he calls me names in front of our 4 month old son. he get mad very easily. he's been a little physical with me( pushed me a few times on the floor.eveyuthing is my fault. he also put his hands on my neck. he admits he has a temper. he says that he loves me but I just don't see it. i threatened to leave, at first he telss me to go ,then he later tells me that he doesn't want me to leave. It has happened so many times, now that I am not sure how I feel about him anymore. What should I do? A part of me wants 2 leave but the other part wants 2 try to make it work ,for the baby's sake.
2006-12-30 09:26:55 · 33 answers · asked by natasha m 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Leave immediately. This will probably escalate into physical violence (it already started if he's putting his hand on your neck!). You deserve better treatment. Your child deserves a better home environment. AND you owe it to your child to provide a much better example of what a healthy relationship is like and a good role model of what a real man is supposed to be. Good luck to you!!!
2006-12-30 09:33:16 · answer #1 · answered by DivaDynamite 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are just a push away from being badly hurt. This guy is an abuser with a capitol A.
Most serious physical abuse starts out just this way. A few insults, some pushing and then the real fun starts. Even if it goes no further, this is plenty of enough.
No wonder your feelings are changing. One thing that you can be sure of - he will not. The only changes you will see in him is ever more increasing violence until he has you so afraid to move that you will feel too powerless to leave.
And your child is living in a war zone. He may never intentionally lash out at the child but it makes no difference. You child is in the line of fire. It is proven that children living in violent homes grow up to either use violence themselves or to becomes victims. Only you can save your child from a future of pain and hurt.
While you can still think, while you still have some self respect, while you are still whole, get out of this situation. Pack up, call your local shelter and get help to remove yourself and your child safely from your situation. Starting over is hard but it is done successfully by strong women such as yourself everyday of the week. You can do this. And when you do you and your child step into a future that is free from fear and violence. A future all your own.
Good luck honey. Gentle thoughts to ya.
2006-12-30 10:47:45 · answer #2 · answered by outdone 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have been in this situation and all I can say is you need to leave. If not for your safety, for the safety of that baby. Your boyfriend sounds like a classic abuser and unless you leave, something very bad could and probably will happen to you or your son. The other thing to remember is that if he is abusing you while your son is this little, he will continue to do it and do you really want your son to learn that it is ok to treat women the way daddy treats mommy? I hope that your answer to that is no. You need to leave ASAP.
Best wishes!
2006-12-30 09:33:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would pack my **** and leave and tell him to go **** himself. Your children will end up calling you the same names or their friends the same things they hear at home. Everyone loses in this situation. Don't say that you don't have a choice, we all have choices, and to stay in this relationship is just self-abuse and really your children could suffer at his hands as well. Only you can stop this. Your children will understand when they get older, please, do it for their sake and your own. There is always somewhere to go. Remember, when you love someone, you don't treat them that way. Love is great and gentle and kind. Not name calling and choking and threatening. It is a fact that when someone treats someone like this, they are a bully and they are very weak inside. It wouldn't take much to bring this person down. So instead they act tough and stuff to protect themselves. They are weak, and you are not!!!GOOD LUCK
2006-12-30 10:38:12 · answer #4 · answered by Lulu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave him…he’s not worth the heartache…
Trust me you’ll just be sorry later down the line…honest truth.
Your baby deserves a safe home and you guy’s aren’t giving it to him.
Although he has the rights to two parents he also has the right to live in a safe and loving environment. Not only are you putting yourself in jeopardy, but you are also putting your baby at risk. LEAVE HIM BEFORE ITS TOO LATE FOR YOU AND YOUR BABY!!!
Trust me your baby would rather live in a happy home with you then in a h e l l house with the two of you displaying this kind of behavior. Not only that, but do you want your son to think this is the way a man's suppose to treat a woman...he'll think it's okay because it's something he see's everyday...it'll be what he thinks is normal and will grow up using the same behavior as his father.
So you see...you need to get out not just for you but for your son as well.
Good Luck, I wish you and your son well.
2006-12-30 09:35:52 · answer #5 · answered by UnknownJaneDoe 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What he is doing to you is physical and mental abuse and it is certainly not acceptable under any circumstances !! Of course you want to make it work for your son but unless he gets some anger management, you and your son could one day be in grave danger. If l were you l would leave him and let him know that as much as you love him, you will not come back with his son until he gets some help for his abusive ways.Tell him of your concerns about yours and your son's safety and mental state and then the rest is up to him. If he loves you and wants to make things right he will do everything it takes to get you back. Best of luck to you.
2006-12-30 10:47:03 · answer #6 · answered by kazzadanni 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can understnad what you're feeling. Listen there are two ways that this scenario can end. You either keep suffering or you leave. First of all, i think you should try to get help for your husband but if he refuses, I think you should leave him. Think about his: you said that you want to stay for the baby's sake, but you are not thinking right. I mean that if the abuse worsens and he abuses you physically more, than who do you think is going to take care of the baby? Do you trust your husband to take care of him if you get hurt? If not, I seriously think you should leave him. Hope this helped.
2006-12-30 09:34:04 · answer #7 · answered by u*no*me 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's an abuser who hates himself, who doesn't deal with his own problems, except to blame everything on u. whenever someone abuses u either mentally or physically, u get out of it, u leave it, the baby doesn't need a father like him, the baby may even grow up to be like him, he may start abusing his son after awhile, he has some serious anger problems, he needs therapy, but he would be so insulted if u even suggested it, he might hurt u again. get out of it, he will just pull u down, beat u down, until u have no self worth left. please get out of there before he kills u or the baby. u can't make something like this work.
2006-12-30 14:34:07 · answer #8 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave before you and/or the baby are hurt. If he's pushing you around and has a temper, it will only get worse. Don't take that stuff from any man. That's not love.
2006-12-30 10:03:57 · answer #9 · answered by colorado_mechanic 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get out of this abusive relationship as quick as you can. Talk to a social worker, your minister at church or go to a womans shelter they mostly have workers who work with woman in your situation.You probably are not working since youare looking after the baby, he is using this as a tool to keep you down, Cheer up ,and the best wishes for the new Year.
2006-12-30 09:55:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋