Been married almost 12 years, I am happy with being intimate with my husband once a week, if he had things his way it would be more like four times a week. He aggrivates me to the point where I sleep in between the comforter and the sheet while he sleeps under the sheets, I do this to create a barrier but what I think will end up happening is I will have created a barrier in our marriage. Any advice? We have been to counseling once but never went back due to his work schedule.
2006-12-30 10:45:01 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Get to the bottom of why you don't want to be intimate with him more often and communicate that with him. The lusty love that existed in the beginning of your relationship can be regained if you want to, but it does take soul searching on both your husband and your part. Communication is the key. As far as how much is too much, that is a question that can only be answered by you and your husband. My hubby and I can't wait to get our daughter in bed each night so we can have intimate time once a day, and I'm very happy with that. It wasn't always this way, but we worked on it through communication and recaptured what we had in the beginning. You can too. Good luck! :)
2006-12-30 11:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Let me be frank. Once a week may do it for you but there is not a normal married man alive who thinks that is sufficient. Now you can disagree and continue to resist or you can get with the program. Option one means discord and strife which could eventually result in infidelity. Option two means you need to get more heavily involved in getting pleasure from sex instead of performing some kind of duty.
Its your choice.
12 years, how much longer do you expect this dance to go on?
When was the last time it was your idea? From the sound of it , it has been some time. At some point he will get tired of trying to approach the throne and give up entirely. At that point you will wonder why he does not find you attractive anymore. You had better wake up and do it soon. If not you may find your marriage disintegrating. Why, because once a week should be enough?
We aren't even talking about your lack of input but only your resistance to more. For guys sex is physical mostly and somewhat intimate. For women it is mostly about intimacy and caring. Why not just tell him you are cold and not interested in more closeness. It will save a lot of time later when he starts looking elsewhere.
2006-12-30 19:03:13 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wish I had your husband....lol...lol because my husband is acting like you....Yes it is creating a barrier....making him wait is only frustrating him....he loves you, what is wrong with you making him so horny.....You would rather he be horny towards you right well I am not trying to sound mean or anything, I just know what he is going through. Your week is only going to end up longer than a week as you get older and your husband is really going to blow up...Understand where he is coming from...maybe this is a way for him to relax or unwind from a hard days work....Don't push him away, put it on him....lol...lol
2006-12-30 18:57:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anastacia 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I sense a huge barrier being built! You are going to have to reach some type of compromise, or your marriage is going to suffer. Maybe twice a week, being intimate, would be more suitable for him, and not too much for you. Good Luck!!
2006-12-30 18:51:14 · answer #4 · answered by olderbutwiser 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are cold!! How dare you benefit from this marriage yet not allow him to benefit from it. I am sure he is made to do what you want him to do in order to make you happy, but you dont feel inclined to return the favor in the way he would like. If you are repulsed by him then do him a favor and get a divorce.
2006-12-30 21:16:18 · answer #5 · answered by Bonzai Betty 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Men like sex, and they need it. If you don't want to lose him, you need to make some compromises that fulfill more of his needs, such as two or three times a week. Women who with hold sex usually lose their men to other women, in the long run.
2006-12-30 19:15:58 · answer #6 · answered by Christine5 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At least he agreed to see a counsler. Mine wouldn't. Some counslers will make room around your or his work schedule. Please try again.
As for your husband, most men are stubborn and self centered. But why do we girls like them so much? As apposed to your question. Too much is when you had enough.
Good luck.
2006-12-30 19:02:27 · answer #7 · answered by roxylee11782 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you really want this to work you and your husband should talk and figure out a way to compromise so that you are willing to give a little more than you want and he takes a little less than he wants.
2006-12-30 19:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i feel bad for both of you and since he wants more sex i'm sure he will be willing to learn how to romance you into wanting more sex. you will probably need to be the teacher and if you can make it back to the counselor they can help as well. my wife and i went through where you two are at now and now we have been married 28 years and she actually initiates sex as much as i do now!
2006-12-30 19:51:12 · answer #9 · answered by David C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should WANT to have sex more often. Learn to have more pleasure and fun. Become a sex expert.
2006-12-30 19:16:01 · answer #10 · answered by Raven 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋