What is worse?

Question

To be ill and with your family or physically fit and carry the pain of an ex hubby who got rid of you to marry someone else?

U ppl keep on saying, hahaha,move on, show him you are happy, you are this, you are that. Since my divorce, I have come across a lot of divorced ppl. They all say the same thing but still with a lot of pain. They are nothing but clowns on a circus, trying to show they are better off but still crying inside.

I would much rather be ill wtih my familyeven if, for a short time and then die.

Answer 1

You will get over it it hurts like hell but you will.Your making the choice to think about them.You also have the choice not to.When u dwell on it it snowballs on you and in your own mind your creating misery for yourself. You are in pain but it will fade.It sucks Ive been there.You are alive you will survive.

Answer 2

Well I have never been married or had the whole family thing so I can't say how I would feel to lose that. But I have always wanted it and been used and abused along the way and that hurts pretty bad so I can imagine how you must be feeling.

I've longed to have children and a proper family for a long time and if I ever got it I don't think I would want to give it up. No matter what. I think losing the family you love and have always wanted would be a hell of a lot harder than coming to terms with being ill. Although it is a very tough question to answer.

Bottom line is if I ever get the chance then my family would be everything to me.

Answer 3

Being physically ill is worse, Being physically fit and carrying the pain will also make you emotionally ill over time.

Please try to get over the ex, he's not worth it. I know what you are feeling i've been there and experienced the same thing.

If you can't find a way to rid yourself of these painful feelings, please seek the assistance of a counselor, close friend, or clergy or family member.

Once you over come the pain, You'll find new life and freedoms you never thought possible. I always say

Life is an Adventure, Live it and be happy.

Answer 4

Both. Many illnesses cause immense suffering, both to the person and to those around them, even if the family remains, if a person is constantly sick this destroys quality of life.

Being healthy and having a husband leave you for someone else, is gut wrenching, heart breaking and devastating. How can I compare both these situations? Very difficult.

You ought to pray for your husband and yourself and for God to restore him to you. Nothing is impossible for God, as far as God is concerned, you are still married to Him. Divorce doesn't figure into God's law. Once you marry and it's a valid marriage, it's for good. He is not your ex husband, you're still married.

But there are many circumstances that one cannot judge unless they are God and I do not know yours, nor could I judge. Pray and be patient. Things can take a few years sometimes before you receive an answer.

I would get on with your life as much as you can and do not live your life around whether he will return or not, that's God's issue now. Your pain in the meantime is totally understandable and I hope that you can nuture yourself through this and not despair too much. It's happening all the time now, all around us, it's rampant.

God bless you and try not to despair too much. Don't give up.

Answer 5

You are in a very unhealthy place if you honestly feel death would be a fair trade-off for a short term relationship with someone who doesn't love you.

I know it can be a hard time of year to be alone, but you have to step back and put this in perspective. You obviously haven't moved on, and you don't say how long it has been but nothing is more important that your health, and I have very serious concerns about your current mental health, and I really think you need to seek professional help.

Answer 6

It hurts to be dumped. Divorce is a tough situation for everyone involved. I guess I would chose ill with my family. But, if the divorce has already happened to you, then why the question? You have no choice here but to deal with your divorce.

It does sometimes take years to deal with the trauma, but it is necessary to deal with it. You must get involved at your church, job or school and pretty soon you will be able to go a few days at a time without thinking of him. Then you will go a month without thinking of him, and soon you will be where I am, a year can go by without missing him.

Answer 7

I've experienced a lot of emotional pain in my life and I've always thought that people could be mistaken since maybe it's worse than physical pain. Having not experienced the latter-thank God for that-I can't have an opinion on the matter.

Answer 8

To be ill and with your family - because an ex hubby is replaceable, no matter how painful the separation, but your health isn't. You just have to open your heart to other possibilities.

Answer 9

I can understand your pain and humiliation. sounds like you still love your husband. give it time and things will get better i promise.you will get over your husband in time and you will find someone better, someone that truely loves you. but really, believe me when i tell you that you are better off in good health. your health is very, very important to you. i know its easy for me to say but i do understand you and what you are going through. The pain of losing someone you love to someone else is very painful. my heart goes out to you. but please don't wish ill health rather than your ex leaving you.

Answer 10

Your question doesn't really make any sense. Why choose to be ill?

And if your husband got rid of you, then where's the choice to be anything other than a single woman moving on?

Your life is what you make it...make it the best you can...don't let someone else's decision to end a relationship with you, ruin your life...

Living well is the best revenge...and it's pretty darned good for you too!