My ex fiancee and I of 4 years broke up about a year and a half ago. I'm ready to move on. But it's really hard to meet people. I just go to work where I see the same people and then hang out with my friends that are married. No one knows anyone that's single. A couple of people have tried to set me up. And for one reason or another it just didn't work out. Another thing and I'm not shallow but the guys that I seem to have an interest in don't like me. And then the one's that like me I'm not interested in go figure. My ex wasn't the best looking guy in the world but I was very attracted to him. I just want to find that again. My sister thinks I should join a singles club. But in the process she starts saying things like Look at the bacherette show the most beautiful people go on that and don't find anyone. She said I see unattractive and heavyset people with people all the time. I'm not heavyset could lose 20 pounds. I don't think she thinks I'm ugly. Was this an insult?
2006-12-29 17:06:04 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mean maybe it just came out wrong. But she never said oh you're pretty. She actually made me feel really bad. I mean people do say I'm pretty sometimes and I have had guys interested but I don't even tell her this because, I think this is bragging. She's pretty and if she was in my situation I'd tell her so. She'll tell me if she thinks a friend of hers is pretty though it hurts!!!
2006-12-29 17:08:37 · update #1
I think you are taking what your sister said way out of context because you are feeling hurt! That's natural but before you grow horns on your head let me try to help your sister relay her message. She meant to say that it will happen naturally. It is not your looks because even the most beautiful people are single and some of the most unattractive people (that society considers) are happiley in love. Which is true. I think that you are trying to rush it and in so many words your sister is saying the same thing. Don't mop around but don't force being attracted to someone right off the bat. It takes most people more than a year to realize their attraction to someone. It takes longer to get to know someone.So just try dating with no emotions and no expectations and I am sure you will get good results but your sister seems to have you best interest at heart! You should thank her!
2006-12-29 17:12:32 · answer #1 · answered by from_me_to_you 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nah, she's just trying to be helpful. If you're not drop-dead gorgeous you aren't going to attract men with the body, so you have to develop other attractors. What you seem to need is not better personal equipment but better fishing spots. Take what you have and get into some new areas. Go to church. Join a coed gym. Go to the library. Join a walking club. Take up stamp collecting. Volunteer for the Boy Scouts. The more guys you meet, the more guys meet you and the better your chances of connecting positively.
2006-12-30 01:10:33 · answer #2 · answered by RangerEsq 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe she's trying to say you should reset your standards?
I don't know your sister, only you can decipher the meaning behind her statements,, buut I do know that there are many beautifully wrapped ugly people out there, and some wrapped in plain paper that shine like diamonds! My advise is, quit digging for gold in a coal mine! Just let it happen. You may miss the one
diamond in the rough while you're too busy looking the other way!.Just be yourself, be patient, and let mother nature do her thing ;-)
2006-12-30 01:18:52 · answer #3 · answered by lizrdluvnmom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
U could take that remark in a negative way but i dont think thats what she meant.It was a harmless comment meaning that it doesnt take a looks to find someone to be with. I do it all the time especially after u have just broken up with someone and u see couples out and about and i think how the hell did he ever get someone like her etc.
2006-12-30 01:11:20 · answer #4 · answered by jafsil 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No - it wasn't an insult - it just came out wrong. She was saying that it's got nothing to do with looks. You're just not looking in the right places.
2006-12-30 01:09:07 · answer #5 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think it was an insult. Since she's your sister, why don't you just ask HER what she meant.
2006-12-30 01:09:03 · answer #6 · answered by Tellin' U Da Truth! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
try to be open minded. you shldnt be looking for your ex. you should be looking for the perfect guy that suits you. gd luck.
2006-12-30 01:09:03 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋