I graduated 5 years ago and during senior year a friend told me that she was having an affair with a teacher. She swore me to secrecy and said she was blowing him during lunch hour. His wife was pregnant with their third child at the time. To my knowledge, only me and one other person knew about this.
I no longer am friends with this girl, and I've been thinking about this a lot lately. While she was 18 at the time this was supposedly happening, I feel uncomfortable with him still being a teacher.
How should I handle this? Should I tell someone? Should I just forget about it? I keep thinking that he might be preying on other girls, and while my friend never saw the affair as exploitative, his next girlfriend might. However I have no proof this actually happened, just what she told me... and I would hate to drag her in by name and ruin her marriage (she was cheating on her boyfriend-now-husband with this teacher) or ruin his career...
Should I do something about this?
2006-12-30 08:20:07 · 23 answers · asked by dani_kin 6 in Education & Reference ➔ Teaching
I put this question in teaching because I'm hoping that some teachers or administrators can tell me what to do...
2006-12-30 08:20:49 · update #1
YES! You should tell someone about it. Its illegal and should not be tolerated. Despite her being 18 and a legal adult, that type of behavior should not be allowed in our schools. You can remain anonymous but definitely report it.
Good luck in your decisions!
2006-12-30 08:29:11 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
I have several points to make:
1. Even if the girl were 25, the teacher is in a position to guide and influence her and any sexual relationship between a teacher/coach/counselor and student is ILLEGAL.
2. If the guy does this every year then he is doing it now.
3. Whether you have proof or not, it will not hurt to simply say: "When I was in high school a classmate told me that this was happening. I do not know if it is true. I want you to be aware because if you are even somewhat suspicious of this teacher it warrants attention. If she was just trying to look cool I do not want to ruin his career, but I felt that I should tell you."
4. You do not have to give her name. Simply give the information and know that you did the right thing. Even if you want to do it anonymously then that is fine. But the information needs passed on.
5. E-mail is NOT anonymous. They will be able to trace it back to you. I know this because a student sent an email to our principal to tell her about a situation with a teacher and student. They traced the email so that they could question this student. He broke the law and had a light sentence to pay, but will be registered as a sexual predator for the rest of his life. He may not longer teach. He had 3 young children at home and as a help to his wife and family the judge gave him just 3 weekends in jail. Kind of weird I thought, but he was remorseful.
I really think that you should just pass on the info. Do it the same as you did here; explain that you have no proof but that it weighs heavily on you and you felt it best just to let someone know.
2006-12-30 18:49:57 · answer #2 · answered by Melanie L 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unless you can prove that the teacher is still doing it to another child etc. I'd leave it alone. Your friend told you this, but do you know for sure if it was truly going on? Unless you saw it, it will be considered here say on your part. The past is over so I'd just move along and TRY to forget it. If the teacher is still employed I would think in 5 years he would have tried to pick up another student. Someone would have suspected him and reported it. It's not an easy decision you can always report him anonymously that way the school board could keep an eye on him. But your ruining someones reputation either way. Good Luck it's not an easy decision. But I think you will do what is right.
2006-12-30 08:30:45 · answer #3 · answered by ????? 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The fact that the teacher is married is unimportant (unless you are his wife). Of greater importance is that the teacher will lose his job and risks imprisonment for rape even if, as seems likely, your friend agrees or wants intercourse. I would tell your friend that you have heard that a few people are considering reporting the teacher unless he stops. This will give him (and her) the chance to stop before getting the authorities involved. If they don't stop (because it's not just him, is it?), then send a letter, maybe anonymously, to the school.
2016-03-29 01:12:19 · answer #4 · answered by Nikki 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You said it yourself - you don~t have any proof, other than your friend~s confession. To go to the school 5 years afterwards on the strength of someone else~s words, who was of-age at the time: a recipe for absolute disaster. If she was blowing him, well, she knew what she was doing, and to those who talk about fiduciary relationships, go to high schools. Those so-called kids know exactly what is going on. And if she didn~t, but was rying to fantasize, then you destroy an innocent man~s career.
2006-12-30 08:55:35 · answer #5 · answered by poohmanchu3 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should definately tell someone. If this guy is still teaching, he could be doing it with other students too. It doesn't matter about ruining his career. He knew the consequences and he shouldn't get away with it. And the girl was 18 so she knew the consequences also and it's her own fault if her marriage is ruined. She shouldn't have done it.
2006-12-30 18:19:32 · answer #6 · answered by hellok723 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Let it go. You weren't a party to what was going on so your statements are hearsay, both of them are going to deny it and call you a homewrecker. If all you know is what she told you - she could have been lying anyway...
If you concern is about him preying on other girls, why is this only coming up now, five years later? You don't want to give her name or ruin his career, what's the real motivation here?
2006-12-30 08:26:26 · answer #7 · answered by heart o' gold 7 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Only if you can prove it happened. Your friend could have been lying. You weren't there. If you can prove that it happened then you should tell the school, but you can't prove it. Reasonable doubt exists and I pretty much consider your 18 year old friend part of the problem.
2006-12-30 08:24:24 · answer #8 · answered by Just Chillin' 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Too little too late. If you were going to do anything, you should have told your friend at the time that you were going to tell. You have no way of knowing if this really happened. If it did, while it was unethical, and might get the teacher fired, it was not illegal. Leave it alone.
2006-12-30 08:26:53 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋
With no proof other than her word I would leave it alone. No need to stir up trouble now. You should have said something back then when it was allegedly happening.
2006-12-30 08:24:45 · answer #10 · answered by I know, I know!!!! 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋