How do i get my husband???

Question

how do i get my husband to open up to me...because he dont tell me what he thinks he tell me what he wants me to hear..

Answer 1

Men and women communicate differently and for entirely different reasons.

Men talk to impart information while women talk to make a connection.

Men make their connections through physical expressions such as sex.

So while you may not be able to get him to open up to you much in the verbal department there's always the physical.

If you insist on trying to make him do something slightly against his nature try broaching subjects of interest to him. Only you know what those may be. Have him teach you about his favorite sport, about cars, about gardening or whatever it is he likes to do. Men often will open up when instructing others in how to do something they are knowledgeable about.

In the process of teaching you you may find out things about him you were unaware of. Worth a try and you may learn something new in the bargain. Kudos to you for loving your man.

Answer 2

I don't think there is anyway you can get him to open up to you, until he feels he's ready to. All you can do is let him know that you're there and ready to listen to what he has to say when he's ready to let you in. If you push him to open up to you it'll only drive him even in the other direction...guys don't like to feel as though they're being push to do something. So, just let him know that you're there for him and when he's ready to tell you he'll tell you. Otherwise try counseling, but of course it depends if he's willing to participate. Tell him if he can’t have a talk with you then maybe he can write it down or something at least this way he’ll be able to tell you something.
Good Luck :)

Answer 3

This sounds like my ex wife.I wonder if they are related.From my experience there isn't much you can do.I tried everything you can imagine to get my ex to open up just a little and nothing worked.With death of family members and a misscarriage between us she wouldn't let anything out or let anyone in.Never did figure this out.My kids tell me she is still this way and we have been apart 6 years now.This may be the reason we call each other "ex".

Answer 4

This if it happens takes time. Just let him no you are always there. Make him feel special and that you care. Don't over do it though. They know if you are serious or not. When he does start to, lesson don't int-erupt. I say stuff like Oh, I see, that wonderful sweetie, or they like to be call O mighty king, don't over do it. You will feel like you working yourself to death but it is worth it. It will take a while. He will open up little by little. There is so much more I could tell you this will get you started. Good luck!

Answer 5

I have no idea if this applies to you, yet please consider this if you will.

Make sure you are not one of those who can only be told what they like, agree with, want to hear. Many people are guilty of wanting others to open up so to speak, but what they really mean is open up to me, so long as I like what you have to say, appreciate or agree with what you have to say and so forth.

Also make sure that you are not one who starts to defend yourself in a conversation before the person gets four words out of their mouth. If he has a problem with something you do or did or think or feel or anything else, make certain that you really listen and consider the validity of what he says, not just blow it off or roll your eyes. Be open to finding out about yourself, from his view.

Lastly, make sure you are not guilty of always trying to tell him that he was wrong for everything he did, in every decision he made and so forth. If you are guilty of any of those, why would he talk with you in anything other then placating terms?

A person who is as your husband is, can be infuriating to deal with, for you are never sure who and what you are dealing with at any given point. I have had to deal with people like this and after a while, just wanted to shake the hell out of them. Just do what you can to make sure you will not only allow but also help the real thoughts, feelings, emotions come out, by not being guilty of what I described earlier.

Good Luck.

Answer 6

This is a very big problem for your relationship. You need to talk to him about this and how it makes you feel. A relationship needs to based on trust & honesty and if he can't tell you what he thinks about things then your relationship cannot last.

are the things that he won't open up about, big things? Or do you mean like, do I look fat in this dress? Because also that would be important.

If you absolutely can't get him to open up, then tell him that the relationship is on thin ice & if you feel that it is worth it, I would seek counseling.

Answer 7

Don't give him any clues that would lead him to think you want to hear anything in particular...then hopefully he'll give you his actual opinion...

A guy friend of mine recently broke up with a woman he really adored initially, but he said he discovered that she had no opinion of her own...she agreed with everything he said and did, wouldn't even suggest what to watch on tv...it drove him nuts...

Let your husband know you want him to have an opinion, his own likes and dislikes, even if they aren't yours...it's hard to respect someone who has no mind of their own...

Answer 8

its actually very hard to get a guy like that to open up. but he IS your "husband" and you need to sit down and have a real talk with him about it. tell him exactly whats on your mind and if he reacts in a negative or vicious way, then there is something wrong with him....you'll have to figure it out through couseling or something...but anyway, good luck to u hun

Answer 9

Tell him that you want him to open up. You want him to tell you the truth about everything. But when he does tell u the truth, then you cant be mean or yell at him for it. you both need to talk to each other and express what ur really feeling.

Answer 10

what i do to get my husband to open up to me is get him drinking and he open up like a book.Or you could sit down and tell him that we are in this together not by your self, and we need talk about everything and not just what you think i need to hear.