what would u do if.............?

Question

what would u do if?
your sister wants to hang out with a real loser? she has been friends wit him for 8 years, he does dr*gs and was charged with r*pe this summer. she wants to invite him to her party. i said she shouldnt cause i koe this guy and he will take advatage of her. she wont listen to me, we are really close, i love her alot (as my sister) i wanna do the right thing, what should i do?

she is 14, this guy was her best friend, then he moved and became a loser, she really wants to see him. i know it means alot to her but i want her to be safe. he always makes comments about her body that make me mad. am i too protective??

Answer 1

Talk to her, you are right.

Answer 2

I'd keep talking to her. You have to accept that she will ultimately do what she wants to do, and hopefully learn from any mistakes, and I pray there wont be, rape is very serious...

But, you have to just keep talking to her, try to sit her down in an quiet room and look at her strait in the eye and tell her that those who love her are worried about her and any potential bad situations. Guys don't change their ways, especially rapists, no matter how much counseling there is. They feel they're superior and no woman can change that delusion he has. Tell her as her sister you feel you have a duty to protect her and that there's lots of other good guys who wont hurt her out there, and you just can't let her give in to this guy.

But if she still decides that this is a good idea, keep an eye on him and her at the party. you have an advantage that this is a public/social situation. Don't let them get alone. And this might be bad, but if you catch him maybe hitting on another girl, then point it out to her, maybe she'll realize he's not a good guy. Are others that are invited aware of of his past? perhaps they'll threaten not to come if this guy comes. maybe that will change her mind too.

He sounds like a real loser and not worth any chance of letting him hurt your sister. He doesn't deserve it.

Answer 3

That's a tough one because obviously you don't want to piss her off, because that will probably make her want to hang out with this douche even more. If you haven't already sit down with her and be straight forward with her, if your really that close than she will appreciate your concern as long as you do it in a mature way. Explain your concerns in a way that you can really emphasize "I" messages like "I'm concerned about your saftey," and "I don't like the things I've heard about this guy." When you use these I messages it allows more of an expression of thought without it sounding like an attack on this dude. And if she still wants to hang out with this guy after that, then unfortunetly you kinda just have to let her be, I know that's even harder considering I can't stand my sister's boyfriend, but once people reach a certain age in their life they just have to learn things on their own. It sucks that she would want to hang out with a dude that was charged with rape, and hopefully it will be a place where there are lots of people, and maybe give her a call if it's new years that night and wish her a happy one, and to kind of check on her. Good Luck.

Answer 4

You can't stop her if she really loves him. But don't jump into wrong conclusion...maybe it is not such a bad guy after all? But if she invited in the party....you will be there...and keep on eye what is happening ...and protect her....

Do the right thing...cuz eventhough she might get angry...after a while she will know that you did what's best for her.

good luck in finding a solution...tell me what happened... take care.

Answer 5

Unfortunately we have to let them make their own mistakes. I know that it hurts us but sometimes they don't want to listen to us. I caught a friend of mines husband cheating on her with another woman. I tried to tell her but she didn't believe me. As a matter of fact it cost me her as a friend. It was years later when it all came out in the open and she found out that I was right. We still to this day do not speak.

Answer 6

i know how you feel its the same way with my sister and me. i think u should let her invite whoever she wants but u should make sure he doesnt do anything with anyone there since he was accused of a serious thing. i wouldnt want anything to happen to ur sister or any of her friends. why dont u talk to ur parents about this guy? they might be able to decide what to do.

Answer 7

Your sister won't listen, i know cause i don't listen to my older brother half the time. Just be sure that if the guy shows up your there incase anything goes wrong.

Answer 8

The only thing you can do is tell her how you feel about him, like you are doing it here now, and if she doesn't want to listen them unfortunately she will have to learn the hard way!!!! Good luck to both of you and hope she sees how much you care about her and she will listen to you.

Answer 9

let her decide what she wants. i know you're her bro and you're sticking up for her, and that's a good thing. but you should let her learn from her mistakes. just keep an eye on him at the party if you can, or check in with her every once in a while. but obviously if she's known him for 8 years and is good friends with him she trusts him. trust your sister.

Answer 10

If you push your distaste too much, you may drive her away. Maybe get a pal to closely watch the guy during the party and to break his legs if anything goes awry.

Answer 11

you can talk to her and let her know how you feel but dont push anything. by the way, how old is she? if she is under 18, and he is older, then you really need to make her listen. If she is older than 18, just talk to her, tell her you care and dont want to see her hurt. But you also have to stand back and let her make her own mistakes, just have a baseball bat waiting................i wish you luck!