i got married 2 weeks ago to a stunning wife now i've left her and want a divorce?

Question

i got married to my girlfriend 2 weeks ago , now its the biggest mastake i've ever made , her 10 year old son picks on my 3 girls , he is a spiolt little bugger, she's let him get away with murder, im not allowed to punish him put she can punish my girls, she doesn't listen to a thing i say , 2 weeks ago i loved her to bits now i hate her and my self for putting the girls through all this, can any one give me some advise

Answer 1

Our society takes marriage and divorce too lightly. We need to look at the whole picture BEFORE saying "I do." And we need to really mean it when we say, "I do." Otherwise, don't say it. If you are willing to give up after only 2 weeks, then either you didn't get to know her AND her son before deciding to marry, or you don't take the vows seriously at all. We look at divorce the same way as a break up. It should be much more serious and traumatic. Please consider counseling for the two of you, and for the whole family. There's a lot of change happening here. Everyone will need time (any maybe help) making the adjustment. Don't give up so easily. But do put your foot down that you won't allow this kind of treatment of your daughters. They deserve better. Good luck. It sounds pretty bad for you.

Answer 2

Oh dear. This sounds like a very awkward situation. It's never easy joining two families especially when both sides have children. But there must be give and take in boths sides. Sounds like a hell of a lot of take from her side and lots of give from yours. Although we only have your side of the story I guess.

Surely things are not so bad that you can't sit down and talk about things? I wonder how long you have been together and were you already living together before the marriage? The extra commitment may have just put added stress to the situation and things will settle down perhaps. Given time.

If managing to talk to eachother is not working then maybe some sort of mediation may help. It may sound a bit drastic but it's worth it if you want the relationship to work out and for things to get back on track.

Divorce may be a bit drastic. Worth trying to rationalise with her and sort things out first.

I wish you luck.

Answer 3

why did you marry her,for you or for a instant family? sounds to me that if its the instant family reason you have tasted real family life.boys pick on girls its a centuries old thing.you have to set boundries and this includes your new wife, she has to be made to understand that.you talk about your 3 girls but you now have a son (by law anyway) and you are not showing how to be a positive role model,running away is the easy way out.Family's don't talk enough now.parents don't listen enough to their kids.if I were you I'd sit the kids down and let them have their say and listen, make sure nobody shouts and everybody has their say.Only after can you and your wife sit down and decide if this broken family can be mended.I sure hope it can be.Getting married can be a very stressful time, not to mention the emotions of 4 kids, we all wish we had a manual like the hitchhikers guide to the galazy to help us through this crazy life, but in Douglas Adams immortal words DONT PANIC.
All the best and don't give up, for all your sakes

Answer 4

O dear.
You need to talk to each other before making any decision. You absolutely have to agree to treat all the children the same otherwise no matter how you feel about each other or it will be never be a real family. If you can agree it may take time for her to 'let go' if she has been raising her son alone, especially if she spoilt him.
Like other posters here I do wonder how you could not know how the children would be treated and interact before you got married.

Also talk to the girls and tell them that you want the best for them, that you understand that right now things are not good but that you are working on it.

Answer 5

Sounds like maybe you didn't get to know her well enough before you married her, but I'd get it overwith unless you think counseling will help. It's not as if you're breaking up a long marriage!

Talk to an attorney about what happened, and they'll let you know about the laws in your state concerning divorce. There may be a period of time you have to be married before you can divorce, like 3 months or 6 months. Thank goodness you didn't have any kids with her!

Answer 6

Don't allow yourself to hate your mistakes...just be aware that there is a lesson to be learned. Your children are helpless in this situation. You are the adult and more importantly, you are the father. Talk to your girls and ask them how they are feeling and dealing with their new step brother. The best way to approach them is to take them away from the home so that they do not feel as if they need to hide something because of their new mother and brother. Today, your step son may pester the girls but if his mother allows him to get away with such acts, his actions will only push the girls harder. What will you do then? Take action today and protect those girls you call your daughters. Be a man! Think like a father and not like a husband

Answer 7

You need to sit down with your wife and lay out the ground rules! This is a 50/50 relationship and since you both have kids, if you don't unite, there will always be problems. The rearing of the kids has to be 50/50!! If she is not willing to accept this then I suggest you go for annulment of the marriage, as your girls are your priority! If she really loves you and really wants things to work, she will make the effort to be fair! If she doesn't your girls will start resenting her son and things will spiral out of control! Good luck

Answer 8

What, you could not tell how things would be, with any clarity at all? Come on man. How stupid. I aint buying it. You had clues and didnt want to see or admit them and you know it. You opted in, now deal with it bub.

Now, explain this to her. She gets no more say over yours then you do over hers. That simple, no discussions needed or tolerated. Period. You have been married before. What, did you think women changed or something? Of course she doesnt listen to you. They never listen or care what you have to say or think. Damn, you are dense.

Best I can tell you is this. If you two divorce, dont even date. Cause unless they are cheating on you, it is you who cant see the forest for the trees or you are so bent on having a woman that you dont think of anything else, and you ignore too much about them and how they are.

Answer 9

How could you have not known how her son is? Didn't you and your kids ever get together with her and her son during the time you were dating? It's a big change for kids. Maybe you just need to talk to your wife and tell her how you feel and it can be worked out. Its only been 2 weeks, give the marriage a chance for Gods sake.

Answer 10

You got married only two weeks ago & you're giving up already? Surely if the woman was worth marrying , she's worth fighting for. Marriage isn't easy but take a step back, take a deep breath & work out your differences. Talk, communicate & , if necessary, negotiate, but don't give up. Your kids are involved now that you're married so let them see that relationships can work out. Remember you two are the adults & have to set the limits & guidelines for the kids. Don't give up.