He wanted me to have an abortion when I got pregnant. We fought alot, now our baby is here and he tries to play super dad now. He has two other boys that live with their mother. I feel he knows how important my baby is to me and will try to take him if I try to leave him to keep from paying child support or from looking bad or whatever. He's not the best father, he spoke about dropping parental rights before with his other two then changed his mind. Do you htink I'll have a hard time with him?
2006-12-30 11:48:17 · 29 answers · asked by Skypride 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Hire a lawyer and strike the first blow
2006-12-30 11:50:47 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Please, you need to end this destructive relationship as soon as possible. It might get a little messy, but from your letter, in your heart you know it is the right thing to do. He never wanted the baby, but now he realizes the responsibility will either cost him money, or he can use the child as a psychological weapon to hurt you and get his way. What a jerk! I know it will be scary to be a single mom, but girl, think about it. He sounds like a player. If you already see him as a poor father figure, why stay with him and perhaps have more children? You could have a whole houseful of kids, and then be trying to leave, so please, leave before things get to that stage. If you think he is a bad father, you can put that down on court documents, just as protection for you. You can also get a restraining order to back up your opinion. The law, to get it to work for you, has to have documentation for everything, you know evidence, or they can't move forward. That's what many people don't understand about the legal system. The frustrating thing about the legal system is that it's not about what's right or wrong, it's all a big blood-sport arena, about what can be proved or documented in court. Good luck getting on with your life, loving on your baby, and finding someone in the future who will respect both you and your child and not be a total player. He better pay you support too.
2006-12-30 19:58:15 · answer #2 · answered by Genius Squirrel 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The fact that he wanted you to have an abortion when you got pregnant is irrelevant. And for the record, I’ve known men that have requested their girlfriend have an abortion, but then once the child was born they fell completely in love with it. All that matters is how Dad has treated the child since it’s been born.
And the fact that he may have casually mentioned terminating parental rights of his other children means nothing. All that matters is that he did not do it.
This case will be handled like every other child custody case. The court will look at many things, such as: the mental and physical well-being of each parent, parental drug or alcohol problems, the role of each parent so far in taking care of the child (who has been the primary caregiver), the child's relationship to each parent, *the willingness of each parent to keep the other parent involved in the child's life*, etc.
2006-12-30 22:57:33 · answer #3 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd get a good attorney, one that's tough. I'd seek joint custody, with reasonable child-support. Follow the divorce decree to the letter and don't agitate the ex or you could have major problems.
Don't get nasty with the ex, it will only serve to cause you more bitterness and anger in the future.
Sometimes ex's really get carried away fighting after a divorce. Some end up dead because the other ex get's fed up, so try to have an amicable divorce and work together like adults should.
2006-12-30 20:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are two roads this situation could go.
One the two of you could fight over custody and let me tell you that battle is never easy on either side.
Your entire life is laid out before the court to study who is the more suitable parents. I know this cause my step-father had to gain custody of his son.
Or the second route would be to speak with him and talk about joint custody, that way your child will not suffer from having to choose between on parent or the other.
I have had to and it is not something a child should go through.
So think about the situation before you make your decision, and chose what will be best for you and your child.
Good Luck.
2006-12-30 20:00:07 · answer #5 · answered by Engel 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Yes. Just make it sound like it was HIS idea to give YOU custody. Make him feel like he has the power in the decision. No influence is better than a bad influence. Custody or child support? Dont know. Get an attorney from friend of the court and have your husband sign away his rights but you won't get support.
2006-12-30 20:02:18 · answer #6 · answered by WDS 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Yes you could. Even if he was great your wanting to divorce him may PO him off and get him territorial. Start saving money. Continue researching on how to prevent that. Also sole physical custody (child lives with you ) and joint legal (he can participate in decisions about the child. Word how YOU want things to be concerning visitations based on child's age, husband's lifestyle. I would offer to be as generous as possible then if he acts stupid back off a bit @ a time. Also consult lawyer. Some do not charge fee till hired....good luck
2006-12-30 19:53:41 · answer #7 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
First of all, find yourself a good attorney in the phonebook and start making calls. It cost nothing to call. I have talked to many lawyers on the phone. The attorney I went to for a divorce told me that children always go with their mothers.After the age of 11 children can make their own decisions about where they want to live.It also depends on the state that you are living in. I live in GA. Your husband sounds like he is very intimidating.Men will say anything and we will believe it.I know. My first husband was like that.
2006-12-30 20:09:02 · answer #8 · answered by Nancy M. 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
i would think yes if hes attached to you and no if hes not. most of the time it has nothing to do with the kids. file and claim you don't know where he is. give his last known address for out of state. then run the required add in the paper in that state. when he doesn't reply they will grant you your divorce on default. hell you could stay living with him forever and he wouldn't even know you were divorced. lol. don't listen to me I'm just a pissed off girl who's been through one to many custody cases because of dumb *** men that cant let go.
2006-12-30 19:56:10 · answer #9 · answered by mdlrtam 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
No, just make sure you get a good attorney who has handled divorce cases before. Maybe you can get alimony and child support from him. I say take him to the bank. I'm so glad you didn't have the abortion. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-30 19:54:16 · answer #10 · answered by cajunrescuemedic 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Unless you're an unfit Mother, which I don't think you are, he will have a hard time convincing a judge to take your child away from you. Don't get me wrong, he will threaten you with that thought, as a "scare tactic", but the reality of it happening are slim. I'm not a lawyer, but it's highly unlikely. I think he will use this, to keep you there....... Don't be his "subject" anymore! Talk to a lawyer!
2006-12-30 19:55:51 · answer #11 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 2⤋