I was raised Roman Catholic, my husband Southern Baptist & we don't know how to handle baptizing our 2 girls?

Question

My girls are 2 and 3 now - we are not regular churchgoers because of our ridiculously hectic lives and the inablilty to sit still (the kids)... If we were to attend, I would prefer a Catholic church whereas my husband would go to a Baptist church. BUT we want our religion to be a family experience. Neither of us will budge on a conversion to a different faith but we are happy living as 'christians.' Well, now that we want to have the kids baptized - we are stuck. So here's my question - Could our daughters be baptized un both churches? Both as a catholics and as baptists??? Any insight would be greatly appreciated especially if you've been through something similar... Thank you in advance.

Also.. My husband and I were not married in a church because of Military responsibilty - so we have not made any promises to either religion...

ALSO... I was raised in a mix religion family - my mother a Mormon and my dad very Catholic... I was baptized Catholic and blessed in the Mormon church...

Answer 1

Don't baptize them. Let them choose to do it themselves.

Answer 2

well, I think you partly answered it for yourself....

the important part is to live as "Christians"
when we are baptized we aren't baptized into the Baptist faith or the Catholic faith. We are baptized into "Christ".
Paul had this discussion with the Corinthians in 1st Corinthians Chap 3. After getting baptized some would say I am now in "Paul" or I am now in "Apollos", but we are truly baptized into CHRIST.......so i encouraged you to let that be your focus...........if you can put your differences aside about what "religion" or "denomination" you and your husband are, then it should not matter where you baptize those children as long you raise them in Jesus.

As a United Methodist minister I have taken in many folks for all different churches and denominations. Not, trying to make thing more difficult on you here.........but you might try a different church other than Baptist or Catholic and find something you both like....I have had couples in my own church just like yourselves. The one raised catholic, the other raised Baptist or Nazarene. Sometimes finding neutral ground while still clinging to your roots in your own hearts is very good.

Just a suggestion............

Hope that helps some...........

Jesus Loves You

Rev Shank

Answer 3

Well a baptist church certainly won't baptize them at ages 2 and 3. Baptists follow a modern tradition of men whereby a person has to be old enough to make a personal commitment to Christ, and baptism then serves as an outward sign of that commitment. This of course is an idea no Christian on earth ever heard of until a few hundred years ago.

The Catholic Church follows the traditional and biblical teaching that no-one can enter the kingdom without baptism, and that it is therefore important to baptize a child as soon as possible. And, the baptism is not something we do to demonstrate our faith in God, but something God does, to fill our soul with grace and to make us members of the body of Christ.

Your children cannot be baptized twice. The Catholic Church recognizes Baptist baptism as valid, and therefore will not rebaptize a person baptized in a Baptist church.
.

Answer 4

I'm not sure what the Catholic purpose of baptism is. With Baptist it's external demonstration of what Christ has done internally... that being that your sins have been washed away... it's symbol of being crucified with Christ, buried, and resurrected to walk in the newness of life in Him... which is why Baptist dunk and not sprinkle. Speaking as a former Baptist minister, you're girls are 2 and 3... they have no business being baptized right now. Baptism in the Baptist denomination is a reserved ordinance of Christ (like communion) for those who believe they have received Christ into their hearts by asking Christ to forgive their sins and accepting his forgiveness and committing to living their lives according to his commands. Your girls are way too young to understand any of that. There would be no significance in being baptized right now according to the Baptist doctrine which most believe is strongly supported Biblically. Also baptizing now would give them a false sense of salvation. Your differences in beliefs is a too common issue for many believers... which is why most Baptist marry another Baptist and visa versa. Speaking as a former Christian... my believe was that baptism came after a genuine salvation experience. Maybe you should wait until your girls are older and more capable to make decision and let them decide how they want to be baptized. The "how to" of baptism is much less important than the "why to". The most important thing to consider is family unity above all else... so compromise on both sides will be needed.

Answer 5

Southern Baptists do not baptize infants and toddlers. They baptize those who are of age, and have made a decision to be a follower of Christ. The youngest I've seen was 6 yrs old. They do have baby dedication services where the parents agree to raise the child as a Christian.
It's good to have Sunday as a day of rest and worship. Go to church Sunday morning and spend the rest of the day together and resting. Most all churches have a nursery provided for toddlers and babies.
Perhaps you and husband could agree to disagree, and you take the girls to church with you on a regular basis. If they want to go with Dad when they are older that's fine.

Answer 6

Well, let me help a little.

First, Baptist belief in its proper form says that no one should be baptized before adulthood so I doubt a baptist Church would do it anyway, so that just leaves Catholicism.

It sounds like you are both believers but you find reasons to not get involved with the Body of Christ, his people, to use the Apostle Paul's term. It also sounds like neither of you have ever really explored your faith together and so you now have a problem.

I would recommend a book by two former Protestant theologians who became Catholic, "Home Sweet Rome," by Scott and Kimberly Hahn. It sounds like you both need a scripture and teaching course.

Also, some heartening things. Baptism does not make you a member of a Church, it makes you a member of the Body of Christ. A Baptist who is baptized and a Catholic who is baptized are part of the same Body. All baptized people are considered Catholic unless they explicitly reject the Catholic Church.

Finally, Baptists are a rejection of Catholicism, the reverse is not true. In its origins, Baptists for a variety of reasons believe Catholics are wrong. If you investigate the reasons, you will find they are not well founded and mostly emotional. The Protestant Reformation was a civil war and millions died in it. One third of all Germans died during it about even on both sides. The original baptists would go from town to town and try and save them. Anyone who wasn't saved was killed. Of course they have improved their theology since then. Menno Simmons in particular brought them along.

That is 500 years ago, but it still haunts your family today.

Finally, you should both check out each others churches formally, not just attend. Both groups have programs for adults. To refuse to convert is pure stubborness and has nothing to do with God, that is each of you saying I am keeping my way.

If you are happy living as Christians then you should be happy in both Churches. Visit both, see which has more scripture in its services, see which is healing to your family.

Finally, the inability to sit still should have nothing to do with your decision. Going to Church is one of the ways society teaches children to sit still. No child that age sits still, they are not supposed to. How will they learn to act if they are not exposed to situations where they need to learn?

Answer 7

Were you married in the Catholic Church? If so, then one of the provisions would have been that you and husband promise to raise your future children Catholic.

In light of that, I think you'd both be obligated to have the kids baptized in the Catholic Church.

I suppose another baptism ceremony could be held in your husband's church -- but in the Catholic Church's eyes, it wouldn't mean anything.

I think it's important to bring the kids up in something in terms of a religious faith, though. In the case of an interreligious marriage, traditionally people usually lean toward the mother's religion. So, Catholic it is.

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Answer 8

For a child to be baptized in the Catholic Church, "there must be a founded hope that the infant will be brought up in the Catholic religion" (Code of Canon Law 868 §1.2). Since you weren't married in the Catholic Church, you will probably have trouble convincing a priest you will bring the children up in a faith you yourself are not practicing.

No, you cannot have your children baptized in both churches. There is only one baptism, and it leaves a permanent mark on the soul. It cannot be repeated. Furthermore, "Parents or those who take the place of parents who hand offer their children to be baptized or educated in a non Catholic religion are to be punished with a censure or other just penalty." (Code of Canon Law 1366)

If you cannot honestly say you will bring up them up Catholic, it would probably be best to postpone baptism.

Answer 9

Anyone Baptized a Christian outside the Catholc Church is not in need of a re-Baptism inside the Church. I doubt very much that the Catholic Church will allow your daughters to be "Re-Baptized". Only one Baptism is needed and, so long as one is Baptized in "the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit". the Baptism is valid no matter what Christian denomination performs it.

Your Spiritual well-fare of your children must come first. They will, eventually learn what Baptism is. There is a possibility they will not understand why two Baptisms were needed. This might cause then some confusion and even severe doubt in both the Catholic and Baptist denominations.

Here's what you must do.

If you truly wish your family to have a strong Christian heritage, the family MUST become regular Church goers. Whether you go to A Baptist Church or a Catholic Church, or splite up for the sabbath, whatever. This has to start as soon as possible.

If you do not do this, your childten will eventually become conflicted by your zeal to have them Baptized and live as Christans - but not attend Church regularly? This makes little sense. Why follow one commandment of the Lord and ignore others? This makes no sense.

I know it's a pain to get some children to pipe down long enough for a Church service. Have you considered that, perhaps if you were regular church goers, your children might have already become aclimated to settling down at Church? The longer you wait, the more difficult it is going to be.

Perhaps you and your husband shoud attend your respective denomination's services, each of you taking one of your children. It is MUCH easier to get one child to settle down than more than one. Also, trade off each week, allowing your children to become exposed to the different denominations in your family. They may come to understand the similarities and differences between your two denominations better than most. This wisdom is PRICELESS.

I do not believe you and your husband have to pick one denomination for everyone. Even though there will be two Christian denominations, your household will exhibit a great display of Christian unity and cross-denomination respect.

Based on "military responsibility", I have to assume you are not married under the eyes of God? This must be rectified. That is, if you want you and your husband to be proper Christian role models for your children. I know that sounded a bit harsh but, it's true. You will fail at fostering a strong Christian presence in your home and will your children if you and your husband will not obey the Sacraments you want your childten to obey.

Seriously consider making that promise to each other, to and for your children, and most important - to God.

Some day your children will be old enough to decided for themselves which denomination is "best". You and your husband have to promise (to them and too yourselves) that you will respect their choices. If they both become Baptists, so be it. If they become Catholic, so be it. If you get one of each, so be that.

So long as they grow up with a strong sense of being Christian, regardless of denomination, you've done your job as a Christian parent.

Answer 10

My advice? Go ahead and do both. The Baptist baptism is entirely symbolic, so how could it conflict with your Catholic baptism? They are two completely different ceremonies, and serve two completely different purposes. The Catholic baptism is performed to impart grace, and the Baptist baptism is used to publicly demonstrate a belief in Christ. What is most important is that you preserve peace in the home, expose your children to both forms of the faith, and encourage them to choose which (if either) they want to follow when they are old enough to make that decision.

The opposition that you are going to face is this: According to the canons of the Catholic Church, re-baptism is an heretical practice. But, according to the canons, baptisms that are performed by non-Catholics don't count as an additional baptism. If you start with the Catholic baptism, then you shouldn't have any problem following that up with the Baptist ceremony.

Answer 11

I think that what you're doing could be spiritually very dangerous for a child. Generally, it is best for a child to grow up with parents who have the same religion.

This is a very difficult question, since the Baptist and Catholic concept of baptism is very different. Roman Catholics baptise children who often don't know what it means, and believe that it is essential for salvation. Baptists believe that it is an elective act of obedience to God not necessary for salvation.

Simple logic says that one of you must be wrong. At any rate, you two need to have a long talk about which religion you want to raise your children into, because it isn't feasible to tell them that both are acceptable - that will confuse them to no end. If it were me, I would raise them Catholic, but I would remove the following aspects of catholicism:
1. You can be forgiven by God alone, without a priest.
2. There are no "mortal sins"

If you want to mention purgatory to them, fine - but I'm pretestant and strongly believe in it's non-existence. Don't tell them about limbo.