My brother starts arguements and my mother fights for him and never lets me speak. She constantly tells him she loves him and she calls me a *****. She calls me selfish and spoiled. I never ask her for anything. I buy her expensive gifts and she never says thank you, or if she likes it. She hasn't hugged me or told me she loved me in so long I can't remember when the last time was. The only time she ever talks to me is to tell me to do something or to yell at me. I'm the only one out of her two children, and I try so hard to make her love me, but she still doesn't even respect me. She constantly accsues me of lying and doesn't believe a single thing I say. She even favors the cats over me. I'm sure most of you will think that I am exaggerating, but I can assure you that I'm not. I'm so afriad of talking to her, I don't want another fight, I don't want to hear her say those things to me. No one else in the house defends me either. All I ever hear her say is that I'm a total mistake and that she wishes that I never was born, why does she hate me so much, and what can I do for her to love me!? My dad isn't even alive, so I can't talk to him!! But that also means that I can't just ignore my mother!! And I have no realitives, I have asked this before, but I need an answer really bad, I have tried telling, and tried getting help, what are the other options? I don't want call a hotline, or the cops, I want a better way to fix this, but I just don't know what to do!!
2006-12-29 18:23:20 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
My mom also smokes a LLLLLOOOOOTTTT. How can I make her quit?? I think I may have asthma. (sp?)
2006-12-29 18:25:29 · update #1
I'm not aggressive, but where I live you simply HAVE to know how to defend yourself in one or another way.
2006-12-29 18:29:00 · update #2
What I think you should do first is gather the courage and the strength to deal with this. You should get a journal, and write ALL your thoughts in it whenever you feel lonely or scared. That's what I do.
I have journal full of letters to my parents, my friends, people, saying how I'm thankful for them, or how I think they're wrong for doing a certain something. This could help you express more, and stress less.
What you could also do is find Information. Figure out why and what she doesn't like about you. Ask your grandparents or get your brother (possibly) to talk to your mom about you and her relationship. You can also get counseling with her. You could tell a close friend of your Mom's, what's happening. And she could talk to your mom, too. And she could possibly persuade her to be a better mother figure. To treat you right. Truly, if it comes to the point where your Mom may be abusive -- go call the cops. Your Mom may be going through alot of stress right now, ya never know! So, keep it on the down low for now. Continue to be a good daughter.
I just want you to know, you're not a mistake. SERIOUSLY.
Nobody enters the world as a mistake. So, don't get caught up with all that.
Hope that everything turns out fine.
- mmmfilipino
2006-12-29 18:36:49 · answer #1 · answered by mmmfilipino 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hello sister, I am so sorry for your situation. You must feel so lonely and rejected. First off, know that you were not a mistake. The Bible says that God new you before you were in the womb. God planned you to be born. You were make special and you have a special place in his heart. A place that no othere human can have. It is a tragedy that your mother sends messages to you that she doesnt love you. Know this. Even though God planned you, you may not have been planned by your mother and she didnt know how to deal with it. Some where in her life, she was rejected too. Sit here down and talk to her and ask her why she feels the way she does towards you. Also, let her know how you feel when she says the things that she says to you and ask her if she really wants you to feel like you were a mistake. Let her know that you are sorry for anything that you have done that has put a wedge between you and her and that you want to have a real genuine mother and daughter mother relationship with her. Then you must face the reality that she may not be able to have the kind of relationship that you want with her. You may have to face that reality and forgive her. Be the daughter that you should be to her. There is nothing you can do to make her love you. It must be her choice. I would recommend seeing a good counselor and he/she can help you to know how to deal with this. Remember, just because your mother rejects you doesnt mean that you are not important. You have many good qualities. Use them to bless others. In the bible, God says that even if your mother and father forsakes you, I will never forsake you. You are special. You are wonderfully made by your Heavenly Father. You have a purpose in life. Greater Joy comes from loving people, not in being loved. Talk to a counselor.Get in a support group. Many churches have support groups that have others people that are dealing with the same issues that you are having. Call this number and they can help. 1-800 newlife. Hope this helps. :)
2006-12-30 02:44:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leiber Deutsche Hooligan - I knew someone that was in a similar situation as you. She discovered that her mother treated her like that because she was treated the same way from her mother. I don't know if this is the case of your mother & grandmother. Are you the youngest child? Also, there are mothers that believe their sons never do wrong but that their daughters never do anything right. I'm sorry to hear this happening to you. You don't say how old you are but I could suggest talking to a school counselor or seeking some professional advise from a family relationship specialist. And if you need someone to talk to, just drop me an e-mail or IM. I wish you the best. Viel Glueck und Alles Gute!
2006-12-30 02:33:38 · answer #3 · answered by curtf1964 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I use to somewhat feel that way about my mom, but she developed a conscience realizing she needs to love all of her kids equally not one over all the others(my younger sister). Anyway, your mom could be on drugs, or just plain ridiculous. Can you live with anyone else? This sounds serious, and this could turn domestic. I'm sorry to hear about it, and proud that you are able to put up with it. But it's not healthy, and if your mother doesn't want to get herself together, even your brother, then she'll regret it. You're her daughter and should be her first priority, not just your brother. She could be doing some drugs. See if you can find out. If she's not, you need somewhere else to stay to make life for you easier.
Krazy Libra
2006-12-30 02:29:47 · answer #4 · answered by krazy_libra_from_ac 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I m pretty sure that she dose love you, since I don't have the whole story I can't tell you why she behaves this way toward you. I will suggest that you set a time for yourself. Give yourself one month to not argue or fight with anybody in your family, not with your brother not with your mother, even when they are 100% wrong, just bite your tougue for one month, this way you can also clear your own head and see things more clearly and see if she change her attitude toward you afterwards. Good luck, sorry you have to go through this.
2006-12-30 02:34:27 · answer #5 · answered by Evangeless 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
What country you in and how old are you? I grew up in a similar environment and became a crown ward and ended up in foster care. Truthfully best thing that happened to me considering the circumstances I was in. Now I have an amazing daughter and my relationship with her is tight. It's hard cause I don't know what a normal mother daughter relationship is but I do know that she means the world to me, and my birth mother wants to see her and be with her more than anything. The way I look at it; when she signed her rights away to me, she signed rights to any future grand children I may bare....
2006-12-30 02:30:28 · answer #6 · answered by summer_p1b1x4 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
maybe you should go to a church or school and talk to a counceler or priest. then maybe thay can set up familey concelling if you,er mom is willing to go. maybe she dont relize how much damage she is doing to you emotionally grown up sometimes get so caught up in the matters of adult hood thay seem to forget what it like to see things threw the eyes of a child. the importance of the simple word i love you hopefully when you.er grown up with kids of you,er own you wont lose that quilty with you,er child, but for now try to concentrate on school so you will become strong and out standing young lady in spite of. she will need you one day. still be there for her the best way to hurt some one you fill is doing you wrong is with kindness. keep you,er head up. for outlet go to room and read read read. chow.
2006-12-30 02:48:46 · answer #7 · answered by goldenangelhearts 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my dad treated me like that for most of my life and finally, i decided that this is not gonna get better. I haven`t talked to him for 2 years now and. although i have tried over the years to get along and beg up to him, it never worked for long. I know it hurts, but sometimes our own parents have no love for us. Get on with your own life and realize that you have done all that you can. I sympathize with you and wish i could hug you as a kindred spirit.
2006-12-30 02:31:24 · answer #8 · answered by Scottyboy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i feel your pain im sorry i dont have that experience but my close friend is and it does not matter how much you try and try it will not fix it sorry but it is a reality a painful one more so coming from you mom.my advice go to college and get out of the house then live away from her and visit every so often and move on with your live it hurts but you have to keep living and deal with it move on and learn from your mom mistakes and treat your babies with love love for you from me
2006-12-30 02:33:16 · answer #9 · answered by revolution 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was just looking at your profile:
About me: Leave me alone if your that crazy b*tch that's been stalking me, otherwise, well, leave me alone and you won't get hit.
Are you an aggressive person and is this why you are being treated this way?
2006-12-30 02:27:21 · answer #10 · answered by SEO 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋