My Dads Cheating On My Mom What Do I Do?

Question

Ok im 15 my name is David and it all started on last weekend when one of my moms friend came to visit, i consider her as and aunt i nevr new this was happening but i was just having so much fun with her and then one night, her my dad and i were watching TV and my dad was tired so he said he wanted to go to bed (upstairs) and my aunt said oh ill turn off the Christmas tree cause we didnt like keeping it on all night i was still sitting on the coach and i wanted to play a prank on her and i went to hide so i can scare her when she comes back i noticed she wasnt coming i thought she went up stairs to get sumtin so i decided to hide near the stairs as i walked over there i saw her GIVING MY DAD HEAD! i was so scared so i walked back to the coach and i was done tried to forget it. but i caught them downstairs again with her hand on his shoulders and then just a few hours too. So should i tell him i noe but i dont want my parents to SPLIT UP! and my aunt leaves in a few days. FORGET IT?

The thing is im just to scared to approach my Dad hes the kind of dad that im afraid to talk to about this stuff to. Im not that close with him any more. I had to learn about sex from my friends and i learned to swim from my friends i learn mostly every thing from my friends and nothing from him and i think he can get violent if i do confront him. So what am i to do? I wanted to run away from Home so many times this last week i just wanted to blow up in his face right in front of every one! im just really scared and im afraid that i just cant do it. i think im just going to have to keep it to my self cause i cant handle this its to much for me im just going to hold within me till i go to college cause i dont expect to come back home after that. Im running away from home after all this.

Answer 1

That is terrible. I'm sorry you had to see that. You need to tell your mother. She has a right to know what's going on and the longer it goes on the more in jeopardy your parents' marriage will be, so you're better off letting her know now.

Answer 2

LOL! Wow. Here is the deal. First of all, most women know they're being cheated on. So your mom probably already knows....but I don't think it's a good idea to say anything to her. The main reason is that it won't change anything - they have to have been together for at least 15 years right? You'll say he did, he'll say he didn't and Aunt Tramp will say she didn't. Then where does that leave you?
Here is a better idea.....let your dad know that you know. Come right out and say it. Something like "Hey can't Aunt ____ give me a BJ too or do you get some senior discount?" I SWEAR to god, you should do this. Then watch the money start coming your way. Once he knows that YOU know, he will do anything to keep you quiet. It is a very adult dilemma you're facing. And I am serious about my advice. You're dad isn't going to change. If it's not Aunt Happy Ending, it would be someone else. What good would it do to say something to your mom? Really? Even if she didn't know or suspect something? It would destroy her life. And for what? Ignorance is bliss. Sometimes not knowing is better. I know a couple that has been married for 30 years. His wife WITNESSED him cheating on her. Not once or twice - more like 15 times since they were married. He isn't very smooth, so she always catches him holding some chicks hand or hugging another woman. But she hasn't left him. There is big drama at the time though.Some relationships just don't make sense.........

Answer 3

I am so sorry, this is crap that your Dad would do this and that you are in this position. I do not think you should tell your Mom, at least not at first. I think you should confront your Dad in public, so that if he does have a tendancy to be voilent, then he can't do much to you, say at a restaurant or something like that. Tell him that he has put you in a horrible position, that you refuse to keep this a secret from your mother, and give him a week to tell her, and let him know that after a week, you will tell her, because for her to find out later that you kept it secret might make her feel doubly betrayed. And don't let him convince you that it was a one time thing and it will never happen again, and it has nothing to do with you etc. You let him know that the minute he did something intimate with that other woman, IN YOUR HOME, he brought you into this mess. And you simply can't continue on knowing what you know, and he has no right to expect you to keep it a secret. Don't let him talk you into anything, because you will regret it. So stick to the week, give him a week (maybe even secretly tape the conversation) because he might deny it if you are forced to reveal this to your mother, and then your mother, might rather believe you would lie than her husband cheat. Sorry, sorry, sorry your Dad is such a jerk.

Answer 4

OMG. That is awful. That is absolutely disgusting and I'm so sorry you had to be a witness to them committing such an awful betrayal towards your Mother.

What a horrible secret for you to have inside and I wished to heck you had not seen it, even if it had occured, the fact you had to catch them out and now you're saddled with this burden.

First of all, I would suggest you pray about this, as that is the first and most important thing you can ever do in a situation like this (or in any situation). To be left bearing this on your own is far too much, especially at your age. Share it with God, even though He already knows, talk to Him about it and tell Him how you feel.

He doesn't want your parents marriage to split either! He created marriage and the intention is for both couples to remain faithful to their vows till death do they part. BEing human, being weak and being sinful, so many of us human creatures fail to live up to what God is asking.

As for what actions to take? I would be in the same position as you. I have no idea. I'd simply walk around with a knot in my gut and feelings of shock, anger and disallusionment.

I would quite possibly confront my father with what I had seen him and your aunt do and how this betrayal of his marriage vows made you feel as a son to see this. On top of the fact that your MOther's own sister was the other offending party to this.

But whatever you do, pray about this, as it's a serious situation and I don't know whether you should leave it alone and let things come out of their own accord, or go and say something. You may find in time, things will start to come out in ways you won't be able to help. At this time, you're in shock and I don't know if you'd be ready to take action. Prayer is your best bet for now, ask God to guide you to take the best possible action about this, so that a marriage might still be saved!

That's your Mum and Dad and they are married, regardless and in God's eyes, your Aunt is going to answer in ways she cannot imagine. She has come between two married people and God warned anybody about that. Your Father allowed it to occur and obviously weakened to her advances or vice versa, but both are equally guilty and responsible.

Share the burden with God, and let things lie for now. He'll guide you in time.

Answer 5

Its tough I cuahgt my dad cheating on my mom when I was 13. I told my mom and life was hell well for the rest of the time I was living there. My parents didn't get a divorce or anything, though they should have would have made things easier on my brother and me. But my parents relatiosnhip with me changed, I never trusted my dad again and I couldn't still can't figure out why my mom didn't leave.

I would comfront you aunt about it and tell her you saw.

Sorry I couldn't be of more help

Answer 6

If you don't want your parents to split up, then don't do anything that will make such a split up more likely.

If you tell your mom about this, then how do you think she will feel about it? The whole thing can end up in a big argument between your mom and your dad. They may separate. And your life will be turned upside down much more than it is now.

If you really don't want your parents to split up, then don't get involved in this and don't say anything to anybody. They are both your parents. And it's not your duty to take sides in any disagreement between your parents.

Your parents have a duty to take care of you and not the other way around.

Answer 7

Don't do anything, i didn't feel like reading so thats all i can say. But tell your dad he has 3 choices, a chance to devorce without saying anything, tell your mom, or you will. See if he decides to devorce and you guys keep the cheating a secret thats fine as long as he's not wasting your moms time, he should leave or tell the truth. You don't want your mom to be wasting her time with a cheater.

Answer 8

dont run on problems it will just chase you instead face it. be a man to face it. hey! tell it to your mom! she must know the truth. will you let your dad cheat on your mom forever? as a son you must protect your mom if your dad is not doing right. whatever happens to your family at least you have ease the burden. and you have done the right thing. it is impossible to forget it becouse it will just keep on hunting you.

Answer 9

I know somebody that knows your pain my 9 yr. old cousin caught my aunt in bed with my uncles best friend and my cousin told his dad and he divorced my aunt so see if you keep it in it's just gonna hurt your mom even more because the longer your dad cheats on your mom the harder it will be to tell.

Answer 10

Don't confront your dad. Go straight to your mom, and tell her. Your mom doesn't need to be in an unhappy relationship where her husband is untrue to her.

I have a son, and I would want my son to let me know if anything like this happened to me!

Good Luck, Hun.