Are theses funny church signs?

Question

The following are actual signs found on church property.

*"No God-No Peace. Know God-Know Peace."

*"Free Trip to heaven. Details Inside!"

"Try our Sundays. They are better than Baskin-Robbins."

"Searching for a new look? Have your faith lifted here!"

An ad for St. Joseph's Episcopal Church has a picture of two hands holding stone tablets on which the Ten Commandments are inscribed and a headline that reads, "For fast, fast, fast relief, take two tablets."

When the restaurant next to the Lutheran Church put out a big sign with red letters that said, "Open Sundays," the church reciprocated with its own message: "We are open on Sundays, too."

"Have trouble sleeping? We have sermons-come hear one!"

A singing group called "The Resurrection" was scheduled to sing at a church. When a big snowstorm postponed the performance, the pastor fixed the outside sign to read, "The Resurrection is postponed."

"If you can't sleep, don't count sheep. Talk to the Shepherd."

"People are like tea bags-you have to put them in hot water before you know how strong they are."

"God so loved the world that He did not send a committee."

"Come in and pray today. Beat the Christmas rush!"

"When down in the mouth, remember Jonah. He came out alright."

"Sign broken. Message inside this Sunday."

"Fight truth decay-study the Bible daily."

"How will you spend eternity-Smoking or Non-smoking?"

"Dusty Bibles lead to Dirty Lives"

"Come work for the Lord. The work is hard, the hours are long and the pay is low. But the retirement benefits are out of this world."

"Our arms are the only ones God has to hug His children."

"It is unlikely there'll be a reduction in the wages of sin."

"Do not wait for the hearse to take you to church."

"If you're headed in the wrong direction, God allows U-turns."

"If you don't like the way you were born, try being born again."

"Looking at the way some people live, they ought to obtain eternal fire insurance soon."

Last ones!!


"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---> (U R)

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."


Hope you had a great laugh.

Last ones!!


"This is a ch_ _ ch. What is missing?" ---> (U R)

"Forbidden fruit creates many jams."

"In the dark? Follow the Son."

"Running low on faith? Stop in for a fill-up."

Answer 1

hahaha very good

so hows my number 1 user today?

and wow how much do i love you ?

and erm nice to see you ask a question for once

always yours

Mr Pants xxx

Answer 2

Pretty Funny

Answer 3

Amen!

A girl climbed a tree besides the church...without undies, when a priest happen to pass by and looked up...Hey girl, come down here,,,said the priest.

The priest admonished the girl for climbing tree ...and said to girl: ...by the way...giving girl 5 bucks...you should be ashamed of yourself...buy yourself underwear.

The girl's mother heard the story, went to the church, removed her undies, climb the tree and waited for the priest.

Priest came...looked up...ordered her down...gave her .50 cents. and told her: by the way...you should be ashamed of yourself...buy yourself a razor.

Answer 4

I especially liked the "Open on Sundays" one.

Answer 5

Yes, most of those were funny.
How about this one...
Become a organ donor...Give your heart to the Lord!

Answer 6

good signs i laught at some of them, but some of them i really liked, they had some deep meaning that you need to read them over and over again to get to the point and the meaning of them.

Answer 7

Those are pretty cute.....it's nice to see some humor in church

Answer 8

The only thing worse than Christians, apparently, is their sense of humor.

Answer 9

HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHHA ~GASP~ HAHAHHAHAHHA crazy church ppls... tell them heather says to tell her when they see god back on earth hahahahahahah that`ll get them mad

Answer 10

Those are awesome, Thanks!!! I copied them and will send them on to all my friends. Very funny!