My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while and she hasn't told her mom she is gay yet. I am very open about the whole "being gay" thing , and so is she, to everyone but her family. What can i do without making her feel pressured to do it? and is it really a big deal? Does it mean shes not serious about being with me?
2006-12-29 16:42:34 · 14 answers · asked by i try but theres no use.... 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
don't pressure her cuz her family most likely will take it badly she dose take being with you seriously she most likely just dosen't want her parents to tear u apart cuz she loves being with u!
2006-12-29 16:58:05 · answer #1 · answered by cat-o-doom 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Number one, coming out to family can sometimes be harder than coming out to friends. If she has a very religious family, then they may have a hard time accepting her, and she may know it. Also, sometimes even if a parent is very liberal outwardly, and accepts gays and lesbians as friends, doesn't always mean they'll have a positive reaction to their child being homosexual. The reason being that it can be a big shock to find out that your son (or in your case daughter) is gay. They would probably get used to it eventually, but the initial reaction can be painfull.
Number two, yes, to her, if she hasn't come out to her family this late in the game, then it probably is a big deal, and she may feel nervous or uncomfortable about it. I think your best bet is to talk to her kindly about the issue, and try to gently get her to open up to you about her feelings on it. It could be a tender subject for her, so be careful where you tread, and watch her expressions and reactions carefully, to make sure she's not hurting.
Number three, no, the issue of coming out to her family is entirely seperate from the status of your relationship together. All it means is that she could be having conflicting feelings about coming out. If she is being cautious, it might even show that she really does care about the relationship, because she wants to protect it, and maybe feels that coming out to her family could put it in jepoardy. A word of warning: when you speak with her, do not mention any doubts about her seriousness in the relationship, because it could upset her, and possibly make her think you doubt her feelings for you.
Number four, a note to all those people answering this PERFECTLY RESPECTABLE QUESTION with things like "eww gross" or "get off the website" are being rude, disrespectful, and incomprehensively bigotted. Please keep your negative remarks to yourself, because they can be very offensive, and do not help the person asking answer their question.
As to you my friend, good luck.
E.E.
2006-12-29 17:14:35 · answer #2 · answered by emerald.eyes 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to give her time and not pressure her. Pressuring her will just make everything worse. Maybe her family wouldn't like the idea... you don't know what's going on inside her head or what her family is like behind closed doors. Just trust her. This is different than a guy keeping his gf secret (in most cases)... this is a very different situation so give her the benefit of the doubt and let her tell them if/when she is ready. In the meantime enjoy each other's company.
2006-12-29 16:49:01 · answer #3 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should let your girlfriend decide when the time is right for her to be open and honest with her family. If she is pushed to do it before she is ready, she could resent you and end your relationship. I don't think she hasn't told them because she isn't serious about you, it may be just harder on her than it was on you, especially if you've always known you're gay, and she hasn't. Give her time, if she is serious about you and your relationship, the time will come for her to tell them... Good Luck!!
2006-12-29 16:48:05 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it means that she's not serious about you - it means that she's probably not sure how her family will react - OR she knows how her family will react and isn't too happy with the idea of telling them yet. Give her time - does her mom know you're gay? Perhaps, just by the time you two spend together - she'll have a clue about it anyway.
2006-12-29 16:46:56 · answer #5 · answered by karespromise 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok...just ignore some of these answers people are giving you....i think thats just rude for people to react like that.
Just give it time though, hopefully it will all work out well. I see no big deal....you are who you are....but some people take it too a harsh extent. There is no easy way with this im sure....it has to be hard...but she does need to come out and tell them...the sooner the better...so you or her wont have to worry about it no more. Hope everything works out great for you!
2006-12-29 16:58:40 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you show your gf's mom how gay you really are make it obvious to the mom what a mushy, messy kid you are?. You can quickly find out this way whatever you wish to know.
Go ahead be bold and face the consequences.
2006-12-29 16:56:54 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no its just means shes scared she dosnt want her family to turn their back on her which is probably what happened when she tols her friends so just give it time eventually she will move in and tell them express how you feel to her but dont pressure.
i'm not gay but its just like telling ur parents you crashe their marcedies so dont fret it will come out soon good luck
2006-12-29 16:47:26 · answer #8 · answered by teenage_drama 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, honestly. People are so screwed up these days. Get your head in order and get a boyfriend. If girls were meant to go with girls, they'd have been born with male parts, and then they'd be boys anyway.
2006-12-29 16:48:40 · answer #9 · answered by lostinthought421 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Write an anonymous letter to her mom and sign your name.
2006-12-29 16:46:44 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋