Sister in LA has a daughter who has mean streak, talks ugly and curses at her and in front of her 2 little kids, and her 2 older neices Sister doesn't have the heart to throw her out but is continually being emotionally and verbally abused. Sister knows how it is to make ends meet for a single mom and it's this (and little money) that keeps her from physically packing up her daughter's things and puting them on the lawn or renting her a room somewhere. She needs intervention by another or official authority but not sure if this falls under domestic abuse or what. Any suggestions that would/could work? No funds for attorneys, needs to take action soon before everyone is tainted! Bad daughter has taken over the house and doesn't care what she says with uncensored venting. Sister not sure what daughter angry about...being unmarried, two kids from same guy, low child support, poor job, no love life??? Could be all!!! Either way, it's time she moves out, no?
2006-12-30 10:00:14 · 13 answers · asked by plenti4u 2 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
My first thought is what if your sister got Children and Family Services involved by saying her daughter is creating a verbally violent environment for her little kids.
This is a really common problem these days. I've known a few families who have this type of thing. Sometimes the grown kid uses drugs, which explains the bizarre behavior. Sometimes they're just verbal bullies and know nobody will go against them if they make a big and scary enough stink. I don't think she's "venting". I think she's being abusive and manipulative and disrespectful and negligent when it comes to the wellbeing of her children. She is taking advantage of the fact that she knows her mother doesn't want the little kids somewhere else.
Why don't you call the social services people in your sister's state and say the children may be being neglected and verbally abused, based on what you've heard. They may get an investigation going, and then they can take it from there.
It is not going to get better for your sister. It will only get worse.
2006-12-30 10:21:52 · answer #1 · answered by WhiteLilac1 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
From what you say the 24 year old looser is also the mother of two kids.
It is the kids I would be most concerned about. Yes you can kick the 24 year old looser out with no problem, but I would be concerned about her taking her kids with her...(she's their mom it's her right to take her kids with her). I don't think anyone wants those kids sleeping on the streets. It's not their fault their Mom is an idiot and their Dad isn't around.
Now the looser is unmarried, two kids from same guy, low child support, poor job, no love life... Gee I think I can see why she is angry and frustrated. Sounds like she is her own worst enemy. What she needs to do is get her life together.
She's angry because her life stinks. That's what anger is for, it is nature's way of saying "this isn't working, get off your lazy butt and FIX this!" She needs to take all that anger and frustration and channel it into a constructive purpose, like going to night school and getting some sort of marketable skill and getting a better job so she can make more money and buy herself her own house.
Right now she is blessed in that she is staying with someone else, and (I assume) has someone to watch the kids while she works and goes to school. If she looses this support system it will be much much harder for her to turn her life around.
Sounds to me like everyone concerned here needs to grow up. Sister needs to lay down the law to the looser. Looser needs to stop sleeping around and start working hard and hitting the books.
I'd sit the looser down and give her some serious goals and a some serious deadlines. "You will be school by X day, You will not be sleeping with men you are not married to. You will start acting like a 24 year old mother and not a 16 year old ho. If you do these things I will watch your kids and give you a place to live and keep food on the table and help you fix your life, and in a couple of years things will be a whole lot better around here.
If you do not do these things you will go out on the street, and I will get your parental rights terminated and raise your kids myself."
Use carrots, not just sticks. Part of loosers anger comes from having given up on herself. She doesn't know how to make her life better, or thinks it is beyond her capabilites. That is wrong. This is America. You can do it here.
2006-12-30 10:50:13 · answer #2 · answered by Larry R 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes she can and it sounds like she needs to. If someone is abusive verbally or physically then they need to go. You don't even have to ask. Change the locks. at 24 she needs to grow up on her own but she won't unless she is pushed out of the nest so to speak. You need to let your sister know that the oldest angry daughter will not grow as a person as long as this is allowed. Talk to the authorities and see how you can make it an easy transition for the rest of the family and gets some addresses and numbers for the 24 year old to get a job and support herself.
2006-12-30 10:06:02 · answer #3 · answered by Kat 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Though tough... it's time for tough love. She's 24 and has no appreciation. Understood that your sister has a heart but...... it will never stop without direct intervention. You all could go round and round but thats what needs to be done. Nothing will heal and move forward until this is done.
First of all a male family member needs to sit her down and intervene. "This is what is going to happen" kind of thing. Many families don't have this person but regardless everyone in the family has to be on board with what is going to happen.
Next/or your sister should just change the locks. Anybody in the family should just simply tell her when she calls that she needs to talk to her Mom. No discussion about "whoa is me and she kicked me out". This whole meanstreak is just intimidation and not taking care of the root issues.
After a few days, without anybody helping out the daughter will come around begging for help..... then you can start from there.
There is no other choice in this. Good luck to you and your sister!
2006-12-30 10:20:52 · answer #4 · answered by jackson 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, way past time she was gone. You sister isn't doing her any favours by allowing her to stay. Go to the courthouse and proceed with eviction paperwork. The clerk will help her. She will need to give her 30 days written notice to quit, I know...but get the paperwork rolling now.
If she is abusive, the police can remove her immediately. I'd suggest calling the police next time ANYTHING abusive happens. She might also want to consider a restraining order as soon as she is gone.
2006-12-30 10:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your sister needs to practice tough love and be the parent she needs to be. Does the daughter behave this way because your sister has raised her to think that this is acceptable behavior? Sometimes being the parent you have to be the bad guy and set up limits and say no, enough is enough this inconsiderate person needs to go and be responsible for her own life, sorry to hear that she also has children, one can only imagine what is going through their heads to witness all of this chaos.
2006-12-30 10:31:50 · answer #6 · answered by JKS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Anyone nasty can be kicked out any time, there is no special law needed. And this being done in front of little kids, NOW is the time.
This is a spiteful grown up (legally grown up if not as a person)
The mother can get family services involved, they will help at no charge.
2006-12-30 10:05:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
She can. she was allowed in as guest she can be asked to leave, no rent paid no agreement. Problem is most people in this situation will let them back in.
Call law enforcement and throw the bum out, oh, yes! Women can be bums too. If you do this, you must stand hard. Do not let her back in. Help her seek shelter somewhere else or report her to child protection agency and let her deal with her chose's Not a hard decision to make if you are truly fed up.
2006-12-30 10:10:32 · answer #8 · answered by professor 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
They call what needs to be done "TOUGH LOVE"
In most states you can have them removed at 18 or 17. If they are abusive do the right thing for the other children and get her OUT!
2006-12-30 10:06:41 · answer #9 · answered by LucySD 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
At 24, her family has now obligation to provide for her. Landlord/tenant law may come in to play. Even is their is no lease/rental agreement, you may have to go though a formal eviction process. I have to advise you to consult an attorney. Simply kicking her out could get you in trouble.
2006-12-30 10:55:38 · answer #10 · answered by STEVEN F 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋