Does the character of a man actually matter to a woman?

Question

I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".

I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".

On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".

Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?

I look forward to your intelligent and well-thought-out answers.

Answer 1

my dear, I will tell you what. you are looking for woman in the wrong places. I know some women who likes bad boys, but most of the ones I know they look for a honest, gentle, nice, good father kind of man. I would hate to have a lazy, dishonest man in ly life. I'm so glad that my husband is nice. Being too nice is always good for a relationship. My husband is everything I ever dreamed about and he is not boring at all. Honey, the women who likes losers, are also losers. Stay away from them. There's a lot of nice ladies around. you just need to pay attention. Good luck to you!

Answer 2

You know that I asked a similar question to Dr. Drew when he spoke at my university back in 2000. I also asked myself this question a lot at one time so when I got the chance to ask the guy, I did. If I remember correctly, he based it on the need to nurture others/daddy did not give her enough hugs/other biological answers that I don't recall.

While that may be a "nutshell" answer, I am not for sure if you are asking the right question. The question that should be asked is this: Why do confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father type men spend so much time thinking about being with women who obviously like bad boy types?

As I said before, I use to ask myself that question a lot, and it was also a main topic of discussion between my friends and I after a long night of watching The Highlander or Star Trek (insert joke here). I never realized that beating myself up looking for an answer to this question was more destructive than helpful until I met my fiancee six years ago in college. She self admitted to going for the "bad" guys for most of her dating life. She decided that it was not worth it anymore, and began looking for someone who would treat her the way she needed to be treated.

So, looking back on it now I have realized that I was questioning the logic of the wrong party involved. Instead of worrying about why women the "bad boy," I should have been thinking about why I was attracted to that type of girl. Truthfully, I may have missed out on building a relationship with my fiancee if I would have pined over the loss of my previous serious girlfriend(s).

In closing, one more interesting observation to throw into my answer. 90% of the women that I meet over the age of 26 who are single, are looking for a man with character, integrity, etc. Also, 90% of the girls that I knew who stayed with their "bad boy" ended up in bad relationships that usually ended up in messy ends.

NOTE: In defense of the "bad boys" I have witnessed some of these guys turn out all right over the years, and they end up in good relationships.

Don't loose hope and MTFBWY.

Natron

Answer 3

Am glad to know that there are people out there that have the same thoughts as i do. Many women love to compete with other women for a guy in order for them to emerge victorious in marrying or keeping the guy. This they think would give them a sense that they are value than other ladies. Moreover, they also fell protected around guys who are "bad boys." than guys of academic intelligence. As a psychology student, i have always ask myself similar question and found out that it could be due to their family background and the type of homes or family structure in which these ladies were raised. Or should i just say a woman's brain is one complex place. Low self esteem could be another factor that is responsible for these ladies to adore challenging men.

Answer 4

Younger women usually look for the excitement of a bad boy unless they were raised by wise parents. at least this is so in the American culture.

My guess is either you are very young or you are looking for girls to reject you. This puts the onus on them. It's not your fault. I am sure you can find a serious woman who has integrity and respects integrity if that is what you are really looking for

Answer 5

Very few People have been shown how to live life. Most of us are learning to now.

Then there is the general issue of social standing. a fair number of people have caved on moral standards so that they could have partners that supplied enough $$ for their lifestyle.

Its about comfort i think. as long as they can maintain lifestyle, not their needs, they are happy. One less thing to work at in this already tiring life. Most people would rather have a catering asshole than a real partner who will make them tow the line.

People choose the path of least resistance... easier to lower the top than raise those on the bottom.

Answer 6

Yes it matters. The good women are extremely hard to find. They are the ones everyone wants and they are the ones looking for a man with integrity. The ones that end up with deadbeats have flaws of their own. Keep looking.

Answer 7

It seems you just haven't found the right woman yet. I believe women do accept the "bad boys" because of low self-esteem. When a woman actually gains a good self-image she does care about the character of her man, because she would never accept anything less than the standards she holds for herself. Try meeting/dating women older than you. They tend to have a firmer grasp on who they are and what they want and they've gotten all the bad boy appeal out of their system (hopefully) because they realize that just leads to pain and disappointment. You will meet a woman who is ready for you, and it will be worth the wait. Be patient, observant and don't give up.

Answer 8

Integrity and honesty is everything but you can be a little crazy i don't see why any intelligent woman would want less know what i mean inside me is a big kid that feels 18 more than my years. I told my wife before we married life would never be boring with me and after all this time she still says you were right.

Answer 9

Having just come out of an eight year marraige to a man with no morals, I finally appreciate integrety. I have to admit when I was younger, I was attracted to "bad boys" but now I know what they are about. Some women like the challenge of having to tame the person their with. You have to find someone like you, who appreciates your virtues and not someone who is out to play games.

Answer 10

You're right on the point that women like "bad boys", I don't know why, maybe because they emit something + protective. Actually I think women like to feel that it's not that easy to get a man... the one who is too kind with her, the one who overshows that he's interested on her...maybe all this could take her distant . On the other hand the misterious man, the one who doesn't always show what he's feeling could be more interesting... As far as I am concerned I like this kind of guys cauz they make me curious about them, they make me want to discover the type of person they are...it's more interesting :-)