We got married 3 months ago after dating for 1 year. I have two sons and he has one daughter. My husband works as a security guard throughout the week and every other weekend. The 2 weekends he is off a month- he has his visitation with his daughter. These are also the weekends that my children are gone visiting with their father. I am feeling resentful that we don't have those weekends alone. My kids are gone and I want us to be alone. I don't want his daughter over on the only 4 days off together. There is no other time for her to come over as the court system allows every other weekend. I love my husband and want to spend time with him. His daughter is spoiled and whiny and wants to talk constantly and cuddle with her father. I end up feeling like a third wheel. I am beginning to feel like I made a mistake in marrying him. Incidently, before we married, his daughter would go over to her friends house on the weekends and not come over so much. Please advise.
2006-12-30 12:00:04 · 14 answers · asked by mscpa1999 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I was going to ask about before you got married, where did she stay, but now I see. ALL this has changed since you got married. If I were you, I would be patient. She'll get tired of this routine, and you and hubby can have your weekends together. It will be nerve-wracking until then, but just make the best of it. Good Luck!!
2006-12-30 12:06:14 · answer #1 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Besides sounding jealous of your husbands daughter who you knew would be spending every other weekend at your house, have you considered changing the weekend so that your children are gone and she is home with her mother and the two of you can be alone? What does your husband have to say about being able to spend time alone with his new wife?
2006-12-30 13:11:58 · answer #2 · answered by Special K 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. I have to admit, but it sounds as if you're the one that's whining, in addition to his daughter.
You're the adult. You have to expect a child to grow needy when a parent remarries. You need to give it time and realize that you can't be selfish.
It isn't her fault that the schedule worked out the way it did, stop blaming her.
Have you even mentioned any of this to your husband, or are you holding it all in? You need to talk to him; talk to him as a full grown woman talks to the man she loves. Don't sound like you're being put out or that the situation is wrong. The situation is the situation, nothing can change that. What you need to work out together is how you can change your approach to the situation together so you both feel happy in your marriage.
If you continue acting as if the daughter is a burden on your marriage, how will he feel about your sons? How will he feel about you? If you don't want your husband to think it was HE who made the mistake, you need to approach this logically, and not emotionally. And, you need to do it together.
2006-12-30 12:11:22 · answer #3 · answered by nw_big_skies 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wow, you sound more selfish and bratty than the daughter that your talking about. Thats really mean. You are the adult. If you truly lovehim then you would love his dughter as your daughter, and you would want her to be all she can be, which means having her father in her life to help mold her. Did you have to grow up with no dad? It's not fun. Why dont you imaginr that he is the one with the exact same question, but only about you sons...pretty sad huh? Maybe you should try loving/ bonding with his daughter now. She needs him more than you.
2006-12-30 12:13:08 · answer #4 · answered by shaquifa 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Quit being childish. You knew he had a daughter before you married him. What did you expect him to do, just quit having contact with her once you married him? What if it was reversed, would you push your kids off to spend time alone with him even though it was the only time available to see your kids?
This is why the divorce rates are so high now, because people are stupid.
2006-12-30 12:04:56 · answer #5 · answered by User103443 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You are being extremely selfish!!!!! How would you like if your sons had a nasty stepmother like you who resented having your sons over on HER weekends with your ex? You expect your husband to accept your sons, yet you wont accept his daughter? Just get a divorce and if you are so selfish just date men, dont marry them.
2006-12-30 12:58:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-11 19:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change your sons weekends with their father to coincide with the daughters weekend visits. You and your husband should have time alone.
2006-12-30 12:03:24 · answer #8 · answered by NAN G 6 · 3⤊ 1⤋
grin and bare it or get out but dont try to come between him and his daughter because speaking as a father u will lose you can only come out looking bad ... you should understand and try to become part of there group it may surprise you if u let the jealosy go you might end up looking forward to those weekends
2006-12-30 12:10:27 · answer #9 · answered by smokey04924 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
this is called sacrificing for the relationship it goes along with your marriage vows, maybe be an adult and talk to your husband instead of asking the nuts on line for advice...
maybe if your husband is a real man he will talk to his ex and if they're adults (which I doubt) maybe they can free up a weekend so you can spend time with a guy you married after knowing him for a year.
2006-12-30 12:06:56 · answer #10 · answered by bubbles 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋