I recently met a man worth dating and I am moving, case of poor timing. Anyway, we are hitting it off so well and it's exclusive and serious. I want to stay to pursue this and he is not allowing that. Do you think it's because he doesn't want to pursue this or is he just being unselfish? I guess the real question is............if you met an incredible woman would you ask her to stay or tell her to go. Assume that he genuinely likes me very much. Is it a sign of love or weakness to ask her to stay?
2006-12-29 16:24:47 · 20 answers · asked by curious 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If I loved you I'd ask you to stay, and it would be a sign of love. But, then again, that could be a selfish thing to do if it would interfere with your career unless I tried to help you figure out a way you could stay and still have a good career. OR, if my roots weren't too deep in the ground where I lived/worked, I'd find a way to go with you.
When I got married, my wife's roots weren't deep at all but mine (secure job, owned home, etc) was, so she was the one who moved - but I helped make sure she finished her degree and got a very good job in our community [Of course it was mostly just moral support on my part and she did the accomplishing!].
Hope I helped, or at least gave you something to think about.
Happy New Year
2006-12-29 16:48:26 · answer #1 · answered by J T 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This really depends on the situation. He may be thinking either way, and neither you or anyone else on Yahoo is going to truly know. Tell him, that are being serious, and have that one last 'serious' talk, and make sure he is aware that it's the last serious talk about you staying. At that point, leave if he doesn't still want to.
My opinion is that if you stay, he is going to feel that he must be commited to you long term(almost like getting married), because if you stay and it doesn't work out between you two, then he will feel guilty and you may even throw it in his face that you stayed for him. I'm pretty sure you are already aware of how guys don't always like to committ.
2006-12-29 16:48:28 · answer #2 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
For certain, this depends on your perspective on what you believe and how you view things as much as do his. There are a number of ways each of you could take things. Before you get into all kinds of interpreting his signals, signs, body language and whatever you'd try to get out of him as yourself this:
Considering how well you know him (too little time just means it's probably infatuation- feelings, not decisions to care), is he worth it to you?
If yes, consider the second question: Knowing that he (genuinely) likes you (very much), why not just ask him why he's saying that? I think there's nothing better than honesty in all things.
From there consider what you want and what the best decision for you is. It's difficult, but it'll be worth taking your time on this one.
Don't rush, know what each of you expect and what each of you want out of this, and then go from there. I wish you the best!
2006-12-29 16:31:40 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he doesn't want to be a hindrance to you. Maybe he feels that to continue to allow the relationship to progress would be forcing something on you that eventually you wouldn't like. It may also be that he has or is in the process of losing interest in you and may have someone else who he is getting serious over. It may also be that he doesn't like the fact that eventually there would be a move involved on his part and he is not wanting to move from where he lives. If you wish to know why he is not allowing you to continue the relationship why don't you ask him?
2006-12-29 16:41:11 · answer #4 · answered by Lewis P 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either he feels you are too serious too quickly or he wants you to go because he is done. There is the outside chance he is being realistic or unselfish by telling you to go. If he is insistent on you leaving, then go. Long distance relationships are difficult but, you'll get to see if he still pursues you or dissapears.
2006-12-29 16:29:48 · answer #5 · answered by ontopofoldsmokie 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If i met someone and hit it off really good and then she told she was moving I would ask if she still wanted to continue this relationship if so then moving wouldn't change things...(long distant relationship) if he has no good reason for why he telling you to go and not stay then...it doesn't sound good !
2006-12-29 16:33:22 · answer #6 · answered by Jeff 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Either you are not hitting it off as great as you think or maybe he's actually mad/upset that you are moving. When did you tell him you were moving? Before or after hitting it off? If after, then it is more likely he is mad or feeling betrayed. Telling you to go is sort of a reverse defense mechanism. He's in control of your departure, not you.
2006-12-29 16:37:04 · answer #7 · answered by jhartmann21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's non-selfish he would probably insist that you go. How far away are you going? Start making plans to meet up again and see how he feels about that. This will be a good indicator of how much he likes you.
2006-12-29 16:27:24 · answer #8 · answered by teef_au 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hes just being unselfish and thinking about your best interest this is a sign of true love trust me
2006-12-29 16:27:23 · answer #9 · answered by BeemoRocks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is a tough one. I think he wants you to go for unselfish reasons. He doesn't want to be the one to hold you back from whatever it is you want to do. Maybe one day you can reconnect with him.
2006-12-29 16:33:46 · answer #10 · answered by BigJake418 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋