My friends tell me that I should move on with my life as far as my relstionship with my husband. I feel that it isn't right in Gods eyes and won't.
2006-12-30 00:40:39 · 32 answers · asked by neveah t 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I felt the same way after my divorce. But, seeing as how he moved right on with his life and started dating immediately and our divorce proceedings were seeming to drag on forever I decided that it wasn't fair for me to put my life on hold and I started dating and having a blast. I am now re-married and I have no qualms about what I did.
2006-12-30 00:44:59 · answer #1 · answered by SchrodingersTigress 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can move on emotionally and mentally without starting to actively date. Plenty of people date others and haven't moved past the emotional baggage they've got. By taking some time, it will help you in our future relationships.
I am right with you - I am separated. Our divorce will be finalized in the new year. I have been working on moving forward with my life. I have been asked out on dates, but have not accepted any. In my eyes (and in God's) I am still a married woman. I cannot legally move on, so it's wise for me to just "stay the course" and think of the future and prepare, but not necessarily act on anything.
Besides, it appears there may be a reconcilation...and if there is, I know that I have done nothing to cause any problems in the future...I have not done anything of which I would have regrets or not be proud of.
So follow your gut instinct. And just smile and nod when your friends tell you to "move on." They are thinking in your best interest, but they are not you...only you can do what is best for you!
2006-12-30 01:46:42 · answer #2 · answered by whatever 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well from personal experience >I too feel it is wrong to date, unless you are legally free. It's a respect to the sanctity of marriage. It may be either persons fault, but let the judicial system give you your divorce decree, and than start dating. In the meantime get to know yourself.. call your girlfriends up, travel, learn a new hobby. When the divorce is over you will know exactly what you want and need in another person. The passage of time heals all wounds. You will not dwell on the past, but look to the future with open eyes.
2006-12-30 03:02:56 · answer #3 · answered by sexymama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are your friends that suggest you moving on Divorced or married or single? You have made it this far. I finally had my FIRST civil meeting with my wife in separation last night after 5 months. I can not go on this way and the anger, frustration & hurt must stop. However, I do NOT want to give her one thing to complicte matters like her feeling betrayed or questioning that I was unfaithful ebefore this which we both have never been. If my situation moves forward to your current reality, I want a smooth trasition and no more mind games. I want to clear the hoop do it right then move on free & clear. I hope that makes sense. No reason to come back and challenge anything. If the relationship you are seeking it sworth it it can wait a few months.
2006-12-30 01:02:05 · answer #4 · answered by bSquirrel 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am going through the same thing. I am a christian and have not seen anyone while going through my divorce, while she had someone living with her 3 days after our seperation. However it is for different reasons. Nowhere in the Bible will you find anything about a piece of contractual paper that your marriage is dependent on. That is a human creation. Right now you are waiting for another piece of paper telling you the contract is null and void. Only you know when you are ready to begin again. However, don't let something pass you by because you are afraid. The most important thing is to be happy with yourself and live life.
2006-12-30 01:06:55 · answer #5 · answered by senmonwabio 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have about the same problem but reversed. The man I like is married and living separated from his wife due to their marital problem. For the life of me, I swear I don't want to be a homewrecker and can't bring myself to get intimate with him. Of course he doesn't mind to get intimate because in his eyes (much like yours now) his marriage is over. But I've got advices that I should wait until the divorce is final and considering other people's experiences, I think this is the best choice.
I can see how lonely and dreadful he is and maybe that is how you feel now. So I will have to leave you to make the call.
2006-12-30 00:48:10 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think it all depends.....how long has the divorce process been going on? If it has only been recently, then it may be too soon. You don't want to come off looking easy and desperate so quickly after a breakup. I always say it's nice to give it some time so you can think about what you want in your next relationship. If the divorce process has been going on for some time now, and it's going to be inevitable what the end result is (that you're not going to try and work it out) then I'd say it's ok to start dating again if you're ready.
2006-12-30 00:44:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi,
I was faced with the same delima...I found someonce special and although we were both going thru a divorce we could no stop seeing each other.The tuffer things got..the stronger our love got..We could not be apart...but , be there for each other always...and be prepared for some rocky roads. It will require lots of Patience and Prayer. We have never lost our love for one-another and we are stronger from this experience and extreamly In-Love..It will be easier to move on once your divorced. Good luck and never take Love for granted...I am In Love for the first time in my Life..
2006-12-30 00:57:24 · answer #8 · answered by rickmeister 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should wait on God til the very last minute (don't take this in another direction until it is absolutely clear there is no other direction to go)....who knows, miracles have been known to happen when He is in the equation....Is there no way to restore your marriage?...have you gone to counseling?...Have you opened yourself to the Lord fully, not based on your own personal feelings?...I just know, close to 20 years ago I can tell you I was in a very very dead marriage...had a minister come to our door...He wanted to know if God could do something for us....I said "well....can you bring back to life a dead marriage?"...I have to tell you, I was just kind of being smart when I said it, thinking I already knew the answer, NO!....but to my surprise, it didn't turn out that way....the first step was I said to God..."Okay God...I choose to forgive my husband, not based on any warm fuzzy feelings, but simply out of obediance to you....You know what I am feeling, so it is up to you to restore feelings, because it feels impossible to me"...Now...having said this....my husband was a willing participant in all this...obviously you can not force someone else to choose to try and save a marriage....but any how....we had our 25th wedding anniversary this year. I have no clue what your situation is, and I am not judging you....I just wanted you to know, that God is the almighty restorer...even where you thought it was impossible...What ever direction your life goes....He is your restorer....Be Blessed....
2006-12-30 01:35:35 · answer #9 · answered by ticklemeblue 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, then wait for the divorce papers. I'm not a believer in God and such but isnt it also not right in Gods eyes to divorce? Just a thought.
2006-12-30 00:58:56 · answer #10 · answered by Mean Carleen 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋