can be from pregnancy or is a little bit of both??
2006-12-30 07:29:59 · 28 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
it is almost impossible to forgive a person who has betrayed u in some way.u are still bringing it up because he most likely hasn't shown alot of remorse, and u wonder if it will happen again, plus your pregnant, and we do get upset more during this time than other times. most of the time it is resentments,caused from hurts u had that really never got resolved, so every time something else upsets u, this comes back into the picture.
2006-12-30 10:38:06 · answer #1 · answered by jude 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, your question is somewhat vague, but having "forgiven" him (for what offense, real or imagined) and then returning to the same issue tells me that you haven't received closure on that particular issue. Until you're satisfied that he's dealt with this appropriatley, you'll continue on.
By the way, what exactly is the problem? Did you discuss it as a couple, with both of you offering insight and feedback?
You mentioned pregnancy... yes, hormones do run the gamut, but that's not necessarily the story here..
If you're willing to put you're heart out here for us to (hopefully) help you deal, then you might want to be a bit more specific.
Good luck, and if more help is needed, then post again!
2006-12-30 15:38:12 · answer #2 · answered by jjcroftii 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
What's "wrong" with you is that you haven't really developed a sense of closure on the subject which you've supposedly forgiven him. Search your feelings to understand whether you bring up questions or envision different possible scenarios whenever the subject comes to mind. If so, then my suggestion is to talk with him about it.
In the end, if your husband has lost your trust, then some major repair will have to occur. If that's the case, I would seek counseling.
2006-12-30 15:34:11 · answer #3 · answered by mjatthebeeb 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
We try not to bring up our spouses faults after we forgive them but sometimes it happens and we don't mean it. I've done it to my husband and not met it. It's part of being a human and making mistakes. You just have to remeber that you forgave them and you dont' want to bring up what they did anymore. It's hard to but you can do it. Don't make it a habit of it. Once in awhile it happens but if you make it a habit then you haven't forgaven them and you really need to look at that and change it but if you really did forgive him you'll do your best to not bring it up again. Becareful because that could end your marriage and you don't want that. I hope you have forgiven him for whatever he did but don't bring it up again or else he'll think you just said it and didn't mean it. Having our mistakes brought back up hurts and my husband has done that to me but he doesn't do it anymore and I know he forgave me. Watch what you say because our tongues are our worst enemy.
2006-12-30 15:35:05 · answer #4 · answered by Irish Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I totally agree with the first post. U keep bringing it up because you have not gotten over whatever it was. If you want to move on, you have to let it go... Forgive and Forget.
2006-12-30 15:33:23 · answer #5 · answered by Buttercup - VP Bamma Fan Club 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Seems to me you like to "DWELL" on the past. Once it is over with it is over. Dont bring it back up in 6 hrs, 6 wks, or 6 months. It does nothing but cause MORE problems. If you guys have an arguement ask the other one if finished anf if you BOTH have said your mind then IT IS OVER!!!!
2006-12-30 15:34:59 · answer #6 · answered by nickle 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It could be the hormones. But my guess is you have not dealt with the issue and you keep bringing up in order to "make your point heard". Maybe write it out and get the feelings out. If you still feel hard pressed, talk with him about it and deal with the emotions that surface.
2006-12-30 15:33:16 · answer #7 · answered by Katie 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can always forgive but it's impossible to forget. It's normal to feel resentment inside. It's a natural response when you get hurt by someone you care about.
2006-12-30 15:32:09 · answer #8 · answered by 22sa 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
It isn't caused by pregnancy.
What causes this, when you don't fully forget with your heart and mind, you will bring it up again over and over and over and over again.
The only way to truly forgive someone for whatever they have done is to tell them you forgive them, and never ever open your mouth about it again.
Because if you don't, it just opens up all the emotional wounds about that same ol thing.
Alot of people just never can keep their mouth shut about something and keep bringing it up over and over and over again.
some use it as a form of control over other people like thier spouses, children etc. and it does alot of emotional harm over time.
2006-12-30 15:35:40 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
lol nothing. i do it all the time too, it makes my boyfriend so mad! he'll be like ' why do you even tell me its okay if i'm just gonna hear about it later?? '.
it gets old though, and i've learned that when he says he's sorry he really does mean it, and he feels bad about it, so why bring it back up?
if he did it to you, or if my boyfriend did the same thing to me - how would that make us feel? it would make me feel like CRAP. so i try really really hard not to open my mouth as often as i'd like to throw his mistakes back up at him. he's only human and i love him, so when i say i forgive him, then i mean it - and i try with all my heart to let it go.
(and i'm not pregnant)
2006-12-30 15:34:24 · answer #10 · answered by Beth 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋