Every Christmas, my kids are supposed to visit their Grandmother, but every year it turns into a big argument because my husband tells them that its not gonna kill them to visit her once a year. Theyre teenagers and this year they refused to go. Am I wrong for not forcing them? Also, shes a very insulting grandmother.
2006-12-30 12:34:24 · 14 answers · asked by =) 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Invite her over to your house. That way the teens can be in their comfort zone and can go to their rooms when grandma gets insulting. That way YOU have a little more control over what goes on. An hour or two won't hurt your teens. Tell them they will meet difficult people throughout their entire lives. This gives them good practice on being patient.
2006-12-30 12:39:27 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
By the time they are teenagers, they have the right to choose who they see and who they don't. If you say that she is very insulting then I don't blame them for not wanting to see her! Just make sure that you explain to them that if they are refusing without good reason that their grandmother won't always be around and not to do anything that they are going to regret in the long run. As long as they are making an informed decision, I say stick by your kids and so should your husband!
2006-12-30 20:40:10 · answer #2 · answered by answergrrl3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
While family is important especially at Christmas, but it is not worth the stress and angst if you have to visit someone who is cruel, insulting or belittling, to you or your teens. Your teens do have right in saying they have no wish to see her, and there thoughts and feelings should be taken into consideration.
So no you are correct in not forcing them to visit her. Maybe they could send her a card or talk to her over the phone next Christmas, so they are a lest acknowledging her.
Your teens will be glad you listened to them, and you supported them in their decision. I would rather a happy house rather than a belligerent teenager ragging at me.
I empathise with you, as my daughters boyfriends mother is rather a nasty woman, and sadly her own children try their best to avoid her as much as possible. This woman tells her grandchildren that they are dumb, and play her children and grandchildren off against each other. (not my grandchildren or I would have ripped her head off) my daughter and her boyfriend have no children yet.
Sadly they have said that if they ever do have children, they would organise supervised access for his mother. I think this is very sad, but it is my daughters and boyfriends choice, and having had contact with this woman I can only support them in there decisions. So you can imagine how nasty this woman can be.
Good luck and hope you have a Happy New Year.
2006-12-30 21:44:29 · answer #3 · answered by reka_poti 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband is right, once a year. As for as Grandmother being insulting, she is old, forgive and forget it. when teenagers get to busy to not take one time a year to visit their grandparents, makes me wonder who all has been talking about grandmother, influencing them into thinking, the old lady is not worth the time. Bet if she had some bucks to leave them when she dies, they would be doing kiss up all year long.
2006-12-30 20:43:56 · answer #4 · answered by m c 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the grandmother just insults your teens and emotionally abuses them, what motivation would they have to spend a holiday that is supposed to be happy with her? If this grandmother *wants* to see the kids, she should act like it. Until then, I see no reason to force the teens to visit her.
2006-12-30 20:39:43 · answer #5 · answered by jamie p 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There Teens And Not Suppose To Be Forsed If They Were Kids You Will Have To Force Them But There Teens Let Them Do What They Want To Do
2006-12-30 20:40:52 · answer #6 · answered by elizabeth m 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think they should be forced. Even if they went it probably wouldn't have been much fun if they were in bad moods. If she is insulting maybe she should think about what she says and maybe somebody needs to have a talk with her about why she only sees the kids once a year.
2006-12-30 21:26:12 · answer #7 · answered by hypnotic_wht_grl_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you should force them to be around people they don't want to be at their age, my great grandmother was like that and I was forced to see her and every time I did she would insult my brother and I, I ended up resenting my dad and mom a bit for making me go.
2006-12-30 20:42:00 · answer #8 · answered by W2D 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is it not unusual that u and ur family do not visit her more frequently and want it only on Christmas. Forcing does not help but pursuasion does help and is not bad. U can offer them some thing in return.
2006-12-30 20:39:03 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
As teens they have a choice...if this is a court issue then by the age of 13 the child has the right to choose...So no they do not have to go...see a lawyer if you need to, anyways these are your children and you know what is best!!!!
2006-12-30 20:40:53 · answer #10 · answered by kat 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋