Local love changing to long distance love... Looking for opinions...?

Question

I've been seeing my girlfriend for awhile now, but last week everything changed quickly. About a month ago her father accecpted a job offer in North Carolina, a state about 750 miles away. He has a retirement home 2 hours away from where he will be working and plans to spend the weekends with his wife there and offered getting an apartment with my girlfriend during the week in the city he will work his last few years in. She considered staying here with me in New England, but wasn't sure. That and fights about stupid things added up and caused a major arguement. She is now dead set on moving, but said she wants to try and make it work. I really don't like it here either, and have no problem relocating, but it seems like everytime we talk she keeps bringing up the bad parts of the past and my anger. I realize I have an anger problem (in general, not toward her) and I am taking an anger management course that seems to be helping alot, but she seems distant... Need help/opinions...

Answer 1

Time and patience man, time and patience. Long distance is the most difficult type of relationship to deal with, I should know i'm dealing with it now :). But what it boils down to is time and patience, OH...and let's not forget how much you seriously love your significant other.

For me it's easy because I'm a loyal one-man type of guy...I love my baby with my LIFE and in essence she's pretty much what keeps me going in the struggles of deployments and life in general (military). AND FORTUNATELY for me, she has the exact same character as I do...and just as much love, so i don't have to worry about her getting some wild hair and needing to "release' her lust so to speak, my trust and love in her is pretty damn legit.

NOW....with that being said i'm not gonna say we don't argue about stuff that's similar to your case. BUT we talk about it, as mature and patient adults we look at the case scenario, try to understand each other's point of view, and then come up with some kind of solution or compromise. And in the end, we do our best not to end our conversation negatively, forgiveness, focus on another subject and whatever normally gets us back to being madly in lust for each other again...and all is well.

I'm a very intimate person as far as affection and physical contact, so that's the most painful part of long distance, but in essence being forced to maintain a relationship through communication teaches VALUABLE lessons as far as getting to know each other without the perks of sex and affection, so in the end when the opportunity arises where we can finally llive together without distance...we've already bonded both communicably AND physically...and hopefully it's just BLISS afterwards.

Time and patience man, problems will always arise, it's how you and your mate handles it and finds the greater good amongst the storm that will determine your success in this relationship with her....good luck.

Answer 2

FOCUS ON YOUR SELF. SOUNDS LIKE SHE MAY LEAVE YOU.