I am the non-custodial parent. He lives with his mother and two half sisters who are 15 and 11. What could be causing these abandonment anxiety issues?
2006-12-29 19:40:54 · 8 answers · asked by ckgene 4 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Yay, haphoolie!
It's rare to find someone who realizes that when a child is upset it is not always about manipulation! I wish more people (parents) could realize how frustrating it is to have sadness and fear be misconstrued as "testing". I know as an adult how infuriating that can be. I cannot imagine the torment it must cause a little one!
Hap is right. He is literally scared that you are leaving forever when you walk into the next room. As an infant, all children experience some object-constancy issues; they truly believe that when someone leaves their view they are gone forever. This goes on throughout babyhood as separation anxiety. Some kids have more pronounced problems with it because they cannot comprehend divorce, etc. Sounds like your son loves you a lot. I can think of no better prescription than Hap's.
2006-12-29 20:25:15 · answer #1 · answered by Me, Thrice-Baked 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Children don't understand these changes.
One minute they are with mum and then they leave her to go to dad they don't understand why.
Reasure him that you will never leave him and talk with him and explain the situation to him.
Let him know that both mummy and daddy love you and we will never leave you.
Mummy will be waiting for you to come home and I will be here when you come to stay with me again we will always look after you.
Be honest and open talk with him he will understand as little as he is.
Sit him down look him in the eye and use a gentle tone of voice but be confident in your speech.
Lots of love and spend time with him fly some kites take him for ice cream and piggy back rides.
Quality time.
Take care!
2006-12-29 23:26:38 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dont even worry about what causes it. Just solve it by baby steps followed by reward. Go to a distance away but stop before he cries and go back and reward him (hug, kiss whatever) then repeat this and gradually increase the distance away you go and then reward again. Never go far enough to make him cry. Over time - and dont be in a big hurry to do it all in one day - he will learn to trust you over time. You just need to build slowly and solve it with very small increments at first.
2006-12-29 19:57:59 · answer #3 · answered by happy hoolie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is naturally clinging to the father he doesn't see very much of, I'm guessing, and he may have some subconscious fear that you are going to leave him. Lots of kids blame themselves for their parents breaking up. Try to reassure him that you are coming back and will always see him.
2006-12-29 19:52:32 · answer #4 · answered by Stephan P 1 · 2⤊ 0⤋
he's still young and needs reassurance thats all. just explain to him that you are leaving the room and you'll be back in 1 minute. if he screams and has a temper tantrum just ignore it. he'll soon get used to u coming back when u say u will.
2006-12-30 01:12:32 · answer #5 · answered by sherry 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that both of you are males and he wants a male figure around after being around women and girls all the time.I'm not a doctor,but...
2006-12-29 19:44:08 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Nothing, he's is just playing you they learn early. Just come back and don't make a big deal out of it, it won't take him long to get the picture.
2006-12-29 19:54:53 · answer #7 · answered by teffy2toes 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋
He is just a child!Why are you bein' so hypered?
2006-12-29 20:53:39 · answer #8 · answered by roughdude_16 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋