Help! My mate is turning into a slag but i don't think she realises :|?

Question

Ok so i'm asking this on the internet because if i told anyone i knew it would be classed as slagging her off!

My mate has never had a boyfriend. She is 15 so there's nothing wrong with that, but my worry is she has had sex, kissed lots of boys and done other sexual activites with them. The thing is every boy she has done stuff with she has never liked. I don't understand i think she is desperate as harsh as that sounds. she does not have much interest from lads but i wish she would find someone before she lets anymore of these lads take advantage.
I really don't know how to explain to her because she will probably fall out with me. :| Of course i'm not going to say oh you must be desperate if you let them do this to you and you don't even like them but i want to say something to her about it .

Answer 1

I kind of had the same situation didn't go as far as sex with my mate but went further than kissing. Anyway all i can say is...

If you really want to say something make sure the time is right and be fully prepared to lose her friendship. (not forever i shouldn't think, but until she understands.)

On the other hand you can stand back watch this go on and just be there for her if and when she gets hurt.

You sound like a good friend i think you first sentence proves you don't want to loose her friendship and you don't want to hurt her so I'm sure you will sort this out.

She is probably insecure and craves attention, many girls do!

If i was you I'd just say when it's just you two how come you let boys do things with you when your not even in a relationship with them!!?? in a jokey way.
She will probably answer in a jokey way but beneath that will be some seriousness, that way you will get a better look at how she feels about the situation herself and think about how you can solve it from there.

Good look babe x

Answer 2

It's a shame you can't say to her what you're saying to us just now, because it sounds like the right things to say, from the right person since you're her friend.
She obviously wants to impress and be accepted, but you're right, she's definitely going the wrong way about it.
You know what, I still can't imagine better things to say than what you'e just said here.
Say it to her and take the risk of losing her friendship, otherwise what type of friendship would that be if you just approve everything she does when you do know it's totally wrong for her well being.
Take the risk, it's the best you can do for her.
And if she were to fall out with you, at some point she will remember that you tried to warn her, and hopefully you'll be there for her again when she realizes her mistakes.x

Answer 3

There is lots of pressure involved with sex and sexual activity during teen years whether some realise or not. Perhaps she is not desperate, but reacting to the pressure and feeling like she should be going far. This is not neccessarily pressure from boys, though it could be. Perhaps she believes she needs to do everything to be liked. It could also be pressure from social groups who talk about sex a lot, or magazines for adults that make it sound casual.

The thing to do is talk to her. Tell her it sounds like she enjoys herself with these boys and it's good to have fun, but that you are worried she will be hurt if she does everything and they dump her. Make her realise she doesn't need to rush, and ask her if she is feeling pressurised. Explain that boys respect girls who say no at first.

Answer 4

Go ahead and tell her how it is, how you feel about her behavior.. the truth sometimes hurts, but she probably has never had anyone talk to her face-to-face truefully. Sometimes people act out of control, hoping someone will rescue them from themselves. BE tactful and tell her you are doing this for her good.. Let a grow-up talk to her, if you cannot do this on your own, someone that she trusts and admires.. Sounds to me she needs professional help. By the way how can she be your mate if she is only 15, and what do you mean by mate? Good Luck to you and her in the New Year.

Answer 5

he's abusive. Mentally, verbally, and emotionally. You stated he could be violent and he's on no account hit you in spite of the undeniable fact that it would desire to alright be finest that way. pay attention on your intestine and the undeniable fact which you're feeling "afraid" of him. it is no longer a healthful relationship. you're so youthful and don't desire this. unload him and enjoy a while to your self. there are maximum of issues I study as incorrect and crimson flags on your placed up... those have been in basic terms some: He embarrassed me on my birthday with the aid of attacking a guy at a money element reason he wanted me chuffed birthday, and calling my acquaintances slags in his drunken rage. each and every time he gets under the impact of alcohol he calls me a whore, or a slag, and final time he instructed me I make him experience unwell. yet then he's all lovey dovey day after on the instant. he could be relatively violent and besides the undeniable fact that he's on no account hit me, those days comments he's making make me scared that quickly he will.

Answer 6

Well I guess she's very insecure but it's up to you really. May be you should talk to her about it and if she just throws it back at you go and hang around with your other mates. If she's never had a proper relationship she's going to be really hurt sometime if she just 'plays around' with them or vice versa and may be that'll knock some common sense into the girl. She will learn but you need to talk to her because also sex is illegal under the age of 16.

Answer 7

She's obviously a sad, lonely, insecure little girl.
If she falls out with you because you are trying to help her then it's her loss and not yours. You are evidently sensible enough to see that what she is doing is wrong. Try and talk to her about it and if all else fails tell her you dont want to be mates with a slag and that'll shock her into sorting herself out. The reputation she is carving for herself today when she is young will follow her for years and years.

Answer 8

my friend did the same thing she was really insecure about how she looked, all i can say is that u can't really stop her, just let her go with it, she will grow out of it. just be there for her through thick and thin of it. I know she'll regret it at the end.

You could try talking to her and just explain that she doesn't need to do it, but this could make her do it more

Answer 9

i think you should sit down and talk to her and let her know what other people are scared to say to her....she will think of you as a better friend for telling her trust me.

if everything falls apart when you tell her show her this question because then she must understand how much of a true friend you are.

Best answer :)

Answer 10

If you don`t think you can tell her, write her a letter `from her best mate` expressing your concern and worry. It`s ok saying she`ll grow out of this situation, but she might find herself pregnant before she does.