I'm dying inside everytime he goes out with his female ex-classmates, i feel sad, betrayed, unwanted. Can you tell me why? He goes out with one each time, and he never tells me, i always have to find out myself. When i confront him, he'd tell me i'm trying to stir up trouble and its good enough that he did not bring them home.
2006-12-29 22:37:30 · 16 answers · asked by Raven Hood® 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We have been dating for 4 years... its just so hard to let go.... i should grow a back bone and stand up for myself right?
2006-12-29 22:46:05 · update #1
heheh sounds just like me. i guess it is cos we are insecure and want to be loved... and also mistrust in another person, if u have been hurt before, or cheated or lied to ... well, it destroys ur sense of reasonability... and, eventhough they may be doing nothing with the girls.. well, u feel left out and angry. maybe it is cos he doesnt pay u attention.... or maybe he is just prick that doesnt deserve u! I mean my last BF was coming over, and he called me to say he was not coming now, cos he got an offer to go to a party in kings cross, with a gay guy he had just met in QVB... well.... imagine how I felt...although it was innocent, he didnt say sorry, didnt ask if I wanted to go, didnt ask if i minded if he went... i was left out... rejected... Jealousy is a feeling that comes from feeling low and rejected, insecure.. and if anyone knows how to change that...i need them too!! There may also be issues of self worth there which i also have... bend over backwards for someone to like me.. and when they do, i expect them to be totally mine... and i become possessive... maybe it is also a yearning to be loved by someone... and let me tell u men are not ones to love truly and deeply... they lack emotion, sincerity and honesty... the only way to fix it is open communication on both ur parts, and to sort it out... tell him how u feel, and try to make him include u... and, as a psychologist told me once... if someone does something to you that THEY KNOW really upsets u, cut them off.. cut them from your life, and dont give them chances... which I think is the only way to go... I cut people off from my life on a weekly basis for various reasons cos im so sensitive..! You have to decide what u r worth, and look for someone that will treat u how u deserve to be treated..! Ed.
2006-12-29 22:45:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be jealous too if he was sneaking behind your back like that. You need to find yourself a guy that wont treat you that way because to me that is as good as cheating if he doesn't feel the need to tell you that he is hanging out with some other girl. I mean its not that bad if its a bunch of old friends all hanging out but it seems to me like its more then that. I would let him know that it is not jealousy that is driving you but mere concern over your happiness in the relationship, you can't be happy if he is gonna be behaving like that.
2006-12-30 06:42:55 · answer #2 · answered by Kelly 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't overcome your jealousy - you have every right to feel that way. It sounds like you're lowering yourself to keep him and all he's doing is trying to drive you away. I don't know the depth of your feelings for him but you need to get away, be away from him, and stay away from him till he comes to his senses. Everyone needs to get their "freak" out & he's doing it with what it seems like quiet approval from you because you're still with him. Sadly, I don't think he'll change but if he loves you, he'll get a chance to remember that he loves you when you're not around to pick up after him. Preserve your dignity and walk away for the sake of your sanity, your health and your pride. Don't forget - you also have choices and you can make the right ones without having to compromise yourself. Be strong and hold on to your convictions. No matter what happens, you win and you become stronger - who knows, you might even find someone who will utterly love you & be true to you ....
2006-12-30 06:49:15 · answer #3 · answered by chynnablue 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You two are in a relationship and live together?
How many ex-classmates?
How often and is it with just One each time?
Jealous your word or his?
His responds, would piss me off. its controlling and manipulative
I say, then let the trouble begin.
He is being disrespectful and thoughtless.He wants to go out with other females, that's his right. But this female wont be one of them. You are allowing him to date others. ex classmates PLEASE and He doesn't tell you. HE is having his cake and eating too. He is being deceitful and playing you for a fool.
2006-12-30 07:19:17 · answer #4 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Lose the creep!! The guy is going out with different girls and that might be one thing, but him not telling you is something else. I understand why you feel jealous but you should morph that jealousy into anger. I think you need to lay down the law with him. Naaaaah....it won't matter to him so I go back to what I initially said, lose the creep!
2006-12-30 06:45:25 · answer #5 · answered by r_a_i_n_m_a_n_5_9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think this guy is right for you. If you two are in a relationship he should have enough sense to take only you out and just be friendly towards other girls and nothing more. It sounds like he's just using you. Express how you feel towards him. Tell him we're in a relationship and you need to quit going out with other girls. This is not right, this guy has absolutely no respect for you.
2006-12-30 06:42:44 · answer #6 · answered by Rocky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he is a jerk. how can he go out with other girls and still date you? i think he is trying to imply that he does not want to go out with you anymore. well, i feel like you do also. but i didnt tell the boy that i like him... so he doesn't know. When he talks to other girls i really feel very bad. come on, move on and not care about him anymore. that kind of flirt should not deserve you, someone who loves him and hes already been going out with him for 4 years. You can find better men that him. Try to control your emotions.
2006-12-30 07:17:24 · answer #7 · answered by blehheh 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some guy sometimes does something that w'd make u angry n sad,cos he wants to find something whether u love him.maybe this's a test on u,u just let it be n be calm urself,one day he'll come back to u whenever he realised that mutual understanding is the best solution between 2 of u.so it's pointless to argue with him now.
best wishes n happy new year.
2006-12-30 06:52:51 · answer #8 · answered by robert KS LEE. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ummm jerk!! he's telling you he's lucky he didn't bring them home? that is very disrespectful, immature, self-centered and outright mean!!
please ask yourself how would you advice a friend and be a friend to yourself. when people treat your feelings with little regard, it breeds long term self esteem issues, not to mention more insecurity which is the root of jealousy.. do you really want to be treated that way? there are many many men out there. find one that knows how to love and treat a woman. good luck.
2006-12-30 06:41:42 · answer #9 · answered by bb 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get away from it. You should be looking for something that isn't consumed with jealousy. Love is not jealous. I've found that alot of times something in the back of my head makes me that way. 99.9% it turned out to be the best thing to get away from it...
2006-12-30 06:41:19 · answer #10 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋