I am 23 years old and a new mother. My father is dictating when I should or should not bring my 5 month old baby outside, when and what I should feed her at each specific stage, etc. I am an educated person with a bachelor's degree, I have read several "Baby's First Year" books from cover to cover, and I believe that I am credible enough to make my own decisions about being a mother. Of course I go by the book on most things, but instincts on others.
Delimma: I was outside today with my 5 month old (it's 60 degrees out today--comfortable if bundled up), and let her swing for her first time today. I took pictures of her smiling while on the swing and sent the pictures to my dad. He sent a phone text back saying, "Too young! Bring her back inside!"
My dad is constantly making comments like this. I wish I had some tasteful response to give to him when he says things like this.
Any suggestions on tasteful responses? Thank you, I appreciate it! :)
2006-12-30 06:27:30 · 16 answers · asked by Tasha 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Newborn & Baby
Thank you everyone for seeing my point of view. Because he lives almost next door, I can't really let it go, because I feel that his "advice" will snowball into much more than just advice later.
2006-12-30 06:46:31 · update #1
Okay, I just sent him this text message saying:
"I promise I am saying this to you with heart and respect to you. Mothers are given motherly instincts about their children's fun, health, and safety. We tend to go for it too. I would never want to hurt my daughter. It is 60 degrees outside. I need space and respect from you to raise my child the way I see fit. She has had all shots, she was warm, and she also had fun. Thank you for being overprotective though, that makes two of us! Love you!"
Then he replied:
"Whatever."
2006-12-30 06:51:00 · update #2
♥ ♥ dad isnt living close I guess...I think I would just ignore his comments or say thank you I will consider what you are saying. ♥ ♥
2006-12-30 06:29:36 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
There is nothing wrong with a 5 month old going outside and in a swing... I have two children... ages 3 and 7 and both are totally fine... as well I have an educational background in early childhood education and development. Some ppl say that you shouldn't take a new born out the first few weeks so they don't catch things.. we had our first son ( born in Aug) out to fairs.. all over.. the first 2 weeks he was born... and he was and is fine.... your dad is just being over protective.. and if he is really concerned.. tell him to call your doctor and talk to him/her on what is and what isn't right. Is he a Dr? What gives him the right to say wether you can or can't bring her outside. Tell him you appreciate his concern, but you are her mother and you are not going to do anything that would hurt her.. so just back off ( not those words lol) A person could run naked outside in the winter and it doesn't mean they are going to get sick....it is if they touch something that had a virus etc on it... or if someone was to sneeze on them... and yes kids get sick... and get cold after cold.. it is part of parenting....you can read tons of books and each say different things.. you are a parent now,,, you will do the right thing.... a good site to check out is www.child.com and go to the EXPERT section.. you can post ?'s in there as well.... take care!
2006-12-30 14:44:47 · answer #2 · answered by kAtTs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Parents seem to do that. But, I have noticed that if a child is bundled and especially if it is cold out, that their ears and head are covered. (even lightly) I don't have an issue with children being outside in 60 degree weather. It has nothing to do with the child being too young. But did he feel the child was to young to be in the swing? I don't get it. Ask him what he means; let him explain and simply say "I see what you mean, I really don't agree with that angle on it, but I understand where your coming from." He will continue to make his opinion known to you; just simply say right, right, oh ya, I see. And do what your gut tells you. But don't disregard all his suggestions, I'm sure he has a few good ones. As far as children being outside; if the sun is shining and their bundled up, I think its ok. At 5 months old, their heads and ears should be covered. (Not that you needed my opinion, just thought I would give you some backing on the deal)
2006-12-30 14:38:21 · answer #3 · answered by HDGranny 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi well I am a mommy of 4 and have done childcare for a long time baby is 5 mos ? Assuming your daughter is healthy I would think that would be fine . At 5 mos my kids were all eating cereal and the occasional jar of bananas and applesauce (the baby kind) cereal in the bottle not too thick lust like a soupy mixture .Is your dad a doc if so id listen to him of course use your own judgement dont worry have fun with your kid they do grow up reading good books is also helpful .
2006-12-30 14:36:45 · answer #4 · answered by mom 2 a queen 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Since your Dad is far away from you, when you sms or email him pictures dont give him details, it is probably very cold where he was at the time you sent the photos and did not know that you have 60 degree weather.
What you feel right now about your father is normal, he wants to be involve in raising your daughter without knowing that it annoys you in doing so. Since he is not livin with you, I would suggest for you to let it go, dont worry about it. You know what you are doing is right and stick to what you believe is right for you and your daughter. BE HAPPY and enjoy your daughter.
2006-12-30 14:39:09 · answer #5 · answered by trykindness 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand what you are saying. You are an adult, a mother and you are responsible to make your own choices, and others aren't supposed to do it for you. I think it would be best to sit down and have a talk with him. That way, he can't just get out of it the way he can a text message. Calmly explain to him how you are able to make your own decisions and you appreciate his help. Hopefully you guys can work it out. Good luck!
2006-12-30 16:30:04 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how you feel. I have 23 w/a 11 month old son. My gram is always telling me it's too cold to do anything with him, or that he is always cold blah blah blah! LOL! I just say if my son is uncomfortalbe then he will let me know. Which is true, just because babies can't talk doesn't mean they can't communicate with their mothers and fathers.
2006-12-30 20:40:15 · answer #7 · answered by hypnotic_wht_grl_21 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We mothers are given that motherly instint. Go with it. Yes every mother makes mistakes, I know I have and I have 3 children. Sit your dad down and tell him you need space and respect from him to raise your child the way you see fit.
2006-12-30 14:30:20 · answer #8 · answered by snoopysuez 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
i would just say "ok thanks" for a situation where he is not around you and talking to you over the phone or something he wont know the diffrence if you went back inside or not. Eventually if you thank him for his advise and do not always take it he should get the hint. If he does not get the hint you will need to take him aside and explain that you appreciate his advice and understand he is trying to help but that you are going to make your own decisions.
2006-12-30 14:32:07 · answer #9 · answered by downeyoch 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
My mom does the same thing. I remind her from time to time that the are MY kids and if I need any advice I will ask for it. She had her chance raising kids, now it's my turn. Don't worry you will do just fine on your own. Trust your instincts.
2006-12-30 14:35:19 · answer #10 · answered by honeybear 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You might consider not responding at all, and just doing what you please. Most families have someone like that, and are best handled by smiling and nodding and then doing things your own way. So just ignore what he said. He may be offended by 'mind your own business' no matter how nicely you phrase it.
2006-12-30 14:38:14 · answer #11 · answered by KC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋