they did this rash thing only to find that one had not truly killed herself, but the other had drank the poison already, and it was to late. One thing about Shakespeare is he knew his human nature. Fear will drive you to do so many foolish things. Trust me and take it one day at a time. Worrying is such a waste of time. Nothing has ever changed because it was worried over for a long time. Courage is not the absence of fear, it is functioning well in spite of it. Today is the first day of the rest of your life, and so will tomorrow be that day again and again, because we can only live one day at a time. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is the future (a dream or nightmare as it would be) but today is a gift, that is why they call it "the present." Just let it happen, and I can truly say that it will never be as bad as you thought it would have been. That is one of the Secrets of Life. I see people everyday who worry about the future. What a waste of psychic energy. Just live it one day at a time that is the best anyone can do. Good luck, and enjoy your baby, if you choose that path.

Answer 9

You are not stupid, relax and take a deep breath.
Please try and tell your parents, they would rather know what is going on.
Sure they might get angry for a bit. Tell the one who will take it the best. Make sure you have told your boyfriend first though. He hasa right to know it is his baby too. Do not get it aborted, there are plenty of other options and adults waiting for an opportunity to adopt. I am sorry you feel so desperate, but you now have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Will think of you.
Hope things work out for the best.
Go tell your Boyfriend....Just tell him straight out in private somewhere. Work on this together.

Answer 10

Im 21 and am 6 weeks i thought telling my parents would be a great ordeal i thought they would hate me for sure. turns out that they were expecting this 2-3 years ago when i was 18 or so. put a little more faith in your parents. of course they will be upset. but your baby deserves to live not killed. and you don't want that either has you say. tell them and talk to them about what they think you should do. if they say abortion explain to them that you don't want that. adoption is a better solution.