2006-12-30 03:02:00 · 5 answers · asked by luvbugz87 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
I do the same thing. It's hard to say no to my friends and family because I feel that if I CAN help them, I SHOULD, even if it means my own emotional or physical needs aren't being met. I worry like mad about other peoples' problems. I want to fix everything for everyone.
I recently had a family tragedy, and I pretty much have to start putting myself first because there's not much left of me to give to anyone else. One of the best things I'[ve learned is the simple phrase, "Let me think about it and get back to you." As people pleasers, we tend to say, "yes" right away if someone needs something. This buys you time to come up with some type of "no" answer.
You have to be epecially careful around any "bulldozer" friends you have -- you know, the ones who can't seem to take no for an answer. If you have especially needy or demanding friends, try to avoid them a bit for now so you can gain some energy and time back for yourself. There's nothing wrong with not taking a phone call. There is nothing wrong with taking it, realizing it's your same old friend complaining about the same old problem, and make up an excuse to get off the phone, (call on the other line, house on fire, depending on your age you could have homework or screaming kids to contend with -- you get the idea.
It's hard to say no -- especially if you're a nurturing person, you identify yourself with helping others, and you place a lot of value on your friendships. It's something you need to do though, and you need to do that by taking little, bitty baby-steps. You can't change who you are, and you can't change the fact that you care, but you can slowly change the way you react when someone is leaning on you too hard.
Good luck with this! It's a constant struggle for me too!
2006-12-30 04:00:38 · answer #1 · answered by jujsky 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Take it from someone who is the same way and still working on it... You have got to disappoint some people sometimes. It is an annoying feeling but you HAVE to. No ONE person can please the entire world all at the same time, be happy that you are probably known as an extremly sweet person and that usually out weighs any discomfort :P
2006-12-30 11:06:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just say NO....it gets easier with practice, as breaking any bad habit does. Be strong!
2006-12-30 11:05:30 · answer #3 · answered by INDRAG? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Learn to say no and mean it.
2006-12-30 11:04:29 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
get a backbone.....and oh yea learn how to say NO!!!!!!
2006-12-30 11:04:35 · answer #5 · answered by eniwloow 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋