Do you feel 'let down' by the 'gay scene' - have you become cynical about finding a relationship?

Question

I see the gay scene as a STEPPING STONE to meeting people - not the DESTINATION.

The scene at clubs is youth-obesessed, usually drunk, on drugs and superficial 'my place or yours' chit chat......

Answer 1

I feel let down that there isn't much of a gay scene beyond bars and internet dating. I like bars, but I don't go there to pick people up. And internet dating just freaks me out! With my luck I'd be the one to find the crazy axe murderer.

So oh my goodness yes I'm cynical about finding a relationship. It will Never Happen.

(See? You always have good questions.)

Answer 2

I feel kinda let down by the "gay scene". I am a very relationship-minded type and I feel relationships aren't so much a factor when meeting people and the (terribly sterotypical -- but not so far from reality) superficiality of the "scene" is just so rampant.

I know I spend way too much time on my appearance and don't really get the opportunity to back up anything with actual conversation!

Answer 3

No. I have never looked to the bar scene for a lover, even tho that's where I found mine. It was just a fluke that I met him there. We were so happy for all the years we were together until he died. I don't know if I'll be that happy again, but I know that that will be up to ME!

I think and always have, that the best place to meet a potential mate is through your friends and family. They know you best and through that extended network can potentially help you meet someone.

If that's not acceptable, and you live in a larger city, I suggest you get involved in your local Gay and Lesbian Center. Helping with organizing outings, charity events and other organization events. Not only will you find like minded people, but you won't meet them drinking or while they may be on drugs. So, before you give up, please realize that there are other guys out there just as frustrated as you are about meeting someone! Its just harder to find them! Good luck bro!

Answer 4

I left the 'gay scene' a long time ago to build a relationship. It has so far lasted 20 years. Don't miss the gay scene 1 bit.

Answer 5

Do you feel 'let down' by the 'gay scene'?

No, because I never have expected the gay scene to fufill all my needs. It amazes me when people expect that they can just go to a few bars or parties or rallies and find the love of their life, a perfect political movement, and only wonderful and nice people who will always love us for who we are on the inside. The gay scene doesn't provide those things to people, those are things that you need to work for, find, and create on your own.

Hence I've never become cynical about finding a partner because I've never expected one to fall into my lap. I've met all my partners through mutual friends, activities, and getting to know them. When I was interested, I pursued them. When you depend on the magical gay scene fairies to drop perfect dates from the sky, you just end up alone or on a date with a total nutjob.