Does anyone have any suggestions as for why I should or shouldn't take my maiden name back after a divorce? There are no children involved, so that won't play a role. I've had my married name for 5 years and am used to it. Then again, I had my maiden name for 23 years, but I don't even remember being that person in a way. I keep going back and forth...I can't seem to decide. I think it might hurt my parents feelings if I don't go back, and I think it's weird to keep ties to an ex. At the same time, it's who I've been for 5 years. And I'm not ending the marriage because I hate my husband, so there's no drive to change back to get rid of anything of him. Any suggestions? :)
2006-12-30 11:21:41 · 18 answers · asked by einalem00 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Sounds like you still love your ex. And perhaps, if you keep the married name, you willl go around explaining why you use the name, explaining that you are now divorced, . . . . and so on, . . . and so on. Have you talked to ex about it??
What's best is what YOU and ONLY YOU WANNA do.
You just might not be ready to make that decision just yet. And that's OK too.
Take your time, and the right choice will come to you later.
2006-12-30 11:49:07 · answer #1 · answered by Babe 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Whether or not you go back to your maiden name is always a personal choice. However when I decided to leave my husband of 20 yrs there was no doubt in my mind that as soon as the divorce was final I would take back my maiden name, one month after the divorce was final the petition to reclaim my maiden name was also final.
I had a few friends who did not agree with my decision because there is children involved and although the two older ones are of legal age the one remaining one who is a minor and his father has physical custody of him.. They said that I was denying them their mother and I don't see it that way.. The name on their birth certificate is my maiden name the fact that we were married when they were born does not change the fact that I am their mother in all respects.. I chose to because in doing so it proved to me that I was no longer HIS... he could no longer tell me what to do or when to do it or who to do it with.. In losing his name he lost every hold he had on me during our marriage..
so no one can tell you if you should go back to your maiden name or not, you have to do what is in your heart.. :)
2006-12-30 11:49:21 · answer #2 · answered by Mouseling 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well I am divorced and I have kept my married name still. I don't feel the need to change it back to my maiden name, I will always have my maiden name forever within my blood....
Besides my married name is shorter....LOL....I just don't feel like changing mine back, even though I dislike my ex. So many things to change over again, I figure, i will wait until I get remarried someday.
2006-12-30 11:39:38 · answer #3 · answered by Trese 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I kept my married name,id always used it at work and my career took off when i was married,so it seemed like me if you know what i mean-my established name,whereas my maiden name didn't mean a whole lot to me,like you i didn't remember that person and i connected the name to the person i was then not to my ex husband even though it was very amicable split.I felt it was my name not just a married name,part of me and my identity.
2006-12-30 11:27:30 · answer #4 · answered by NATALIE W 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Actually, I think you should do it, if the marriage is over. 1. Most women do it, except when they have a child. But why thoes women don't do it, is beyond me- a child's name can be legally changed. I researched the possibility 2 years ago. 3. It wooould give you a sense of freedom and you might get more respect.
2006-12-30 11:34:28 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not really matters if you keep your ex last name or not..It is not how you sign you name that will make who you are, it is how you feel about yourself as a person..carrying your ex last name or taken back your maiden name will not change who you are inside...
2006-12-30 11:29:12 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go back to maiden name, so you don't have to explain why you have a different last name!
There is no reason to hold onto married last name!
2006-12-30 11:27:48 · answer #7 · answered by Lucky 7 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would take your maiden name back that is a tie that keeps you connected to him even in the smallest way.
2006-12-30 11:41:37 · answer #8 · answered by loqueen 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If it was me, I would take my maiden name back! Why hold onto the baggage of a failed marriage...onwards and upwards!
Good Luck!
2006-12-30 12:35:32 · answer #9 · answered by Ŗεŋεε 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its your decision, its what you feel more comfortable with. I kept my married name even after i divorced because I had grown accustomed to it.
2006-12-30 11:36:28 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋