I'm looking for serious answers here. Nothing along the lines of "duh" or "of course".
I'm just wondering, because I haven't been able to find a woman who thinks that it's important for a man to live his life with integrity. Most women that I know think that it's great when a man is unfaithful, lazy, bullying, and dishonest in general. They view him as being a "bad boy" who has "edge" and is a "challenge".
On the other hand, a man who is confident, mentally and physically healthy, a community leader, intelligent, romantic, honest, and would be a devoted husband and father, is seen as "boring" and "too nice".
Why is this? Do these women have low self-esteem and think that they don't deserve better . . . or, do men of integrity have to start being losers in order for women to appreciate them?
I look forward to your intelligent and well-thought-out answers.
2006-12-30 01:08:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It is by far the woman's problem and not yours. What happens is the woman marries this misfit and tries to change him into you and after marriage it never works. Intelligent women look for you before marriage and marry men like you.
Manners, integrity, character, honesty and loyalty always matter and are wonderful traits. Do not let any woman belittle you or bring you down. One day you will meet that special someone and you'll wonder why you even thought about those other women.
2006-12-30 01:16:42 · answer #1 · answered by Jeancommunicates 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are hanging around the wrong women. Bad girls like bad boys. The women I know want confident, romantic intelligent, honest and the two things I look for is a sense of humor and a stable mood. After all, the thing that is more important than anything else is to wake up with a man in a great mood and to go to bed with a man that is in a great mood. A man that comes home in a great mood. I just hate moody men. To me, sexy is knowing what you can expect out of a man.
2006-12-30 01:31:58 · answer #2 · answered by sunny 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You are obviously looking in the "all wrong places" if you are finding this kind of response!
Sounds like you are hanging out at the local pub, or water cooler at the plant!
There are PLENTY of REAL WOMAN that find confident, mentally and physically healthy , community leaders, who are also intelligent, romantic,and honest men quite appealing!
But there are many OTHER things that need to be there too...
Remember that WOMEN are a "complex ed species"...therefore..they will NOT just fit into a little mold you have ready for them!
A man should be well groomed, ie: clean hair, smell good, sparkling white teeth, clear eyes that glisten when they talk or laugh...they should be neatly and appropriately dressed, which also includes CLEAN CLOTHES...they should have on clean shoes, that are not too worn....
The most desirable men also have a lot of self confidence (but not conceit!) a quick witted sense of humor and able to laugh at himself...he should also be compassionate, well mannered and polite.....have a fondness for animals, the elderly and a tolerance and kindness for children.
He should also be able to maintain a neat and orderly house on his own...do a little cooking..washing...and dusting.
The (nearly) perfect man...should be aware of his surroundings and be able to pick up the subtle hints that may be given out by the female... He should have plenty of things to talk about other than sports or politics.
It is also desirable for men to be reasonably attractive,and physically fit (this does NOT mean you have to be a Brad Pitt or have pumped up muscles!)
Yes..there are PLENTY of (us!) women "out there" that have appealing qualities that men are looking for.... so...now...
WHERE ARE YOU MEN???!? lol!
2006-12-30 01:15:59 · answer #3 · answered by Amy 1 · 1⤊ 1⤋
A man with integrity is a rare diamond, and i have been lucky to find one, these women who much prefer those men without any of the qualities you have mentioned above, like to live life in the fast lane and thinks it adds to the excitement, i dont really think it has anything to really do with their low self-esteem, it's just the thrill, or excitement they want, but i'd much rather have the real passion, and fire with a good man. These women who stay with these bad boy's so to speak, only thing these women are destined for in the end is a repeat performance of broken relationships, and continuous drama in their lives.
2006-12-30 01:24:30 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
If they are raised with common sense, then yes they want a man with character and integrity. The problem today is that people think like dingbats. "Love will conquer all, but I love him, but we love each other, I can't control who I love", it's all a bunch of romantic nonsense, and yet women make huge decisions based on their FEELINGs without a lick of sense to back them up. You don't want a woman like this anyway, trust me! My hubby has wonderful character, and I don't find him boring at all, although I have heard him say the same things you say, Nice guys finish last, that sort of thing. Hang in there, the right woman will come along eventually....and possibly you are looking in the wrong places!
2006-12-30 01:48:45 · answer #5 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
The man you described is the man I am looking for...
After a long marriage to a "bad boy" my standards are MUCH higher, and I won't settle until someone like that comes along. My guess is that you are meeting "girls" and not women who are confident, intelligent, and discriminating.
Keep living your life with character and integrity...you will find someone who deserves YOU!
2006-12-30 01:27:32 · answer #6 · answered by in love love love... 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are plenty of women (?most) who value a man's character. She has to when she is thinking of long term plans like marriage, family, and children. You are looking in the wrong places.
Look for women who are confident, healthy, romantic, intelligent, honest, and who want a role of respect in their community.
Whatever you do, don't become a loser to attract losers. Continue to think "big picture".
2006-12-30 01:19:24 · answer #7 · answered by DrB 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
hmmm....I think that you are meeting the wrong women! There are lots of women that would love to meet a confident, intelligent and honest man and most believe that the species is extinct! Yes, there are women who go for the bad boys and there are certainly women who take physical and emotional abuse from men and keep going back for more....but I don't believe that all women are like that....try looking in different places......you sound like a nice guy and I wish you luck and success in your search.
2006-12-30 01:24:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well... "bad boys" are definitely attractive. The whole idea of trying to lure a guy and make his "only yours" inspite of his having many "fans" is any teenage girl's dream come true. But thats an initial phase, where movies-glorified-bad-boys are the IN thing. Later on in life, it is realised that the character of a person and his behaviour is more important than the 6-pack abs, 5-6 girls dying to woo him etc etc.
So, dont worry, perhaps you came across the first lot of girls. You would soon find a mature girl who understands whats good and whats not :)
2006-12-30 02:11:31 · answer #9 · answered by ginger 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
I'm sorry that you feel this way and apologize for the women who have treated
you this way. I blame media for the way society glorifies sex. People are
valued only for the way they look because both sexes think of nothing other
than procreation as recreation. It is too much for the mass majority to have
a different perspective when they are fed this garbage daily on TV, movies,
and magazines. Everyone is striving for a youthful, sexy appearance when
we should all be more concerned with the state of the world. We should
be helping and caring for others, not looking in a mirror.
2006-12-30 01:15:45 · answer #10 · answered by sunnymommy 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋