Ive just had an arguement (again!) with my mum, but she always calls me a c*ow and a b*itch mainy a time during the arguement. Im sick of the way she treats me and i feel she has no respect for me. Why should I forgive her this time? If a friend spoke to me like that it would be goodbye forever. I wanna wash my hands of my mum and never speak to her again, am I wrong with feeling this angry?
2006-12-29 23:29:40 · 26 answers · asked by jessie 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
What is mom is doing is wrong. It's NOT ok to call your child names, no matter what they do wrong, but Im sure its out of frustration. Tell her it hurts you when she says those things. If she continues, try to avoid her as much as possible. Everytime she says something that hurts you, look in the mirror and tell yourself you are NOT those things. Tell yourself you are a beautiful, smart, and great person. Whats important is that that you love and respect yourself. When you are done with high school, you can go away to college, and start your life, and surrond youself around people who respect you. Dont hate your mom, feel sorry for her that she has to resort to name calling, one day she'll realize she was wrong, and hopefully ask you for your forgiveness. Just remember that you are a special person and not those nasty things she says you are. Keep your chin up honey!
2006-12-29 23:43:12 · answer #1 · answered by misstikal311 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think you are wrong, specially since you're obviously very upset and angry.
You didn't choose to feel like that because she was being horrible.
Now, it could be that this was the way she was herself treated by her own mum, and you know, it's usually something that people tend to reproduce, even if they do know how it hurts and so on...
So, I suppose I would forgive her, because it will take you as much energy to keep a grudge against her.
What's more, if this hurts, it's because you love her, and care about her opinions.
So it will hurt as much if you decide not to forgive her.
It may not at first, but it will later, and you will also feel very guilty.
Maybe you should stay away for a short while, or whenever she starts calling you name, just go out and leave her there.
That should make her think.
But I do understand how it makes you feel.x
2006-12-30 04:14:44 · answer #2 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A lot of people deal w/their children, spouses etc. the same way they were brought up. She may not realize how hurtful it is when she calls you names, she may not even realize that she's doing it. Maybe in a calmer setting, when you guys are getting along, you could just point out to her that while you realize that you guys don't always see eye-to-eye, in the future when you have a disagreement, you'll try your hardest to keep in clean, not call names or raise your voice, and you would appreciate if she did the same, because once she starts calling you names, whatever the original issue was becomes lost at the hurt you feel (which might be, unknowingly her objective)
2006-12-30 00:35:03 · answer #3 · answered by reddevilbloodymary 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
WOW!! You are absolutely right to be outraged!! You are never to accept that kind of behavior! From ANYONE!! How in the world can she expect you to make healthy choices if this is the example she is setting? You do not need to forgive her, or even like her just because she is your Mum. You will all ways love her, but if you need to separate your self from her verbal abuse.. That's right!! Abuse!!, then take steps to do that. You are a good and viable human being and you deserve more respect that that. You can try., to speak to her telling her that you no longer intend to accept her behavior, and that when she speaks to you like that you will be forced to leave the conversation. (hang up the phone, walk away or out, etc.) If she still doesn't abide your request, you need to decide if you want to converse with her at all. There is nothing wrong with protecting yourself from abuse. Best of luck to you!!
2006-12-29 23:59:53 · answer #4 · answered by sunkissed 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Everyone can feel this way when it comes to parents and arguements, but you've got to realise, even though your mum might not be the most favourite person you wanna be with, but she did bring you into this world, so she has to be thanked for something.
It's hurtful when your own mother says such horrid words to you, but sometimes you've just gotta let them pass and carry on with your life.
Don't hold a grudge on your mum, just be sivalised.
If you really can't stand her, then just move on, its as simple as that, but don't loose contact, because she won't live forever and once shes gone, shes gone forever.
2006-12-29 23:35:12 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your certainly not wrong for feeling that angry, nobody should be spoken to like that...period.
However forever is a very long time. I certainly think you need to give yourself some space from your Mother, & time for your anger to subside.
Only then, should you make a decision about how you wish your relationship with your Mother to proceed, if at all.
I think a wise move would be to arrange to meet her somewhere neutral for a coffee, or maybe some lunch/dinner & try to have a calm, adult conversation with her about her behaviour. Make it clear that although you don't like arguing with her, you can deal with it. What you cannot tolerate any longer is the verbal abuse which you receive. Make it clear that she will lose you forever if she does not change.
Interestingly you don't say how you react to your Mother when she calls you these names. Do you sink to her level as retaliation? If you do, then you need to explain to your Mother why.
I wish you luck, as you have some tough decisions to make heading into 2007.
2006-12-30 03:02:41 · answer #6 · answered by Kingbee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think your Mom owes you an apology. I do agree that you should forgive her but I also think you should try to have a heart to heart talk with her about the way you argue with each other. There should be no name calling from anyone. That's very childish.Maybe you could discuss the things that really hurt you and try to make her understand that it really hurts you deeply when she calls you names. You guys should set some ground rules for disagreements. Sometimes it is necessary to agree to disagree.
2006-12-30 02:07:53 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be respected, just because she is your mum she has not got the right to disrespect you. I would just forgive and forget her. You need to carry on with your life, you deserve to be loved and respected. Do not let anyone abuse you. You also have to think if you are ready to let her go for good. Whatever the choice you make Good Luck!
2007-01-01 03:33:20 · answer #8 · answered by superstar68 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
forgive her if you dont want to be bitter.
I dont think you are wrong for feeling angry. Your mom is mistreating you so you are entitled to feel that way. But holding a grudge wont help.
Whatever she does she is still your mom.
I wonder why she calls you names and disrespects you, but she must have a reason. She must have an emotional problem or something.
Try to understand her and forgive her this time, not only because she is the one who bore you but also because you dont want to be angry all the time or get sick....do u?
2006-12-29 23:39:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never speaking to your mom again is not the right answer.
You are not wrong for feeling this way--I would be so pissed if my mom called me a cow or b*tch!
Tell her, "As a mother, what kind of example are you setting for me?!" Leave her alone for a while and maybe she'll get the idea.
2006-12-29 23:33:20 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋