I dated this guy over a year ago. The only reason we broke up was because he had to move and it would be too hard on the both of us. We are now back together and have been for 3 months. He still lives where he moved to, but is planning on moving back here shortly. After he moved, he picked up a horrible drinking habit. I don't care that he drinks and goes out with his guys, but it had gotten to the point that this happened EVERY night. No Joke. About a week ago, I mentioned that it really bothered me and so he stopped getting drunk. Then last night he started again, and its happening again tonight..and more likely for the next 3 or more nights to come. It wouldnt be so bad if he didnt forget to call me or if he didnt forget the next day that he talked to me the night before. How can I tell him that I dont want it to be like this without risking our relationship? I dont want to make him choose. It shouldnt be like that..So please help. I'd appreciate it!
2006-12-29 16:15:19 · 8 answers · asked by sweetheart07 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
That really sucks. He's drinking most likely because he's not happy. Just be cautious because if he suddenly drinks there has to be a reason. Probably more than him hanging out with his friends so they get drunk... to do it every night he must be unhappy. It isn't necessarily the relationship... moving is stressful, etc. Talk to him about it without fighting. You have to do something because this is no way to go. You have to let him know how you feel... if he just recently started he's probably not a full-fledged alcoholic yet so there's hope. Let him know how you feel... pretty soon it will come down to him choosing between the bottle and you.
2006-12-29 16:24:59 · answer #1 · answered by Principessa 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its already a habit. That should tell you something. He is on the road to becoming an alcoholic. I hate to tell you that. But, you need to get out now. As far as him choosing..well, don't be surprised if you are not his first choice. He is going to make promises that he will stop. That he will never do it again. He is getting so drunk that he can't remember whether he talked to you or not. Its a terrible addiction and you will end up drawn into it, not with the drinking but all of the drama that goes with it. You will always be in competition with the bottle and you will always feel alone. Please reconsider what you are getting into. Good Luck
2006-12-30 00:37:46 · answer #2 · answered by Debcee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to ask yourself, is this the kind of relationship I want? If you don't, you have to make a choice. This man has a problem with alcohol. In other words, he is an alcoholic. He may not admit it, but he couldn't stay away from excessive drinking for more than a week. But, he won't quit because you nag. He'll use that as an excuse to drink. It is simple, but difficult. You have to let him know that the relationship cannot go on this way. He must go for help at AA. If he won't, then you need to end it and go on with your life.
2006-12-30 00:27:57 · answer #3 · answered by jerdawge 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok well i no that i ould not want a b/f that got drunk every night so i would just call him and if he did not answer leave a message saying that i have told you before that i do not like you drinking and getting drunk almost everynight then if he does not stop completly then you will probably will have to risk your relationship sorry but i would so get another boy if he did not stop!
2006-12-30 00:25:08 · answer #4 · answered by ballin221 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me ask you this.... if he continues drinking like this for the rest of his life, do you still want to be in a relationship with him? If the answer is "no" then you have to tell him how you feel. Living a life with someone who has a drinking problem is not worth it. If he doesn't have a drinking problem, then it should be hard for him to curb his drinking to just one or two with friends once a week. If he says he can't, then it's a problem and he needs help. If he refuses to get help, then you have to decide if its something you can live with for the rest of your life.
Just don't keep your feelings in. I recommend writing down the reasons why you would like him to quit first. Then right down a list of why he's an important part of your life. Put the lists away for until the next day, then re-read them. It will help you put your thoughts in order for when you talk with him. Remind him how important he is to you and why it's important to the both of you for him to slow down or stop.
Good luck...but remember...no matter how much you love him, he's got to love himself enough to want to be there for you too!
2006-12-30 00:27:50 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can talk him into going to counseling and getting some help would be your best bet...and his...sometimes the people we love the most have problems we can't solve on our own ...sounds to me like you don't have a choice other then to make him choose...what I do when I have a difficult situation that I have to deal with is..I ask myself...if I had this problem would I want him to help me no matter what the cost...? My answer is always ..yes
2006-12-30 00:38:13 · answer #6 · answered by Petal49 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't address this problem...it'll only cause more hardship in your relationship and future. You need to talk to him, if he still doesn't care or want to change-sorry to say-it might have to make the change yourself-aka moving out and stuff-if he really loves you, he wouldn't be so stubborn or careless, and who knows maybe it is for the best you separate-you'll find someone else who you don't need to worry about, someone that will listen to you.
2006-12-30 00:25:07 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just tell him ti bothers u a lot and u get super worried when hes gone and doesnt call.
2006-12-30 00:18:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋