How would you tell your children that their mother accidently ran over their cat?

Question

Or would it be better to pretend the cat ran away, and just get them a new one? (The kids are both six years old, and have never had an experience with death.)

Answer 1

There are two ways of doing this:

POINT BLANK

and

PRACTICAL

Point blank: serve it for dinner and when they ask what happened to it tell them they ate it.

Practical: Tell them gently and tell them that death happens. its important taht they begin learning that life is just a slow way of dying really (dont tell them about it being a slow way of dying). So tell them waht happened honestly and then ask them w\how they feel what they want to do about it, etc. involve them. don't lie to them. one day they will find out... and it won't be cool at all...

Answer 2

Death is hard for little ones, but if treated with love, they can deal with it.

This is what I'd tell my child if I did that to their cat, or ran over some other child's cat.

I have something very sad that I need to tell you. I accidently ran over our cat today. I feel so sad. It was an accident. He's gone to Heaven.

Then realize the kids will cry and all you can do is support them and love them. Let them say what they have to say. Later, ask if they'd like to talk about how much they loved the cat and share some good memories of their cat.

Realize it will take them days to come to terms with the initial shock of it. They may be more moody, so be patient, while not allowing it to be an excuse for bad behaviors.

They'll ask several times why it had to happen and all you can do is remind them, it was an accident, you just didn't see the cat. Let them see you cry if you cry, so they can see you too are sad about what happened.

Don't try to replace the cat right away; you can't replace a loved animal and make it all better with a new one. Give it a couple months, then ask them if they'd like to find another cat to love and care for.

I FEEL SAD FOR THEM ALREADY

Answer 3

I am with those who say to tell the kids the truth. It will be hard on them, especially if they are close to the cat. But in the end it will be better.

If you tell them that the cat ran away, they may spend the next several years looking for it, possibly even mistaking a stray for their cat and getting hurt.

Start by telling them that there was an accident. ((cat's name)) accidently walked behind/in front of a moving car. The car tried to stop, but there wasn't time. Everybody will miss him/her, but he/she is in a place where he/she will never get hurt again. Then tell them that in a few weeks y'all can go adopt another cat. Use your own judgement on whether or not to let them know that their mother was the one behind the wheel. That might be a bit much for them to comprehend. It shouldn't hurt to let them think that it was an unknown stranger. And make sure that they know the person who did it is sorry and wishes that it hadn't happen, but there was nothing they could do.

You may want to consider letting the new cat be indoors. Many cats are perfectly happy in a house, but I know that some have the urge to roam outside and sometimes personal situations prevent you from having a pet in the house. I had 2 cats before. They were very happy indoors, but when I moved to a house that didn't allow cats inside one of them developed health problems and I had to give them away.

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We were staying with my grandfather last year when my daughter was 3. He had a cat that we were both very attatched to. He was old and sick and Papa had to take him to be put to sleep. I was honest with my daughter and let her see him right before he was burried to say goodbye. It was hard. She spent a week wanting to dig him up because she thought he would get scared or lonely. But in the end, I still feel that she was better off knowing the truth. And now, at age 4, she seems to have a better concept of death because of it.

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Telling your kids that the cat is dead may lead to a talk about life and death and what they mean. Be prepared to answer their questions. Make sure that they know it is ok to ask anything that is on their minds. Give them the facts. Don't overwhelm them, just answer their questions and try to do it in a comforting way. The cat is dead. It will not be coming back. It is not hurt or scared, death is just a peaceful form of sleep. Or the kitty is in heaven, depending on your family's beliefs.

Don't worry. Y'all will make it through this. Honestly is the best policy, just stay on their level. I wish them and y'all as easy of a time as possible getting through this.

Answer 4

Ooo, that's a tricky one. I don't know if this is the right answer, but it would be mine.

I would say that the cat did get run over, but by unknown persons. I would explain death as best as I can as a natural thing that happens to people and animals. Then I wouldn't go so far as to explain about their or your mortality, unless it comes up. It's a delicate situation, that's for sure.

Oh, and I'm not so sure about replacing their cat quite so soon. Kinda suggests that life is replacable. But really, leave your wife out of the equation, because your kids are going to remember that forever. It'll be a white lie, but I think a better truth than the truth. Good luck.

Answer 5

I would be honest with them about the cat passing away but I wouldn't go into any details on how it happened exactly. I think at 6 yrs old the death itself is enough for them to deal with. I would tell them that the cat is in heaven and then explain what a great place it is and that they are not in any pain etc.

I would let the kids be involved in when to get a new one by their reaction. When everyone in the family is "ready" to have another pet then you could all go and pick out a new one.

So sorry for your loss. I lost two cats in 2006 (April and September) and I still miss them so much that I am not ready yet to get another one.

Answer 6

As much as it would suck to do it, you have to tell the kids the truth. Yes, they will cry and be hurt, and mom will feel even worse, but you know what? In the long run it will be better, everyone needs to experience death sooner or later, and no matter what age you are, it's never fun.

Plus, if you just tell them "Oh, Fluffy must have run away", then in their little minds, they will always be holding some shred of hope that one day the cat will return. I don't think it's fair to lead them on like that.

Answer 7

just tell them the cat didn't like you and ask for some where else to live so you got a new cat you must make it that you are the bad one you killed their cat you know.
No sorry that is going to be a hard one at six they like to ask questions just tell them you got this one because it needs their love more so the old cat ask you to take the new baby and he Will go away he know what love is now it worked for me once only down fall is the really loved him he had n bath every day and was brushed twice a day and end up with a skin problem so it was time to get a new one who need their love again.

Answer 8

You can tell them the cat got hit by a car and have the 'death' conversation now. Or you can tell them the cat ran away and wait 'til next time to address that large issue. I see NO reason to tell them their mom was the one driving the car.

Answer 9

Sorry to hear about your cat. Be honest with them, but age appropiately. I would tell them that the cat was run over by a car, but would probably leave out that their mom did it. We told our daughters that our dog ran away when they were small and years later they were still talking about him, and what kind of family he must have, when they found out the truth That the dog had to be put down they were devistated al over again, AND angry at us for lying to them.

Answer 10

I would explain that there was an accident but I definitely would not tell them that I was the one. I wouldn't lie either but I wouldn't take responsibility. That could traumatize the more than the death of the cat

Answer 11

I would eiter say that the cat got hit by A car (not their mothers car) or I would tell them that the cat ran away .... i would make posters to put over town to find the "missing" cat to make the kids feel better