She is 83 almost 84. She is my everything. She has always been there for me when i needed her and i would litteraly die in side if she were to die. I understand that she is old but i am so close to her i dont want god to take her yet. Shes not ready... im not ready. She still gets around well but i can see it in her eyes shes not doing well. My dad keeps telling me she is going to die and i need to face the music and its just so hard couse i love her so much. the 24th she was cleaning up and helping my grandfather to the bathroom when she grabbed her chest and whispered us to hurry and get her heart pills. She couldnt even talk it scared me to see her like that. I want so bad to help her more but i live 400 miles away from her and i dont drive. I only see her about 3-4 times a year i used to see her more but she had to move closer to my grandpas hospitol. Anyways i just want to know what all i can do to help her and try to make her life longer thanks so much.
~Chrissy
2006-12-30 05:56:26 · 14 answers · asked by Chrissy 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Chrissy, honey, you can't prolong a life that is nearing an end. You make them more comfortable and tell them often of how much they mean to you and how much you love and appreciate them. If they are religious, pray with them, but to prolong a life at it's end is a fruitless struggle and just makes this harder on you and the dear one.
Stay calm in the face of this. After her time is up mourn her, but don't mourn her while she is still alive. As to you dad, just remind him everyone deals with grief differently and his way is no better then your way.
My heart goes out to you. I never had a Grandma and wished I had one as wonderful as yours. Take care and remind yourself, it's peace she is going to. Small comfort I know, but the best I have.
2006-12-30 06:04:01 · answer #1 · answered by Katie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, your dad's right, and if she's having heart problems, she could die tonight. He's just trying to help you get ready for her death when it does happen--because I'm not saying she's going to pass tonight, but it will probably happen sooner rather than later.
It sounds like you might want to talk to a counselor, a minister, or even one of your parents about this. She's probably more ready to pass than you are to lose her, but you need to realize that death is a very natural part of life. Maybe you're scared of death, maybe you're scared that you won't know what happens to her after she dies, maybe this is going to be your first experience with losing someone close to you. You don't sound very old, and since you don't drive I'm assuming you're rather young--younger than 16. I understand being close to your grandma, but saying she's your everything isn't healthy for you. You should have other people in your life that love and support you, and they'll help you through this loss (and others) when they happen.
There's nothing you can do that will lengthen her life, she'll go when it's time for her to go. What you can do is spend as much time with her now, and even though you can't physically be with her, you can still call her on the phone, and write letters (grandparents aren't great at email usually.) Send her photos of you, grandmas LOVE stuff like that. Work on making the time she has left and the time she has left with you the best time it can be. Best of luck to you and God bless.
2006-12-30 06:05:24 · answer #2 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Theres nothing you can do. I belive our time is marked from birth and when its time its time. Regardless what you belive you cant extend someones life. 84 years is a pretty full life. And maybe its time to start making admends. See if there a way you can go stay wit her for a week. IF shes really dying nothing will be more important than her. school work nothing. My dad died when i was 20. at 44 years he didnt get a real long life but yet i know everyone of those years was special. keep that in mind with your grandmotehr you got much more time with her than most people get wit their parents, sibilings or even life mates.
Im sorry bout your Grandma Stay strong!
2006-12-30 06:02:32 · answer #3 · answered by fine_ass_fatty21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's always hard to lose someone you love so much, but it's an inevitable part of life. Try to find comfort in the fact that she has lived a full, long life, so much more than many people are blessed with, and know that she will be with God when her time comes. Grief requires three things: tears, talking, and time, the most healing is time. Remember all the good memories, someone who lives in our memories is never truly gone.
2006-12-30 06:55:08 · answer #4 · answered by harlowtoo 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Call her often. Tell her jokes and talk about something funny. Ask her about when she was little and about her school and her best friends. Ask her about her realatives and her Aunts and Uncles.
Send her letters of what you did today or a great day. Send her Pictures. They love letters and pictures and Nice cards. Make sure that you write extra neat and Print.
She will love that. Ask her to send you pictures of har and when she was a little girl or teenager. Whatever she has.
I can understand how you feel about your grandma. I've heard some people say just let "it go" as if any person or feelings are and "it". People and feelings arens like a lost sock or a puppy. Your feelings are good cause they are yours. Everyone thinks different. Old people are the most precious to me. Extra Special.
2006-12-30 06:04:33 · answer #5 · answered by Babe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
what you told all of us here about how you feel about grandma...tell her too. Spend as much time as you can with her now. If you can, tape her talking about her life and your family; that makes a nice family history too. Just give her lots of hugs and smiles...and help her with anything you can.
Look hon, this is not going to be easy. But in the end, if you tell her how you feel, you will remember. I hope you will be ok hon. Sending you all the stength and hugs I have.
2006-12-30 07:24:57 · answer #6 · answered by the witch 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dad lives with us and he is 99. Everyone is going to die sometime. Be thankful she has already lived beyond normal life expectancy. Even after she is gone she can still be with you everyday. It's called memories. Whenever I miss my mother, I just think of times together and it's like she's here again.
2006-12-30 06:06:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't really prolong an elderly person's life. You just have to enjoy the time you have left with them, make sure you tell them how you feel about them. Then realize that when her time comes, she's in peace and watching over you. She may be gone from this earth, but she'll always be in your heart.
2006-12-30 05:59:40 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Chrissy hunnie....everyone has to go someday...This life is only temporary but then the next will be eternal. God willing you will both be in heaven together.
2006-12-30 05:58:57 · answer #9 · answered by anonymous 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well if she gose then remeber of all the good time you've had with her.its ok to morn for a while.(i your religous then pray for her)and not to be mean at all(i an asshole to say this)plz get over it faster and better than i did.
2006-12-30 07:28:27 · answer #10 · answered by Marty C(stalker of fear) 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋