What do you suggest?

Question

This guy and I are really good friends. It is very possible that I will progress into more. There areindications that it will. He has informed me that there are times when he would like for me to have his kids. I told him that I felt very honored but would like to be married first. I informed him several times how I felt about him. He has done the same. He completely respects my wishes. He would be the most awsome dad. He is easy to talk to, respectful, and is very understanding. I know that he wants 2 children the same as me. He here is the problem. I am absoutely scared of being pregnant. I am scared of morning sickness and of labor. I don't want to miss a golden oportunity with someone whom I care so much for. What do you suggest?

Answer 1

Don't have children until your ready. They are a big responsiblity. You can never back out of it after you are pregnant. It is a big decision to make. YOu have to be finacially, emotionally, physically able to care for them.

I would get into a relation ship first and see if you can even stand the guy. WOuld that be dumb know you two are freinds but get together and not be able to stand each other...then your stuck because you have kids...

Not fair for you or the kids.

Get with a man you want to marry. Not just some friend.

Answer 2

First get serious, and then get married. Find out if he's so compatible and fun and appealing first thing in the morning, or when the dishes need doing and the garbage needs to go out.

If you were made for each other, then waiting 2 or 5 years for the "kids" thing will be worth the wait. It would be pretty stupid to jump straight into it and then find out you aren't compatible once a kid is on the way.

If you're scared of having kids - well, you're pretty much ruling out a serious relationship with half the guys out there, and divorce from a whole bunch more who decide later they want kids, or thought they could change your mind.

Speaking as a guy, I can't say much about the physical side of pregnancy. I've heard every story from "It was awful" to "It was amazing!" If you consider everyone you see when you walk down the street came into this world the same way, it can't be that bad, can it? Worst case, it's a few months of nausea and a half-day or so of pain, that can be taken care of with drugs if you want.

Life is your decision. Good luck.

Answer 3

Be married first. That is the natural order of things. How can you be really sure of his committment (or yours) if you do not marry for life? Besides that, it's easier on your kids not to have to explain your unmarried relationship to inquisitive kids in their class. No matter how "normal" it may be becoming, kids are cruel, and they do talk and tease and ostracize.
As far as being pregnant and going through labor...morning sickness wasn't that bad for me. Many people never get sick at all, some only minimally. In my three pregnancies COMBINED, I think I only threw up four times total. Not so bad. I loved being pregnant and miss it very much. Labor? No big deal. Even after the painful first time I was willing to do it twice more. I wasn't scared because I knew it was temporary and the epidural made it a snap.
Sounds like a great guy!

Answer 4

First off, you should marry your best friend. Sounds like you are off to a good start. Having children with the person you love the most will help off set all of the negative things that can come with pregnancy. I do suggest you wait until you have been married a couple of years, so that you two can build a strong marriage, before you add children. Just remember that a pregnancy only last for 9 mos. and usually you don't have morning sickness the whole time ( I didn't even have it) and the labor it's self is only a couple hours when compared to a life time of happiness you will share with your new family.

Answer 5

hun relax it's not like you're going to get pregnant tomorrow right? You'll be ready when the time comes! Every pregnancy is different my first I had no morning sickness, no real pain, and contractions were just a little bit more harsher than my menstrual cramps were.

This time round I had some morning sickness and nausea, and I hate puking!! Trust me there is nothing to be worried about!


Make your relationship with this guy work and last first!

Answer 6

Inform yourself. Buy those pregnancy books and parenting books. These will help disspell any myths you are seeing as truths. I was scared too. Then I got pregnant. I read everything I could. Once I knew more about it I was completely at ease and was able to enjoy the most wonderous thing that a woman could ever experience. It was amazing. As for the guy, he probably has some reservations of his own. Sit down with him and talk about it, this should help put you at ease as well. Good luck!

Answer 7

It's perfectly normal to be scared. But not all women have morning sickness. I never did with my son. And you also needn't worry about the labor. If your scared of the pain, there are many types of pain relievers that they can give you to ease it. But what you want to do with your relationship is totally up to you and your significant other. Do what you think is best, and you'll know when your ready to have a baby. Good luck.

Answer 8

It is normal to feel this way, just wait until you are married if that is your desire, do not let him pressure you, but when you know the time is right share with him your feelings. That is what an open and honest relationship is. Then when you are pregnant make sure you let your OB know your fears. It really is not as bad as you imagine, otherwise people would never have more than one.
Good luck and hope you have kids someday.

Answer 9

Make sure you want to marry this guy first ..then make sure you and him are ready to have kids....I would hate for you to jump into this and then after having a baby realizes that you don`t care about each other like you thought you did..

Answer 10

first worry about getting a relationship goihg. your worries of being pregnant will go away when you are ready to take that step but it sounds like you're struggling with the first step.
as a side note, being pregnant is a unique experience for every woman. for me, it was a breeze and I've never felt more confident and proud of my self/body.