school bully?????????????

Question

My son is 8 and someone in his class told him 'Im gona bring a knife to school tommrow and shank you up'!!!!! This happened during the school christmas party when the two of them argued over a pack of chrisps.

I told the head teacher and all she did was made the buy write a letter saying he was sorry to my son...

I have been living out of the country for the last 10 years and have just returned.. Is this the norm in English schools???

Answer 1

Bullies are causing problems in Canadian schools too. From the prespective of someone who used to be principal of an elementary school, it is one of the most serious problems schools have to deal with, and one of the most difficult to deal with. Anti-bullying programs are being implemented in schools everywhere. I don't agree with the way it was handled in your son's school, but they may know something about the situation with this particular child that I don't.

Just some thoughts on bullying. I believe that most, not all, bulllies are being bullied or abused themselves somewhere in their own lives. They are passing on their sense of powerlessness about their own situation by taking power over others. Most bullies are unhappy, and are cowards.

Here is an answer that I gave to a recent question about bullying. It may help .....

In dealing with a bully, do be assertive, but the child being bullied is not usually strong enough to fight the bully physically ... bullies don't pick on kids who are stronger than them.

Bullies don't go away. It is true that bullies are cowards, and tend to back down when people stand up to them, but bullies also seek revenge. I don't know how old the child is, but this problem needs to be dealt with. Unless bullies are stopped, they tend to get worse and worse, not better.

Most schools have someone you can go to so that some adult will know about what's happening and can begin to stop it - a guidance counselor, a teacher you trust, the principal, someone. Can you go to the bully's parents and tell them? If the bully has actually attacked the child, go to the police. The bully can be charged. This is not a laughing matter. No matter what the bully has said about not telling anyone, TELL. Here are some well researched tips on dealing with bullying:

1. If you are bullied, TELL. Telling is not being weak or being a coward or tattling. It is helping to protect everyhone from that bully.
2. Tell someone you trust - teacher, counselor, parent, some other adult. You CANNOT handle this yourself.
3. Do not retaliate or get angry. This could make things worse.
4. Respond evenly and firmly or say nothing and walk away.
5. develop good strong friendships and support each other. Bullies tend to pick on kids that they think don't have many friends or kids thye think others won't hlep.
6. Act confident.
7. Try to stay away from places the bully will be if that is possible. For example, take a different route to school.
8. Avoid unsupervised areas of the school.
9. Try not to bring expensive items to school that might attract the bully's attention and that he might try to take or break.
10. To gain confidence and feel stronger and feel that youcan take care of yourself, enrol in a self-defnece program if one is available, or a martial arts program or something like that. Self defence programs teach you some very good skills, very quickly.
11. Join a group, such as Scouts, a cadet program, or something like that, so that you have a special group of friends.

Go to the website www.bullying.co.uk/ which has lots of information for parents and for kids about bullying and about some things you can do. I think this website might really help you figure out some good positive things you can do to deal with this.

Thousands of questions have been asked here on Yahoo Answers about bullying, so if you do a search you will see how common the problem is and get more ideas about handling it.

I hope this answer has something of value in it for you.

Answer 2

First off, I'd like to say how amazing your daughter is. Not many kids, especially her age, would play with someone who gets teased a lot. Kids think that's it's wrong if you befriend someone who is different or is bullied a lot. You should be very proud of her. I'm not really that old, In fact, I'm in high-school. I've been bullied every year since kindergarten, and I've had to move to FOUR different schools because of the severity of the teasing. I've not only been verbally teased, but I've also been punched, kicked, slammed into lockers, and hit with objects in school. Teachers don't do much about it anymore although EVERY school you can go to nowadays is a "big anti-bully school". That's bullshit, because I've actually been punched in the face in front of a teacher and they've done nothing about it. Instead of having all those "no drugs" talk, we should have "no bullying" talks in school. Also, parents need to explain how and bullying is to their children. This could save someone.

Answer 3

No..its not the norm...at least not now..and the head teacher is an idiot....before your child enters back into the school contact the principal than contact the board of education and tell them what has happened and ask them what action will be taken to see to your child's safety.....most schools have a zero tolerance for this kind of behavior..usually the kid who made the threat would be suspended and their parents notified.... ...not write an apology...

My son had a similar problem but it was many children over a period of time..I would go..and get blown off by the teacher and principal...it was horrible...I ask for a conference to be set up with the parents...and was told it was not possible..they said it would be an invasion of their privacy...I ask them to contact the parents of the children and let them know what was going on ..the school said they would take care of it (later ,I found out the parents were never informed).... my last resort.....I retained a lawyer and went to the school not to ask ..but to tell them if one more incident occurred that the law would be called in..and that I would bring suit to everyone who was inform of this problem and did nothing to rectify it .I left my lawyer business card on the desk and walked out ( I kept records..when I met with teachers..who I talked to ..what was say by whom..etc)....it worked...he finished out the year with no problems...than I pulled him from the school and home schooled him....after that.. the shootings started happening in different schools around the country....and a new policy was adopted by most schools...my son is now in public high school with the same kids and has had no problems...

I wish you the best and I hope you don't have the difficulties I encountered.....

Answer 4

This shouldn't be normal, however, it is occuring more and more. Parents! Restrict your children! Teach them how to be polite, little angels and not little devils! Do not let the child control the situation, YOU are the parent, YOU are the adult.

Why does this occur? Teachers are underpaid and (some) don't give a hoot about what's going on outside of their class. They are there only because they 'have to be' and thus, can't wait until the end of the day.

My advice: Hold REGULAR parents-teachers meetings where all the parents and all the teachers have discussions - truthful discussions - about the students and the school on a whole. Parents or teachers can tranfer opinions or ideas to one another and make your child's school a safer place.

If you want things to run smoothly, you have to work at it. And for the teachers who think an idea like this would be un-useful --- have no faith and shouldn't be teachers.

Answer 5

no, it is not normal, and as a teacher, I~m shocked that the principal did nothing about it. While I am not a proponent of ´zero tolerance´, a naked open threat like that needs to be nipped in the bud before it becomes a real problem. Revisit this with the principal, and if necessary, the superintendent of your school. File a report with a newspaper. Talk to the other boy~s parents, too. If they think it is a joke, give them some literature on school violence in North America, some articles on bullying, and thenif they are still laughing about it, make them part of the article in the newspaper. Boys will be boys, I agree, until they make open death threats. Then they are no better than thugs.

Answer 6

the teacher should have gone to the principal, and talked to the parents of the boy. What good is writing a letter going to do? It won't stop him from bring the knife. With all the shootings and bad stuff at schools these days, threats like that need to be taken seriously. Even if it seems a little extreme, it is not worth loosing a child.

Answer 7

Unfortunately this is very common. If you are not satisfied with the teachers response, then write a letter of complaint and mark it Formal complaint and send a copy to the School and the Board of Governors, and it should be investigated properly. The school has a week to respond, if your still not satisfied try the Board of Education and Ofsted. Ask for a copy of the schools anti- bullying policy. I've been through a similar experience with my own son.

Answer 8

I always say that if someone is stupid enough to carry a knife then they are stupid enough to use it. Bullying is bad enough but when the bully threatens with a weapon you are talking serious threats and it should be pursued as far as you can take it no matter what the age. Threats lead to actions and there have been serious assaults from children as young as 8. This bully must be stopped dead in his tracks and the first place to start is his home. I would even go to the police about this matter. It is serious.

Answer 9

I'm shocked this is happening in a Primary School. You need to go back to the school, they should be taking this sort of thing a lot more seriously. I wouldn't advise talking to the child's parents - it could do more harm than good. It's probably just a silly child saying things he doesn't really understand, let alone mean - but it is still shocking and frightening when it's your child on the receiving end.

Answer 10

yes. Not to brag on negativity but I go to a high school that makes the news about every week. Even though I am in high school what is going on in your son school is normal. However, what that bully said was unacceptable and I think you should take it up with a high source like the principal or the board of education in your school district. I think all parents need to play apart in abolishing violence in the schools.