Could somebody critique this essay for me please?

Question

We are working on writing essays in English class. The topic is: Describe an encounter that demonstrated the importance of diversity to you.

Here is the essay:

The wind rushed past me and the smell of falafel floated up to the heavens. The brightly lit stores beckoned to us with hearty tunes and offers of the lowest prices of the season. The sounds of laughter tinkled like glass in the air. No, this was no another weekend spent in New York City as many my assume. In fact, this was one of the many days spent on the Boardwalk in Alexandria, Egypt.
My trip to Egypt for a second summer was an experience unlike any other. The customs there are very different from those of Americans. For instance, when my family and I would visit my aunt, it was a natural, if not necessary, thing to kiss her on both cheeks. The affections Egyptians show towards each other differs from the stand-offish manner between, for example, parents and teenage children. Here in America, very few teenagers would rather be locked up in detention with their most hated teacher than be caught dead kissing their parents on the cheek. This is proof that family values are emphasized more in some cultures than they are in others.
In addition to learning about different family values, I learned about social dos and don’ts. For instance, in Egypt a girl that had a conversation with any guy that was not a relative was frowned upon. In contrast, here in America if a girl was seen talking to a guy, it would be completely normal. Now although humans are adaptable to different environments, it took me quite a while to adjust to this social policy. Even when I did attempt to abide by this social guideline, I found it almost impossible because it was just more natural for me to just talk to guys. Of course, one slip of the tongue and I was seen as a wayward girl. As challenging as it was, in due course I learned to bite my tongue and receive the respected glances of adults and peers.
Finally, even something as important as education differs in Egypt than it does in America. For instance, high school lasts for only three years in Egypt. Now although that may sound like a dream come true to many American students, it is a nightmare for students in Egypt. High school becomes more competitive than it does here and the students feel the pressure from parents, teachers, and society. They scramble for high grades in three short years and pray that their hard work will pay off in the end. Unlike here in America, their grades in high school are the one thing they can rely on to get them into colleges.
This experience definitely opened my eyes to worldwide cultures. To think that I would have grown up in such a fascinating culture made my trip to Egypt all that more worthwhile. Gaining knowledge of the customs, social mannerisms, and even education was just an added bonus to this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. Such an experience helped me develop individually by opening my eyes to the varied ethnicities of the world. This is part of the reason I am anxious to delve into college and embrace the diverse individuals I will meet.

Answer 1

The essay is truly good but you should simple words in some places which would make the readers more comfortable. e.g. unruly instead of wayward, indicate > beckon; explore> delve.
Moreover you have not described anything on Geography of Egypt and the Pyramids.

There are some minor grammatical mistakes and missing words and punctuations, check and correct that also. Good Luck

Answer 2

Ne-ne.....

I thought that your essay was BEAUTIFUL

It came from your heart

Your experience in Egypt will make you a better person in college as well as in life.....Thank you for sharing your essay with me....It forced me to think about our culture in America in comparison to other cultures and how we must strive to be better in a very competitive World.....This is a very touching essay!

Good luck on your Quest for answers!

Answer 3

check spelling, punctuation
some shorter sentences
It sounds a little formal (reference book)
would read easier like a (simple)short story
I found it informative and I enjoyed it. B+

Answer 4

First paragraph: "...this was no another..." change no to not

Is this an essay for a class? Is it supposed to be cited/referenced?