If he doesn't want to hurt me, why is he continuing his affair?
2006-12-30 00:30:52 · 27 answers · asked by ayquechula 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
what He is really saying I didn't want you to find out about the affair. Most people never figure they will get caught.
2006-12-30 00:35:24 · answer #1 · answered by Roger W 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The thing you're not realizing you need to care more about you! He is just being selfish, if the shoe was on the other foot how do u think he would react?? seperate or divorce. You need to take control of your life and get more self-esteem - there are men out there who would appreciate and respect u. And, not take advantage of you and walk over you like he is doing right now. He know that you're not going anywhere the worst is over and u know. And, what has happen nothing, there were no consequences for him basically. You know and life goes on....take heed this man is very selfish and doesnt care about anyone, not even him self because if he did he would have some regret and dignity and feel bad as to how he's treating u. Because, you have been there and still there would circumstance is telling u this isnt right. Wake up friend, be strong and get control over your life - we're about to enter a new year, don't take this baggage with u.
2006-12-30 02:06:01 · answer #2 · answered by Nedda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you need to focus on you right now. It is apparent that he will not change his behavior no matter how much it hurts you. He is selfish and gets something from the other woman and he can't break it off. He is going to keep hurting you, or will see the other woman behind your back. But he already knows that you will stay by his side. You know he is having an affair and you are still with him.
Kick him out, get divorced or separated. Let him know that you will not put up with this kind of behavior. Of course it is going to hurt, but everyday you will grow stronger. If you hang on right now, then you will just continue hurting.
If you really want this to work, seek counseling. Make him go with you and see if he is willing to change. If he's not willing, then you can't make him and you are better off without him.
2006-12-30 04:03:41 · answer #3 · answered by torn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
That is pure guilt trip in my opinion. I have been unhappy, so has my wife yet we both know if one was unfaithful we'd leave the other. He is hurting you and him and the one he has an affair with. The way he treats you is the very way she will treat him in the end. Hang in there but go down swinging, well not literally, but tell the truth like it is, like you see it every day. I did a lot of things wrong to cause my marriage to be in a separation right now and pray we can reconcile. If I was lucky enough to keep her after cheating on her I would not be "pooping too close to the house" like he is. This is ridiculous and from a mans point of view, he knows its wrong. God love you for asking now lower the hammer on him in court make sure you have solid proof. Good luck and you will find someone who wont do this to you.
2006-12-30 01:09:52 · answer #4 · answered by bSquirrel 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why are you continuing to let this man treat you that way? If he didn't want to hurt you he wouldn't be having an affair.
You need to leave him but you will not until you are ready to do so. It is a very hard thing to do but staying with him will ruin you both mentally and physically.
Best of luck
2006-12-30 00:48:39 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hi, you had every right that you found out that your husband had cheated on you. He had no right to do that, he is breaking your wedding vows. If he is cheating on you, you need to leave him or kick him out it is not fair on you, you deserve better than that. He must've been in a lot of shock when you found out by yourself. Your husband is doing a wrong thing by you. Im sure you'll make a wise decision. If he was my husband i'll be telling him to pissoff and i would never wanna see him again. Sorry this must be hard for you to hear. But the decision is yours to make
2006-12-30 00:47:02 · answer #6 · answered by janelle w 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your husband is in an affair and continuing in an affair and he's still your husband?
you need to take control of your life.
2006-12-30 00:33:51 · answer #7 · answered by Goddess T 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'm sorry you are hurt, but could he possibly love this other woman? If that is the case, let him go. Even if you love him, let him go. He probably does not want to hurt you, but this has happen now so best thing for you is to be without him. You want someone to want you not someone else. Good luck
2006-12-30 00:42:04 · answer #8 · answered by missy j 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because, he doesn't want to hurt you, and he doesn't want to be the one to break things off with you, split your marriage. So there's two things, he wants to stay married with you so you can take care of his home and his kids (if there are any) and get a little extra lovin' on the side for excitement OR he really does want to break things off with you but he lacks the courage to do so, therefore, you can look like the bad guy for breaking things off, if he acts poorly enough you will eventually get fed up with him. You need to decide what you want and take steps...
2006-12-30 00:39:51 · answer #9 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ironic isn't it? He doesn't want to hurt you....yet he continues to do so. At this point, actions speak louder than words. Move on and get a new start with a new year coming. Do what is best for you.
2006-12-30 00:34:43 · answer #10 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋