what can i do my life is in jeopardy?!!!!!!?

Question

my husband moved me down to north carolina from new york,i am totally out of my element i thought it would be a good move but ever since we are here he does nothing but mentally abuse me and sometimes it gets physical.we bought a beautiful house together and now he threatens to take it from me.i wouldnt mind but my dog that i lost last year isburied in the backyard i loved her and had her for 11 years and he knows that it would kill me if we sold the house i just want him to leave but he wont he says i am just a coowner and hes going to sell it and he says hell sell my dogs resting area along with it.i really did try to put up with him and tried to make it work but i cant take it anymore and he knows this is killing me i just wish hed go and leave me alone please if there s anyone out there that can help me please what can i do? i know if he left i'd get 2 jobs to take care of myself and i know i can do it i dont need him and i dont need this abuse

Answer 1

I'm sorry to hear about your problem and I wanted to know that you aren't the only one out there. There are couple of things I can recommend. My ex husband moved me from NY to OH and became very abusive. i came to realize my marriage and everything I truly loved and enjoy wasn't worth it. My life, future, and happiness needed to come first. So I got a job and left what we had behind and moved on. (I did get most of it back in the divorce) You can move out, get an apartment, and file for separation or divorce either way your assets that you have together will be seize (the court will take control until preceedings are over) and he wouldn't be able to sell them. Then you could fight for the house in the divorce. Or (I know this might be gross but it's an option and I have heard of people doing it.) Hire someone to extracted the remains and have him created. So crematories provide this service. This way he is always with you know matter what. All I know and have learn from experience is no man is worth my unhappiness. This is my life and I want to die knowing that I was truly happy. If that means working hard and making hard decisions, then that's what I did. Good luck to you and remember you deserve much better then that.

Answer 2

It's time for a divorce -- do it now while you still have no children and can hold 2 jobs. You might also consider a restraining order if the abuse ever gets physical (mental abuse isn't quite sufficient)

As for your dog, as gruesome as it sounds, you may be able to have someone dig up his coffin, and move it with you. Or consider cremation so you can always have him with you. Selling the house seems inevitable. People's graves, let alone dog's graves, won't stop someone from getting a house sold.

Answer 3

Has your marital life been good before you moved to North Carolina? If yes, then the problem is not really your husband but its root may be found in life pressure, too many bills to pay, not enough money floating around. Money problems can cause the best marriage to deteriorate. I do not know the law in North Carolina but I am pretty sure that you have 50% in the house. Let him sell and you get half of everything you both own in common.

Answer 4

I feel you. I moved from New Yok to memphis with my "babydaddy" I thought that it would be great to start this new life with him. His family lives here mine was in New York. I stayed with him for about 5 years. He bought a a house but since we aren't married he owned the house. Once he bought the house he changed so much.He verbally and mentally abused me. He terrorized me because he knew that ! I was really into apperarances. As long as things looked good on the outside I could deal with it. I also thought I was doing the right things for my kids. I was so miserable for 5 years. My father passed away from Cancer and I began to realize that life was too short for me to give away the joy that I was meant to have. I moved out and lived in apt for a year. I was blessed to rent a house for me and my kids after the first year. It was the best move in my life. Once I got out of his house I went through a whole process of discovering who I was It was scary and exciting at the same time. I have a really strong relationship with my 3 children. We got really close. I was so free. I spent 4 years single. Last year I met a really wonderful man. He and I just closed on a house this month. I guess I do not have any advice only a similar story to tell and some encouragement. Your life is not in jeopardy the unhappiness that you feel is telling you that you know you deserve happiness. By the way I am sorry to hear about your dog of 11 years that combined with your move to NC is a lot all at one time. You have a right to grieve. You also have legal rights to the house if you are married. Good luck honey.

Answer 5

I'm sorry that your dog is gone but you will need to get some help and make changes or your marriage will be gone too. for many people a dog is a great source of unconditional love and you most likely crave that so that is why you miss the dog so much. get some counseling on your marriage. the deal is you are to be experiencing love in your marriage and it doesn't sound like you do now

Answer 6

You've been abused, yet you are worried about a dead dog? I don't understand. The dog is gone. I'm sorry, but he is. Its over. You will end up in the ground too if you don't get out. Who cares if he sells the house, takes the dog, etc...... see my point? Its stuff. Go, get somewhere safe and be done with it.

Answer 7

This is north carolina we are talking about, you can easily buy him out of his half of the house. Get a lawyer, your husband will have to pay for your lawyer and his in the event of a divorce. He can not abuse you!

Answer 8

you have a husband who is physically and mentally abusing you and you are torn about your dog that is buried in a backyard. dig the dog up and put him some where else, that way you can move on with your life you must have pictures of him that way he'll be with you always.. and get some help.

Answer 9

If you're really in physical danger, get away from him at all costs. You need to find out what your legal rights are as well. Call a lawyer, or look into Legal Aid if you can't afford one.

I know, it's easy for me to say these things, but I speak from experience. Bullies like him will feed you any line that you'll believe, and they don't mind lying if it will get them what they want.

Take care.

Answer 10

Can't you just pack up when he is gone or is he there all the time? I think you would have a hard time getting him out of the house and you are more important than the house. If you name is on the house, you should get something when it sells.