i need feedback on my writing!?

Question

Politics, Power & Energy

In the early 19th century powered machines such as boats and trains were powered by charcoal energy. Later, after petroleum had been discovered, it was used a wider source of energy. Since that time, petrol has become a symbol of power and wealth. This gave the Western nations a motivation to occupy oil-rich countries in the Middle East and North Africa to obtain more energy for their growing industries.

After a while and under the population’s resistance to occupation, the occupants were forced to retrieve. But they left corrupted governments, on small states that they divided, to rule on their behalf and to look after their interests. Until now, those governments have western support and protection.

One example of this political power play occurred when the president of Libya Colonel Kadafi wanted to by-pass the western’s control, he was considered the number one enemy, and was looked apon as a terrorist. But when Kadafi changed his international policies, all of the western countries ran to get petroleum contracts. This included Paul Martine; when he was leader of Canada, he visited Libya for the same purpose. Regardless of the facts that Kadafi was and is a human rights abuser and a killer of his own population. No one cares since he builds bridges to drain his country’s minerals to boast the western industry and economy.

Another example is when the Bush administration took advantage of the 9/11 tragedy to take over the world economically. As a superpower to threaten the rest of the world to either to “be with or against” the U.S.A. Because of its superior power, no country could stand up against the U.S.A. whether the majority of the country’s people support American politics or not. The U.S. first invaded Afghanistan, then Iraq to have a military and economic base on the Black Sea and Middle East petrol supplies.

The 3rd discovered and most recent type of energy is the nuclear power energy. Nuclear power energy supersedes all other kinds of energy. The industrial countries controlling the nuclear power decided to keep the control within their ‘club’ to avoid other countries from getting access to the new source of energy. And whoever wants to get this source will be stopped by any means. For instance, the nowadays conflict between the west and Iran and North Korea. The United Nations, under the superpower countries, decided to have an economic and technologic embargo on Iran, and is still in the process of negotiating with North Korea.

im in highschool, grade 10 student

Answer 1

It's not bad, but you need to fix a few things.
1. In the early 19th century, powered machines such as boats and trains were powered by charcoal energy. (note where the comma goes)
2. It is "forced to retreat", not "retrieve", which means "to fetch."
3. "But" is not necessary when beginning the sentence, nor is "And". These are conjunctions, and conjunctions are NEVER used to start a sentence. (they link clauses.)
4. "They left corrupted governments in the small states they divided in order to rule on the occupants' behalf and safeguard the invaders' interests"
5. Western, in this context, is capitalized.

Answer 2

You need to have a native speaker of English look over your essay before you submit it.
For example, compare:
In the early 19th century powered machines such as boats and trains were powered by charcoal energy.
In the early 19th century, machines such as boats and trains were powered by charcoal.
The occupants were forced to retrieve.
Do you mean retreat?
West and Western are always capitalized in this context.

Answer 3

The only word I do not know is...supersedes......
It is written well and your word choice is very good.
I learned a lot just now...